The Sports Frog

• After the shaky way he performed again last night, Yankees' starter Phil Hughes is officially on the clock now.

• The bad news keeps coming for the Yankees. Alex Rodriguez has been placed on the disabled list. He has a Grade 2 quadriceps strain. And now we are left to wonder exactly how many grades their are.

• The Hardball Times is calling for the head of John Gibbons. Of course the back up their opinion with trends and statistics unlike most websites.

"This year, with a groundswell calling for his head, I find myself defending the man. As you no doubt are aware, the Blue Jays' clutch numbers reveal that they are clutching both their bats and their throats far too firmly."

• SI ranked the ballparks. And Cleveland comes in first.

• New York Rangers forward Sean Avery was rushed to a Manhattan hospital on Wednesday morning in cardiac arrest just hours after his team's playoff loss, the New York Daily News reported, citing unnamed sources.

• John Smoltz, who dominated the National League as a closer for 3½ years, is willing to return to the Atlanta Braves' bullpen when he comes off the disabled list, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

Smoltz, who was placed on the 15-day DL on Tuesday with inflammation in his right rotator cuff and biceps tendon, said "Yes" when asked about becoming the Braves' closer again, the newspaper reported.

• In their first 47 years in existence, the Angels had one pitcher who went 5-0 in April: Frank Tanana, in 1978.

They could have two this year. Joe Saunders finished his April at 5-0 on Tuesday, and Ervin Santana could do the same tonight.

• Detroit Tigers left-hander Dontrelle Willis was placed on the 15-day disabled list Saturday after an MRI confirmed that he has a hyperextended right knee.

The fact that he couldn't hit the side of a barn with a baseball (5 innings, 9 walks) had absolutely nothing to do with this trip to the DL.

• Scott Spezio is given his walking papers again. Told to pack his shit and take his ridiculous facial hair with him, this just may be the last we hear of Spezio, regarding baseball that is.

"We had an agreement with Scott," GM Frank Wren said. "There were three things we asked him to do: No. 1 is to continue his aftercare, which included testing, No. 2, that he attend AA [meetings] and No. 3 he would show up at the park every day ready to play. And yesterday he was not ready to play." I am guessing hangover, but that's just my guess.

• The Washington Nationals are learning things the hard way, at tax payer expense. When you put shit on the field, people will not come out to the ballpark.

• The Arizona Diamondbacks keep knocking around NL West foes, with the kid leading the way.

Justin Upton went 3-for-3 with four RBIs, including a three-run home run, to power the Diamondbacks to their eighth consecutive victory Saturday, a 10-3 romp over the Colorado Rockies .

The 20-year-old outfielder, the first overall pick in the 2005 draft, boosted his average to .415, including five home runs with 10 RBIs.

• The biggest day in the football off-season will be here Tuesday. With baited breath I impatiently await.......... drumroll please................

Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones will again ask NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to reinstate him, with his agent planning to send in his latest request on Tuesday.

Strippers throughout the country are making financial plans based upon this outcome.

• From Buster Onley:

The Florida Marlins are 7-3 despite a starters' ERA of 6.98. That's the highest ERA for any team that won at least seven of its first 10 games in any season.

David Ortiz has not driven in a run in his last 25 at-bats.

Carl Crawford became only the eighth player since 1900 to accumulate 1,000 hits and 250 stolen bases at his age (26 years, eight months).

• If they came to Tropicana Field on Saturday night to see the major-league debut of third baseman Evan Longoria, they weren't disappointed. The kid from Long Beach State had his first big-league hit, drove in a run and fielded his position well

• Jeff Francoeur felt he owed John Smoltz for failing to back Atlanta's ace with clutch hitting in 2007. He just didn't think he'd do it all in one game.

Francoeur had two home runs and a career-high seven RBIs as the Atlanta Braves handed the Washington Nationals their ninth straight loss, 10-2 on Saturday.

Well Jeff you owe me too. I paid $14 for you last season in the MABL and I won't say I am bitter but two homers and seven ribbies was a good week for you last year.

• The Minnesota Twins recalled left-hander Francisco Liriano on Friday, and he's expected to make his first start after missing all of last season because of elbow surgery Sunday against the Kansas City Royals.

• The new Yankee Stadium may be cursed!

A devilish Boston fan working on a concrete crew at the $1.3 billion stadium covertly buried a Red Sox T-shirt under what will become the visiting team's locker room to jinx the Yanks, two construction workers told The Post yesterday.

Next week when the Boston fan vanishes from the face of the earth, he will also be buried in some concrete.

• Looks like Billy Beane finally lost a game of chicken. I can only imagine he was holding on to Rich Harden to get maximum value for him sometime in July, provided Harden could stay healthy until then.

For the sixth time in less than four seasons Athletics starting pitcher Rich Harden has landed on the disabled list. Oakland placed the hard-throwing right-hander on the 15-day DL retroactive to April 3 with a mild subscapularis strain in his right shoulder.

That's a muscle used to move the rotator cuff. Paging Dr. Jobe. Dr. Frank Jobe.

• Here's a nice piece about Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff. Here are additional players that where hurt by the strike of 1994:

Fred McGriff. The strike interrupted his best season and he lost the seven home runs he needed to reach 500.

Matt Williams and Ken Griffey, Jr. Both Williams with 43 home runs and Griffey with 40 had a chance to reach 61 four years before McGwire.

Harold Baines. Baines gets a special mention because he lost time to both the 1981 and 1994 strikes. If we include the shortened 1995 season, Baines' teams cancelled a total of 114 games. Baines finished his career 134 hits short of 3,000; there's an outside chance he would have reached that milestone without the stoppages.

