It is almost certain Artest will not spend any more time in jail, however. Ten days of the sentence were stayed by the judge and Artest can apply to serve the other 10 days in a work release or similar program. Artest was credited with one day of jail time for the time he was incarcerated after his arrest.
The above is breaking news from the Sacramento Bee. What kind of name is that for a paper anyway?
"Hey new guy, who are you," asks a rather beefy and heavily tattooed non-basketball fan.
"I'm Ron Artest, I'm a bad mother"
"Shut your mouth," interrupts the cell block C sissy, in falsetto.
As Artest checks out his surroundings, his new home for 20 days, beefy, tattooed guy asks, "So Ron, what makes you a bad mofo? What's you're rep? What have you done? How have you earned respect?"
Ron replies, "I am here for smacking my wife around. Bitch backed talked me so I boxed her out and threw some bows."
"We don't like wife-beaters in here, Fish," says beefy guy.
"Well I also had this rumble in Detroit once," replied Artest nervously.
The cell grew quiet as the scum of Sacramento waited anxiously for more information. "I was laying on the scorer's table," Ron continued, "and some guy threw a beer at me."
"Yeah those bottles can hurt," said some facially scarred individual.
"It was a plastic cup," answered Ron. The miscreants raised their eyebrows. "I was pissed. That fan challenged my manhood. So I went into the stands and put a beating on the guy."
"Did you fuck him up bad?," asked a shaking, jonesing crack addict.
"I didn't damage him at all. In fact it was the wrong guy. I let two poorly paid security guards pull me off," Ron answered.
"You aren't doing too well with us here Ron," said beefy guy. "Is there anything else you have done that would garner our respect?" ( I also doubt the usage of the word garner in the prison vocabulary, just go with it)
"I am also a rapper," said inmate Artest.
"No shit, I like rap," said one Ron's new friends. "Why not lay some lyrics on us?"
"Ok," said Ron, sweating like a Sidney Ponson in a sauna," here are some."
"I admit I used to smoke before games."
"Hit the liquor store at halftime."
"David Stern! Damn, David Stern. I gotta teach you bout the ghetto there's some things you should learn."
"Matt Lauer, up on NBC. You look like a girl don't talk to me."
"Hey Ron," said big beefy guy as he puts his arm around Ron's shoulder, "do you like gladiator movies?"