Why not a Midway too?
I have always had a soft spot for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Perhaps it's Clemente, the way he played and died. Perhaps it was the funky hats. Maybe it was even the cocaine abuse and subsequent trial. In the past 15 years it certainly hasn't been for winning.
The team has not had a winning year since Barry was a member of the team and his head was smaller than a beach ball. What in the world of Doug Drabek is going on? Though awarded high first round draft picks for the past decade, they often pick an abused college pitcher voted most likely to have Tommy John surgery.
So how to improve a team that resides at the confluence? Try to sign Jeff Weaver. That should work well. Hire Styx to do a post show concert? How about Smash Mouth? "Hey now you're an all-star" Yes that should be real appropriate in Pittsburgh.