Tony Gwynn. Gwynn's .394 average - the highest since Ted Williams' .406 in 1941 - fails to receive much credit due to the shortened 1994 season. Maybe Gwynn hits .400 in a full schedule, maybe he doesn't. The effort would be more memorable had we found out.

Barry Bonds. (Like we really care at this point) If Barry Bonds doesn't play again he'll finish 65 hits short of 3,000. The 65 games he lost in 1994 and 1995 might have made the difference.

Randy Johnson. Let's wait and see if he falls short of 300 wins. He lost at least a dozen starts due to the strike.

The Cleveland Indians. The long-suffering Indians were one game behind Chicago when the strike ended their best season (in terms of winning percentage) since 1955.

The Montreal Expos. At least the Indians rebounded and rolled out five straight division titles after the strike. The Expos never seemed to recover, failing to make the playoffs for the remainder of their history in Montreal.

• Something wicked brewing in St. Pete? On Monday night, during the Tampa Bay Rays' home opener, Matt Garza pulled himself from the game in the 3rd inning with an injury to the radial nerve in this throwing arm. Following the game, Garza was placed on the 15-day DL. He will rest the arm for two weeks and then be reevaluated. He will be out a minimum of four weeks.

According to Garza, this is a problem that he has experienced since his time with the Minnesota Twins.

Garza said it surfaced late last season, with him typically "pitching through it." But after his hand started going numb, forcing him to lose grip on his pitches, he signaled to the dugout for help..."This time it was just real bad," Garza said. "I knew something was up."

• Three days after winning the NCAA championship, Kansas coach Bill Self said no thanks to Oklahoma State, his alma mater, and agreed to a lucrative contract extension that could keep him at Kansas for the rest of his career.

Good for Self for not dragging this out, but let's see if the last four words of the above paragraph really do come true. I have a twenty that says, nyet.

• The Indians, facing the possible loss of left-hander C.C. Sabathia as a free agent after the season, are set to lock up their next potential ace long-term.

Right-hander Fausto Carmona, continuing the wave of young players signing multi-year deals, has agreed to a four-year, $15 million contract.

The deal includes three option years that could push the total value of the package to $47.25 million. The option years would cover Carmona's final year of arbitration and first two years of free agency.

This is what makes Cleveland different from most small-medium market teams. Instead of waiting around for the revenue sharing check ala, the Marlins or Twins, they are proactive with their own players. Would a deal like this have worked with Johan Santana three years ago?

Who knows, I can't ever recall it being offered.

• Baseball players and owners plan to turn most of the authority over testing for performance-enhancing drugs to the program's independent administrator while keeping oversight over drugs of abuse with a joint union-management body.

The sides established a third-party administrator when they amended their drug plan for the second time in November 2005, and they split authority between the administrator and baseball's Health Policy Advisory Committee, which has two members from each side.

I consider myself an educated man, but I cannot understand those two paragraphs. I do not think most players will be able understand it either.

Here's an idea. Publish a fucking list of shit not to take. I want a complete list too. I don't want to see someone suspended for taking asthma medication. I want it to be clear and simple so I don't have to call my father, who's a pharmacist, to get an understanding of the compound of a specific prescription medication that has now cost a guy on my fantasy team a suspension.

• After careful consideration George Steinbrenner decided that neither of his son's are very capable. Or he is finally teaching them how to share their toys.

Hal and Hank Steinbrenner were made co-chairpersons of the New York Yankees on Thursday by their father, owner George Steinbrenner.

George Steinbrenner, who has controlled the team since 1973, is chairperson, essentially the same as his previous title of chairman. The sons took over supervision of the team's daily operations last year.

• Finally, there is some golf thing going on. It is being held at a place that has historically discriminated against Jews, African-Americans, Women and guys that say the greens have been bikini-waxed. And people are protesting the Olympics.

• Jeter has earned a monument at new Yankee Stadium.

Additionally, Supermodels around the world are collecting money (from their food allowance) to have Derek's dick bronzed and placed in the fashion district.

• From the Library of Congress here is Branch Rickey's scouting report on Don Drysdale. It is also a reminder about how much typewriters sucked.

• It could not be an complete football off-season without a Chris Henry arrest. Tuesday Pedro goes down, yesterday Chris Henry gets arrested, what next another Rocky film?

Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry is in trouble again, accused by an 18-year-old man who told police that Henry hit him in the face and broke his car window with a beer bottle.

• Break up the Naionals. Undefeated. Tim Redding took a one-hitter into the eighth inning and Ryan Zimmerman hit a solo homer to help the Nationals stay unbeaten with a 1-0 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies on Wednesday night.

Tim Fucking Redding. The Phillies should be hanging their heads in shame. Redding doesn't even start for Tim Redding's fantasy team.

• Memphis senior reserve guard Andre Allen has been suspended for violating team rules, leaving him out of the Final Four. What did he do? Turn down money from a booster? Not polish coaches car perfectly. Suspended from Memphis? You have to be Chris Henry-like to accomplish that.

• Sweet Lou. The kid from Tampa just likes to tinker with things. Cubs manager Lou Piniella's lack of patience is well known.

But Derrek Lee had to laugh out loud when he found out after Wednesday's 8-2 loss to Milwaukee that Alfonso Soriano was heading back to the leadoff spot only two games into the season.

"It's surprising a little bit, but I guess it shouldn't [be]," Lee said. "Lou likes to shuffle it around."

• LETS PLAY TWO. or LET'S PLAY TWO. The second one is correct, but that didn't stop a sculptor from placng the first one on Ernie Banks bronze statue. And now for the next 100 years let it be known as the curse of the apostrophe.

