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Today we have a guest contribution from serious writer / Swamp superstar Brontoburglar.

What the fuck Dayton Moore?

What. The. Fuck?

You know, trading Ramon Ramirez for Coco Crisp wasn’t bad. You got a great defensive centerfielder who *can* hit leadoff–but not very well–and steal some bases for a middle reliever who had a very good season last year. Well done.

An everyday first baseman for Leo Nunez is a pretty good deal too, but then you realize that the everyday first baseman was Mike Jacobs, and it doesn’t look so good, especially when Jacobs is due a raise in arbitration.

You lose out in the Rafael Furcal sweepstakes, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing considering his injury history and his age.

So you go sign Horacio Ramirez for like $2 million in the hopes that he can be a starter even though he hasn’t been a good starter since Tony Pena was believing and you go pay Kyle Farnsworth $9 million over two seasons.

Oh, and you paid Willie Bumquist $3 million for two years.

Again, WTF?

So I’m starting over. And I have a feeling that I could do a much better job than Dayton Moore did.

Those transactions cost the Royals $17 million. Subtract Ramirez’s and Nunez’s contracts from that and I’m left with $16 million to spend to make over the Royals.

My first order of business would be to sign Bobby Abreu to a 1 year, $10 million deal. Yeah, that’s a big chunk of change, but Abreu’s worth it, helps DeJesus in CF, and turns Mark Teahen into a supersub capable of playing LF, RF, 3B and 1B.

Second, I’d sign Ray Durham to a 1 year $1 million deal. Durham was better than Mark Grudzielanek was last year, and there’s no reason to assume that he will suddenly fall off a cliff offensively, and would at least match Grudz’s defensive production.

Lastly, I’d go a bit over the Royals current payroll and sign Jason Giambi to a two year $12 million deal. The deal exceeds the max value of the contract that Giambi signed in Oakland, and has a guaranteed second year, leaving the lineup to look like this:

CF David DeJesus
SS Mike Aviles
RF Bobby Abreu
DH Jason Giambi
LF Jose Guillen
3B Alex Gordon
1B Billy Butler
C Miguel Olivo
2B Ray Durham

Based on 2008 numbers, that lineup averages 5.317 runs per game, which would have been second in 2008 behind Texas. Granted, the lineup would go lefty-lefty at three and four, but Ryan Shealy would be a useful righthanded bat off of the bench.

I’d keep the pitching staff the same, expecting similar production from the staff, and hopefully a bounce back year from Brian Bannister.

SP Meche
SP Greinke
SP Davies
SP Hochevar
SP Bannister

CP Soria
RP Ramirez
RP Nunez
RP Mahay
RP Tejeda
RP Bale

Last year’s staff allowed 781 runs, but I think that a 750 run season is very possible with a full season of the end of last year’s Kyle Davies, and an improved Hochevar and Bannister.

So with a lineup that scores 861 runs, and a staff that gives up 750, the Pythagorean production for my 2009 Royals is .563, which is essentially a 91 win season, enough to win the AL Central in 2008, and probably 2009.

Anyone want to hire me?

Delaware Note:  I honestly feel bad for Bronto and other Royals fans.  Moore isn’t a complete screw-up like Bavasi or someone like that so there’s a good chance he’ll keep his job for quite a few more years.  What sucks is that every time he makes a solid move, he cancels it out and then some with 1.5 bad ones.  I mean, seriously, Willie Bloomquist on a multi-year deal?  The Meche deal can only forgive so much.