The Manchester United orgy
And people say soccer is boring.
Imagine if Manny Ramirez invited Daisuke Matsuzaka and Hideki Okajima over to his mansion for an all-night romp with a bunch of prostitutes that involved everyone walking around in the nude, group sex, spanking and more. And then one of the girls called up Bob Ryan and gave him every imaginable detail. And then the Boston Globe put it on the front page.
Well, the equivalent of that just happened in England, where Cristiano Ronaldo - arguably the best player on earth - welcomed new teammates Nani and Anderson to Manchester United by treating them to an orgy with the call girls of McKenzies Escort agency based in Leeds (you can google their website yourself).
And lest some of you question the authenticity of the story of a bunch of working girls, or for that matter, The Sun, these ladies took some pics with their cellies. And Juliana Baltrusch, one of the girls, gave a tell-all exclusive to The Mirror, which includes bits like this:
"Before I knew it I was kissing Ronaldo and my hands were wandering all over his body. I was in heaven and you could tell he was turned on.
"Yasmina and Hollie were bumping and grinding with each other and rubbing themselves against the men."
""He led me back inside the main house, pulling off my soaking wet bra and pants on the way.
"By this time everyone had paired off into different rooms but it wasn't exactly a private thing - people kept walking into rooms to watch what the others were doing.
"Me and Ronaldo's friend had sex in one of the bedrooms. When we finished 20 minutes later, we walked next door to find Hollie and Yasmina having a foursome with Nani and Anderson. Everyone seemed to be watching."
"Afterwards we went back upstairs and accidentally walked in on Ronaldo. He was lying there completely naked next to Hannah. They had finished and I thought, 'Oh my God, what an incredibly well-built man...in every sense!'"
I guess this is what footballers do when they get suspended for a few games.