• Sometimes it seems as though baseball players are stealing money when they get their paychecks. Yes, Mr Pavano I am talking about you. But when was the last time you heard about a player wanting to give back his check for being the black hole of suck?

We would have to go back 30 years and the player would be named Lyman Bostock.

He started the year 2-for-39 and announced that he wanted to give back his paychecks to the Angels -- give them personally to owner Gene Autry -- until he started to produce.

Autry refused, so Bostock gave his first two checks to charity. This covered the month of April, when he batted .147.

• I have heard that repeated steroid usage can make your nuts much smaller. To prove this theory Major League Baseball investigators cornered Jose Canseco on Wednesday -- in a bathroom. That's Bud's boys, all class.

• Some things about Spring are predictable. April showers... rainouts.... some phenom that won't amount to shit.... and Pedro going down like a crack whore.

Pedro Martínez, who left before reporters were permitted in the clubhouse, told Manager Willie Randolph that he felt a "little twinge or a pop" in the back of his leg after throwing his 57th pitch of the night to Matt Treanor. He is scheduled to fly to New York on Wednesday morning to have a magnetic resonance imaging exam and be evaluated by Dr. David Altchek, the team's medical director.

• Hey kids, would you like to add some bloody gauze or used syringes to your baseball memorablia collection. The whore that is Brian McNamee is putting up all his Roger Clemen's collectibles for sale.

• Moises Alou let's Bartman off the hook. "I wouldn't have been able to catch the ball, I woud have pulled a hamstring." Ok he didn't say that, but odds are....

Alou, now with the Mets, said he wouldn't have caught the now-infamous pop foul in the 2003 National League Championship Series that hit the heel of Bartman's hand in the eighth inning of Game 6, prolonging an inning in which the Marlins later rallied for the lead.

• Pays by the Rays. The Rays did as expected Tuesday in picking up OF Carl Crawford's 2009 option for $8.25-million and declining OF Rocco Baldelli's $6-million option by giving him a $4-million buyout and making him a free agent after the season, but what was unexpected was a three-year, $10.5-million contract for reliever Dan Wheeler with an option for 2011.

• The New York Knicks will turn their basketball operations over to Donnie Walsh on Wednesday. Good news? Perhaps.. read on....

Walsh, the longtime Indiana Pacers executive, will replace Isiah Thomas as president. Thomas is also the Knicks' coach.

Thomas' future remains unclear (unclear as the swamps in the Meadowlands). He has repeatedly said he expects to be with the Knicks next season, but that likely will be up to Walsh -- who hired Thomas to coach the Pacers in 2000.

So does Isiah go? He destroyed a franchise. Destroyed a league (CBA). Grabbed some expensive ass and made Red Holtzman spin in his grave like a food processor.

• Bob Kraft. Sorry we got caught cheating, glad we won.

• Dr Z weighs in with some Onion like reporting from the owners meetings. I also would take an expense paid trip to the Breakers to cover the meetings if we had that kind of cash in the Frog coffers.

" The issue of a defensive team calling time out to distract a team in the process of kicking a field goal was tabled. Designated tables include mahogany, maple and cherrywood."

• With a bag of salt.... With the words "Feed The Children" written across his black T-shirt, NFL outcast Adam "Pacman" Jones stood outside the church doors, passing out almost 500 boxes of food and toiletries to the people who know him best.

• Miracle Max has signed a one day contract with the New York Yankees. The Yankees are ready to add a touch of Hollywood to their roster, announcing their plans to sign actor and comedian Billy Crystal to a one-day contract during Spring Training.

Crystal will sign the contract and work out with the Yankees at Legends Field on Wednesday, before playing in the club's game on against the Pirates on Thursday. Commissioner Bud Selig approved the Yankees' extension of a contract to Crystal.

• No Pie for 3-5 days. Seems as though he twisted his nuts. Perhaps he needs advice from teammate Carlos Zambrano on the proper technique of emailing one's brother.

Pie is suffering from what's called testicular torsion, or, in layman's terms, a twisted testicle

• To ensure that they will have the most ping pong balls for the next draft, Dwayne Wade will miss the remainder of the season so he can further rehabilitate his surgically repaired left knee, which has bothered him for about a year.

• Lawyers for a former St. Louis Rams player and three fans plan to withdraw a lawsuit that accuses the New England Patriots of cheating in the 2002 Super Bowl.

In court papers filed Monday, the plaintiffs' attorneys say they sued last month in an attempt to secure sworn testimony from former Patriots employee Matt Walsh, who allegedly taped a walkthrough practice by the Rams before New England's Super Bowl win.

• You can go home again. Dunn has returned to the Bucs and Trent Green has gone back to the Rams. Perhaps Alzado will go back to the Raiders soon too.

• Jordan Tata has not had a good spring for the Tigers. In his first outing of the spring, he allowed four earned runs to Florida Southern College. In his second, he surrendered three to the Tampa Bay Rays. In his third, Friday against Atlanta, he had the bases empty and two out before walking the next two batters. And then it just gets worse.

Tata walked off the field and headed for the clubhouse. And as he entered the locker room, he did something he now regrets.

He hit the door with his pitching hand -- and broke a knuckle in his little finger. Does baseball administer the Wonderlic?

• The Texas Rangers' season doesn't start for another month, but on Sunday the team's staff was assembling a roster of a different sort. They were looking for the girls next door - who just happen to throw a mean fastball. (Yes there is video, you horny bastards)

Twenty female athletes, many current or former high school and college softball players, were vying to become one of six Rangers "ball girls" for the upcoming baseball season.

I would have thought the Rangers has enough problems with pitching on their own major league roster without trying to evaluate and additional hurlers.

• In the dance of 64 and a half so far. San Diego, Davidson, Burnt Siena & George Mason.

