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September 12, 2007

Bad Headline/Teaser Writing

"Even For One of the NFL's Biggest Enigmas, Priest Holmes Comeback Try is a Weird Move"

It looks to be a pretty in-depth article on Holmes and at first blush, both decently researched and written. That headline/teaser (The story title is The Holmes Mystery, but that's not really the headline), though, just seems to trivialize it, centered entirely on the word "Weird." Weird is not a word that I think when I think serious journalism, which ESPN.com tries to do with the E-ticket series. The writer, Elizabeth Merrill, either chose a poor headline or was done a disservice by the headline writer. There is only passing mention of weirdness in the piece, so it's not a crucial part of the story.

It's the lead story on the ESPN homepage, and it sits very funny with me. Maybe something simpler would have been better, like "The Comeback Attempt of an NFL Enigma." Shorter, but still to the point and, at the risk of sounding haughty, a bit more classic and professional-sounding. You get the idea that it is not a true comeback, hence "attempt" and you get the point across that Holmes is a bit of an enigma. And no weirdness to be found.

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