December 9, 2007
Tebow Wins Heisman. God Pleased.
The Lord's reaction to Tim Tebow's Heisman win last night? Pure joy. And some relief. Said the Lord:
"It was a long campaign, but it is nice to see that my effort and focus on all things Tim Tebow wasn't for naught."
On criticism that the focus on Tebow meant neglecting actual problems in the world:
"Look, kids are always going to get cancer. The Arabs will always hate the Jews. The developed world will pollute the environment beyond recognition. But all of that pales in comparison to Tebow's needs. It's all about Tim Tebow."
On what is next for his chosen one:
"Another Heisman, I hope. And then 10 consecutive NFL MVP awards, each time ending with a reminder that me, God, has made it all possible for him. Tebow. Because you are not."