• China's Liu Xiang received the gold medal for the 60 meter hurdles on two occasions Sunday after a mix-up over the national anthem.

A bemused Liu was the model of stoicism in the initial ceremony as organizers inadvertently played Chile's national anthem instead of the Chinese. Well at least it was alphabetical.

• Those wacky soccer hooligans. Italian referee Mauro Bergonzi was sent into hiding by police after thugs tried to attack someone he looked like, the head of the country's referees' association has said.

Bergonzi awarded two contentious penalties in Napoli's 3-1 win over Juventus in October.

• Once again we have another shining example of the average mentality of Red Sawx nation. A group of men -- some with Irish accents -- beat up a 23-year-old Cambridge man and sent him to the hospital after they spotted him sporting a Yankees baseball cap.

• Noah Lowry walked nine of the first 12 hitters he faced Monday in the San Francisco Giants' 6-4 loss to the Texas Rangers in 10 innings.

Lowry threw 24 pitches before a Texas hitter took a swing. He went through the order once without an official at-bat--along with the walks, Ben Broussard and David Murphy hit sacrifice flies. Steve Blass could not be reached for comment.

• It is truly a happy day for St. Louis Cardinals fans. For the first time since 1960, there won't be a Buck in a Cardinals broadcast booth this year.

Joe Buck, who had been doing the play-by-play for a few Redbirds games on FSN Midwest in recent seasons, has decided not to return in order to enjoy himself at the ballpark in a nonworking capacity.

It should have said "he has decided not to return so fans could enjoy the broadcasts."

• Over at the Hardball Times they have worked up a nice article about the 10 worst lead-off hitters of the past 50 years. Horace Clarke made the list. The Yankee teams of my youth really did suck.

• Bobby Knight knew when to get the fuck out of dodge. Or Lubbock. The record for the most lopsided loss in Texas Tech history stood for less than a week.

Russell Robinson scored 15 points and No. 5 Kansas played everybody wearing a uniform in a 109-51 thrashing of the Red Raiders on Monday night. The 58-point margin topped the 44-point pounding at Texas A&M last Wednesday that had gone into the record book as Tech's worst loss ever.

And what did the Red Raiders do in between historic setbacks? They beat then-No. 5 Texas 83-80, halting the Longhorns' eight-game winning streak.

• Warrick is done. And the hilarity of the Atlanta front office contniues. Rather than exploring a trade for even a second day pick, Warrick Dunn was released by the Atlanta Falcons on Monday, one day after the club signed free agent running back Michael Turner.

• Leyland says he's 'not going to force' Inge to catch. Could be a new movie. Brokeback Tigers.

• From Buster Onley: Kyle Lohse's contract demands, which stood at five years and something in the range of $10 million a year at the outset of the offseason, are down to one year, and something higher than $4 million and less than $10 million a year. He is still unsigned, and has been told by multiple teams this spring that they have no interest.

LOL. Another win for Scott Boras.

• Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane told a crowd of baseball fans Monday that it was "unfortunate" Congress chose to have hearings on the use of steroids in baseball.

"There possibly could have been some other things for Congress to focus on in our nation," McLane said.

Of course no one on the Astro's ever took any PEDs. Like McLane gives a shit. He should just stick to stocking convienence stores and giving away tractors.

• Reggie Bush failed to show up for a scheduled deposition on Monday, the latest twist in the civil lawsuit against the former Heisman Trophy winner who allegedly accepted cash and gifts from sports marketers during his sophomore and junior seasons at Southern California.

"He literally ran from his deposition," said Brian Watkins, the attorney for sports marketer Lloyd Lake, who is suing Bush. And he ran 23 yards, but most of it sideways, gaining only 6 yards total.

• Peter King: " I actually saw the scouting combine Sunday afternoon for the first time in my life" now that's coverage. To write about football for years and never attend a combine. You can just sit at home, in your mother's basement and watch games and then write about it. But you make things up and have no sources. (Channeling my inner Tony Kornheiser)

• As if they don't get paid enough already. All players who travel to Tokyo for the season-opening series between Oakland and Boston will receive $40,000, according to Major League Baseball officials, and that figure could rise depending on how much revenue the event creates. Because the two big-league games have sold out, it's likely that the players each will get at least an additional $5,000.

There had been rumblings that the Red Sox players had held out for more, and there was some concern in the Oakland clubhouse that Boston's participants might wind up with a bigger payout than the A's.

• The Hardball Times, always a solid read, with shit loads of graphs and stats that will provide masterbation material for a few of you (you know who you are) has an article up on the best pitch in baseball.

"Is it Johan Santana's changeup or Jon Papelbon's four-seamer? Maybe Fausto Carmona's wicked sinker or Mariano Rivera's mythical cutter? Smoltz's slider is right there and Josh Beckett's curveball has to be in the discussion, right? So, who has the very best pitch in the game?"

• Larry Walker talks about the steriod era. He does make some excellent points, but he seems to forget he played in Coors BH. (Before Humidor)

"Gee, I might go into the Hall of Fame now," Walker said he joked. "There's nobody left from when I retired. I'm the only one that year who didn't get busted."

• Sam Cassell acknowledged Monday that he is seeking a buyout of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers, "My ship is arriving soon to take me back to my home planet. I need to get the hell out of here."

• Your latest NFL arrrest? Let's say its a lineman not known for mental stability. Of course it happened in South Beach.

Bryant McKinnie was charged with aggravated battery and disorderly conduct and resisting arrest without violence after a street brawl outside Club Space early Sunday morning.

Miami police found McKinnie "in the middle of a large crowd, throwing punches and again yelling obscenities," according to the police report.

Sounds like normal lineman behavior actually.

• The neck beard still lives. Figuring that Rex Grossman wasn't quite enough to lose the Bears have extended Kyle Orton. The Chicago Bears and quarterback Kyle Orton agreed Monday on a one-year contract extension that runs through the 2009 season, setting up a competition between him and Rex Grossman.

• The powers that be in Chicago have decided that the Bears have absolutely no chance to compete this season. To that end, quarterback Rex Grossman signed a one-year contract Saturday with the Chicago Bears and will compete for the starting job.

• Now we have another reason to never attend a Marlins game. In a continued effort to keep fans away from the park, good old Mr. Art Dealer decided that trading away his two stars wasn't quite enough.

The Florida Marlins are looking for some footloose fat men.

The National League team is creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. Tryouts were scheduled for Sunday.

A Manatee is a sea cow that are very peaceful, gentle creatures. Whales would be a better moniker for these guys.

• Manny being Manny has now lead to being represented by Scott Boras. Goold luck with that Theo.

• Oops.... Looks like Rocket Roger has mis-remembered.

Roger Clemens may be backpedaling on his long-time stance that he never attended a 1998 party at Jose Canseco's house.

In the wake of the Daily News' report Friday that a photograph exists of Clemens posing with a young man at Canseco's Florida home - a photo said to have been taken on June 9, 1998 - the Rocket's attorney issued a statement that seems to suggest Clemens may have attended the party after all.

• Memphis wanted to prove it really was the best team in the country, maybe even make a run at perfection.

Turns out, the Tigers aren't even best in their own state. They just aren't paying them like the used to in Memphis.

• There was a big NCAA game yesterday by two teams that never get much press. Drake ranked #18, after being picked to finish ninth in their conference, beat #8 ranked Butler. So there you go, now they have some press. That is if we can call ourselves press. I would say I gave them some ink, but that's not it either. But hey they made the Nighty Cap.

• The Eagles have gained some ground in the off season arrest standings.

Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Mike Patterson has been charged with marijuana possession after a police officer found a small amount of the drug in his car after a minor accident. There is no exact proof that he copped the dope from either of Coah Reid's sons.

• I watched Michael Clayton tonight. Save yourself the two hours. It was a mix of Network and the Pelican Brief but without any of the good parts.

• Over the past two years Brad Lidge usually leaves a game after a towering homerun. Today was different. Phillies closer Brad Lidge caught a spike in the mound on his first pitch of batting practice Saturday and hurt the same knee he had surgery on in October. Reminds me of when Farnsworth broke his foot warming up in the bullpen.

• Arbitration; def - in baseball even if you lose you win. This time Ryan Howard won and won big time.

Ryan Howard has won his salary arbitration hearing against the Phillies, a baseball source told The Inquirer this morning. He will make $10 million this season.The Phillies had offered $7 million.

• After declaring in no uncertain terms that he has never used any type of performance-enhancing drug, A-Rod said he had been tested "nine or 10 times" last season. OOPS.....

"My quote from earlier today was taken literally," Rodriguez said. "I was not tested nine or 10 times last year. I was just using exaggeration to make a point.

Perhaps he is also mistaken about opting out which only cost the Yankees over 20mm of the Rangers money. Or perhaps like we all always thought, the guy is just a dick.

• Moises Alou may play until he's 45 and when you play about 85 games a season I can see how that can happen. This guy is more fragile than Ryan Leaf's ego.

• Derek Jeter arrived at his 16th Yankees spring training yesterday labeled the worst shortstop in the majors by some statistical braniacs over at Penn.

"Maybe it was a computer glitch," the three-time Gold Glove winner said of the report.

• The Houston Astros signed right-hander Shawn Chacon to a one-year deal worth $2 million plus incentives, general manager Ed Wade announced on Wednesday. So let's review... bad pitcher in a hitters park.... over/under on ERA. Let's say about 5.73

• Detroit Tigers slugger Gary Sheffield calls his former agent a "bad person" and says Scott Boras is trying to get money he doesn't deserve. Sheff went on to say that Boras is also a doo-doo head.

• Miami beat Duke for the first time in 45 years.

Then again there was a 14 year period that Miami didn't even have a basketball team. So isn't it a little odd that once you are armed with that information the whole 45 year thing doesn't seem as impressive.

• Juan not gone. The man who turned down what would have been the worst free agent contract in history is trying to battle back to the majors. I guess it took two years to get a clean urine.

The Cardinals sought a righthanded bat on a budget. Juan Gonzalez wanted a second or third chance, depending on who's counting.

• Nevada sports books lost a record $2.6 million on Super Bowl bets when the New York Giants upset the New England Patriots on Sunday.

The sports books handled just more than $92 million on the game, the third-highest amount ever but down for the second consecutive year. Poor bastards.

• We have a Rudy Guliani sighting. After showing what a rat he is he now makes an appearance in next years Topps cards. When Topps baseball cards hit the stores this week it'll appear that way. About one in every 70 packs will include a picture of the former New York City mayor, fist raised in victory, celebrating with the Red Sox on the field after their World Series win.

Next thing you know Hillary will change from being a Cubs fan to a Yankee fan.

• Now they can afford to build the new Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter settled his case with tax officials, who had said the New York Yankees captain should have paid three years of taxes as a New York state resident.

A state official confirmed the settlement, which was first reported in Tuesday's New York Daily News. The official was not authorized to comment publicly and spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity. Terms were not disclosed.

• Bill James has a new book and a new website coming out. I know at least two VORP guys already wanking in anticipation. Until then you will have to settle for this interview with The Hardball Times.

• The Mighty MJD takes on the racist tone of the salesgenie Super Bowl ads.

" If I ever encounter a genie, I hope it doesn't turn out to be this racist. If it is, though, I'm going to rub the magic lamp, a genie's going to pop out of it and say, "Hello, sir! You've found a magic genie. I can offer you three wishes, but one of them will have to be the subjugation of Asian-Americans and 100 free sales leads." I hate genies like that."

• Jim Mora reached a five-year agreement Tuesday that will allow him to transition into the head coaching job with the Seattle Seahawks once Mike Holmgren retires after the season, a source close to Mora told ESPN.com.

• No longer confident they can win a championship with their current roster, the Phoenix Suns are close to completing a blockbuster trade that will bring them Shaquille O'Neal, a source with knowledge of the negotiations said Tuesday.

O'Neal is scheduled to travel to Phoenix aboard a private plane Wednesday, the source said, to undergo an MRI on his ailing left hip. If he passes the physical, the Suns will complete the trade by sending Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks to the Miami Heat.

• Albert Pujols, angry his name was incorrectly linked to the Mitchell report on steroids last month, banned a St. Louis television station from participating in a news conference Monday.

Pujols asked Cardinals media relations director Brian Bartow to make a reporter and cameraman from St. Louis Fox affiliate KTVI leave the room where Pujols' news conference was taking place on the final day of the Cardinals' winter warmup.

• Looks like Derek Jeter has some competition in NYC for the top of the line trim. New York Met David Wright and model girlfriend Molly Beers attended the Ford Supermodel of the World show Wednesday night at Terminal 5 in Manhattan.

• Just when we all thought that Phil Mickelson had gotten over his choking problem we get this report. Phil Mickelson's start to the 2008 golf season was in doubt on Monday when his doctor directed him to stay in bed for two days for a respiratory problem.

• And now we take a moment to pause and enjoy the absurdity of Peter King's thought for the week. "I wonder if all the welcome mats in the United States are manufactured in Wisconsin." This guy makes Larry King look like Einstein.

• Two Utah football players stabbed during a street fight last weekend were recovering Monday.

Defensive linemen Paul Kruger and Greg Newman, were both stabbed in the stomach after leaving a house party late Saturday night. Kruger underwent surgery, and released a statement on Monday saying his condition was improving.

• Memphis replaced North Carolina as the No. 1 team in college basketball Monday, the Tigers' first appearance in 25 years at the top of The Associated Press poll.

Kansas, the nation's only other undefeated Division I men's team, moved up to No. 2 while the Tar Heels dropped to fifth after their loss to Maryland. Drake and Baylor were two new entries to the rankings, joining the Top 25 for the first time in a long time.
Memphis' only other appearance at No. 1 was as short as possible - a one-week stint in 1983.

"I have always said, if you pay your players well enough you can have a great college team," Coach Calipari stated.

• Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers needed surgery to get his right knee through the AFC Championship Game, and now needs a more extensive operation to repair a torn ligament in the same knee. His rehab could last six months. No one is ever going to question this guy's toughness. Sanity maybe. Is Billy Volek really that bad?

• Before Neon Deion, before Bo knew anything, before Danny Ainge realized he couldn't hit major league pitching, there was Gene Conely. "He struck out Teddy Ballgame in the All-Star Game, broke Billy Martin's jaw in a brawl, and, nursing a hangover, held Wilt Chamberlain to fewer than 20 points."

• I don't know about you guys but I haven't heard shit from Tiki Barber today.

• Johnny Podres, who pitched the Brooklyn Dodgers to their only World Series title in 1955, died Sunday at the age of 75.

• A long-time baseball fan is suing the New York Yankees over some players' reported use of performance-enhancing drugs, saying he wants repayment for 221 US dollars (£112) in tickets and a public response from his once-beloved team.

"I look at it almost as consumer fraud," said Matthew Mitchell, 30, a Brooklyn resident who said he went to his first game at Yankee Stadium in 1984. "If I'm going to watch a baseball game, then I expect it to be the real thing." Getthefuckouttahere.

• The IAAF ruled Monday that double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius is ineligible to compete in the Beijing Olympics because his prosthetic racing legs give him a clear competitive advantage.

I am sure this was all part of his plan. Let's see if I cut off my legs the can rebuild me, they have the technology..... Better, stronger, faster.

• And finally the Patriots lose. Well, someone that is. Tom Dimitroff was hired as general manager of the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, leaving his job as director of scouting for the unbeaten New England Patriots.

Dimitroff, who has been with the Patriots since 2002, will direct the Falcons' football operations, including working with a new head coach on draft decisions, free agency, trades and other personnel decisions.

• One thing TO knows for sure, his current QB is not gay. But yesterday's game did make him cry. Terrell Owens' bottom lip was quivering, his voice wavering.

While his teary eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses, he couldn't hide his disappointment -- or his loyalty to quarterback Tony Romo -- after the Cowboys' 21-17 playoff loss to the New York Giants on Sunday.

"This is not about Tony. You guys can point the finger at him, you can talk about the vacation, and if you do that, it's really unfair," Owens said, his voice choked with emotion. "It's really unfair. That's my teammate. That's my quarterback. You guys do that, it's not fair. We lost as a team. We lost as a team, man."

• In the draft; Slaton, Darren McFadden (until he changes his mind again, regardless of his Dad's new Escalade), Arkansas junior running back Felix Jones.

• Lebron was racing down the lane. LeBron James was ticketed by the State Highway Patrol for driving 101 mph on an interstate highway.

The Cleveland Cavaliers star was cited in a 65 mph zone on Interstate 71 near Medina at 2:43 a.m. on Dec. 30 -- his 23rd birthday.

I guess Lebron never heard of Bobby Phills.

• Yet another birthday has come and gone for myself and I keep wondering when that maturity is going to set in. Though it is snowing outside the Hot Stove is aflame.

• Cubs say Fuku to Mark Prior. The best college pitcher since Tom Seaver with wonderful mechanics turned out to be an injury prone, never was. I was very critical of the Twins in passing on Prior with the first pick because they were, as always, cheap. Turns out a semi-injury prone catcher who can hit was a better selection.

• Meanwhile Fukudome is a Cub. If only Harry was still alive. It is pronounced Fookedome~ but to me he will known as Fuck you dome. He got a four-year, $48 million contract which works out to be about 87 yen with the exchange rate.

• Aaron Rowand wanted some long-term stability, and so did the San Francisco Giants.

Rowand agreed to a $60 million, five-year contract with the Giants on Wednesday, giving the club a Gold Glove center fielder without having to trade young pitchers Matt Cain or Tim Lincecum. At the age of 30, Rowand is about 8 years too young to be a Giants outfielder, but the team is seeking a waiver from the league.

• Here are a few guys that aren't tender. Cubs pitcher Mark Prior, Rangers reliever Akinori Otsuka, Astros shortstop Adam Everett and Mets catcher Johnny Estrada were among 43 players non-tendered by their clubs by Wednesday's midnight deadline, according to a filing obtained by SI.com.

• Falcons feel betrayed by Petrino. Players unhappy with coach's sudden departure.

Coward. Quitter. Hypocrite. And those were some of the nicer things the Atlanta Falcons had to say about their former coach on Wednesday. This from a team that can't even draw family members to watch their own games.

Betrayed and football sounds familar to me. Sounds like The Birdcage.

Armand: Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!

Albert: How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered...

Now the Falcons have something in common with drag queens besides their play on the field.

• The Orioles finally trade Miggy Tejada. Following their axiom of the past twenty years the Orioles bought high and sold low. As Tejada's range at shortstop has regressed from poor to statuesque the Orioles decided to pull the trigger at a time when the felt it would be impossible to get less.

But they traded with Ed Wade who always has given away too much for too little. What a unique synergy. Perhaps the two franchises can field one joint team this year.

• Tomorrow may be the darkest day in baseball history. A multi-million dollar report comprised of statements from non-players will finger those who allegedly used PED. Perhaps the should wear a big red S on the uniforms the rest of the career. ESPN will be giving it wall to wall coverage from Noon on and even King Bud is slated for a press conference.

• It's a game of chicken and it appears that both the Yankees and Red Sawx are blinking.

The Red Sox yesterday did an about-face and decided to include outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury in a package for the premier pitcher. Previously, the Red Sox had declared both Ellsbury and pitching prospect Clay Buchholz off-limits in trade talks.

That, however, was before the New York Yankees -- the Red Sox' chief rival on the field and in these negotiations -- reluctantly agreed to include top pitching prospect Phillip Hughes in their offer to the Twins.

The Yankees either will reach an agreement with the Twins sometime Monday on a trade for Johan Santana or pull their offer from the table, senior vice president Hank Steinbrenner said Sunday night.

If the Twins had only negotiated their stadium deal this well. As it is with Pohland still owning the team, whoever wins the Santana derby can buy back their players as they become too expensive.

• I always hate to be Yankee-centric, but hey they are in the news. Andy Pettitte, who contemplated retirement this winter, has told his good friends, a few former Astros teammates and some current Yankees teammates that he will return to the Bronx for the 2008 season.

• If I were a kicker I would rather try a 36 yarder to win the game rather than a 51 yarder. But how in the world do you get the ball moved 15 yards in your favor? Just play against Coach Gibbs. Gibbs called consecutive timeouts while trying to ice Buffalo kicker Rian Lindell with 4 seconds remaining. That prompted a 15-yard penalty -- back-to-back timeouts are illegal -- and Lindell made a 36-yarder for the win. Somewhere Chris Webber is smiling.

But that's not all the Gibbs news that's fit to print. Gregg Williams excited his players Saturday night by deciding to leave Sean Taylor's free safety spot vacant and let his defense start its first series with just 10 men on the field. Trouble is, the Redskins assistant head coach-defense didn't get his signals straight with coach Joe Gibbs, who said after the game he didn't know of the plan. I hate to say it, but it looks like Coach Gibbs has been lapped a few times this season.

• Karl Dorrell is expected to be out as UCLA coach as early as Monday, a person close to the situation told ESPN's Joe Schad on Sunday.

A short list of candidates has been assembled, sources familiar with the athletic department told The Los Angeles Times on Sunday.

Defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker could be considered for the potential opening, according to Schad. Walker is also a candidate for the Washington State opening.

• Ohio State is No. 1, LSU is No. 2, and Virginia Tech, Oklahoma and Georgia and Ed Zipper are just numb. I have never liked Ohio State even as a kid. A buckeye... That's just fucking nuts. But let's get to the facts. Ohio State played Youngstown State, Akron and Kent State, at home, by choice.

If you combine the best players from the three small schools they still shouldn't have any business on the "#1 team's" schedule. Is two losses to quality opponents better than three cupcake wins. In reality yes, in BCS land no. College is allegedly a place of learning. All I have learned from this season is that Greed is Good. Shame on you BCS. LSU by 17.

• The Padres, taking a chance on a pitcher coming off shoulder surgery, have reached a preliminary agreement with free-agent left-hander Randy Wolf on a one-year contract, according to major-league sources. I have always thought that Wolf has been underrated his whole career. While not an all-star he is a solid competitor that keeps his team in games. He should have a good year considering half his home games will be played in a canyon.

• Things Peter King thinks that none of us will understand:

Leon Washington. Joe Washington. Same guy. If you're 45 or older, you see that.

Miami's going winless. (He sure goes out on a limb here)

LaDainian Tomlinson is looking a lot like LaDainian Tomlinson again.

Tarvaris Jackson spent his second straight game looking like a first-string quarterback.

When I watch the Bills, I feel like I'm watching a bunch of guys who would play football for free.

Where did Roddy White come from? Ten more catches yesterday in St. Louis. Nice player

Things worked out for the BCS. Ohio State-LSU is the game I want to see for the marbles.

Coffeenerdness: My daughter Mary Beth informs me that The Barge, the campus coffeehouse at Colgate University and her employer, has shipped out two pounds of Colgate Blend to a South Dakota man, based on my review of the black gold in a recent column. You won't regret it, sir. That's a strong, delicious cup of Green Mountain coffee.

People I couldn't write football stuff that stupid if I was on the staff at the Onion. I do not have words to describe how inept and out of touch Fatty McButterPants is with the sport he allegedly covers. And I refuse to link to his drivel. I refuse to even show him that amount of respect.

• Forget speculation and the opinion of columnists. When you want to know something about someone it usually pays to talk to someone who has known the person since he was 8 years old.

Still in disbelief of his childhood friend's shooting death, Arizona Cardinals cornerback Antrel Rolle vowed Wednesday to make sure Sean Taylor is remembered.

He added he did not believe the killing was part of a burglary gone sour, and that Taylor had many enemies on the streets of Miami.

• The Twins needed a big bat. They really haven't had one since they decided David Ortiz wasn't worth the money. So they went and got one. Too bad this one seems to have a ten cent head.

The Minnesota Twins weren't worried about Delmon Young's troubled past. They wanted his bat, and they wanted it badly.

Young was traded by Tampa Bay to Minnesota on Wednesday night as part of a six-layer deal that sent right-hander Matt Garza to the Rays.

Aaron Gleeman a Twins blogger who now also writes for rotoworld and NBC Sports breaks the deal down here.

Fortunately there is plenty for a young black man to do in the Twin Cities. It's not like there has been a long history between the police there and black athletes.

• Kenny Rogers and Randy Johnson revisited. Arizona kicker Neil Rackers has apologized for striking an NFL Films video camera with his helmet as he left the field following the Cardinals' 37-31 overtime loss to San Francisco last Sunday. Maybe Rackers is a lefty.

• There's a football game tonight that 97% of America won't see. I will not attend a local tavern just out of protest. To me this game is like the sales on Black Friday. Stupid people tricks. Jump through the hoop and get a treat. Well fuck that. I have Hi-Def and surround sound at home for a reason. My current cable bill is around $200 a month and no matter what I do I cannot see this game. Of course most of Canada will be able to view the game from the comfort of their homes.

John Clayton breaks it all down right here.

• The stadium that should have never been built (we used to refer to it as the Empty Dome) the slovenly, spartan dome residing on top of the old St. Pete gas plant may be replaced. The site of the current stadium is located in possibly the worst spot in the Tampa Bay area and yet again ownership has chosen to ignore geography.

The Tampa Bay Rays this afternoon revealed a bold plan for a new waterfront baseball stadium at one end of a dramatically transformed St. Petersburg downtown.

The Rays' plans call for a $450-million, open-air, 34,000-seat stadium to open in 2012 at the current site of Al Lang Field. On the other end of downtown at Tropicana Field, the team proposes a massive retail and residential development.

"We're talking about a major-league downtown," Rays principal owner Stuart Sternberg said during a meeting with the St. Petersburg Times editorial board, where he previewed the concept.

Unless things have changed dramatically in the 11 years since I moved from the area, downtown St. Pete was not even minor league, nor even a downtown. A small area harboring shuffleboard courts and expensive homes in low lying areas that flood more often than an Elijah Dukes outburst, that is the downtown St. Pete I remember.

And one more thing. I know that even if downtown has changed it still rains every single day in the spring and summer around 4:30pm and Florida is kind of hot and just slightly humid. Good luck with the open air fellas. What's next for baseball? Open the season in Cleveland with Seattle making its one trip a year there?

• Injuries sustained by Cleveland Indians reliever Juan Lara in a weekend car accident make it too dangerous to move him to the United States for treatment, a team spokesman said Wednesday.

The 26-year-old left-hander, who remains hospitalized in critical condition, suffered a fractured spine, severe brain trauma, two broken ribs and a punctured lung in the crash Saturday night.

• One of the most financially successful men in history is A-Rod's secret advisor. Warren Buffett advised Alex Rodriguez to approach the New York Yankees and go around agent Scott Boras, The Wall Street Journal reported Saturday.

At least A-Rod can afford a share of Berkshire Hathaway now trading at $136,475.00

• Forget 40-40. The new hot number is 20-20. Tim Tebow became the first player in NCAA history with at least 20 touchdowns passing and rushing in the same season.

• Example 4,137,964 of why Nick Saban is the suck. Alabama's fans were subdued to start Saturday's game. They seemed restless to shove little Louisiana-Monroe aside and get on to Auburn.

You know, the matchup that really defines a season for the Crimson Tide.

This might just have become that game for Nick Saban's reeling team -- a stunning 21-14 upset to the 24 1/2-point underdogs from the Sun Belt Conference.

• Momma Jeter stands up for her son. "He pays his taxes," Dorothy Jeter told the Daily News.

"My boy does everything right - everything right," she said at her New Jersey home. "He's paid taxes in New York for every doggone day he's been there."

Take that New York State. Momma Jeter says you can kiss her ass. And Derek's too.

• Free agent Kris Benson is expected to throw for team executives and scouts in Arizona about a week after the winter meetings, says his agent, Gregg Clifton. I wouldn't even go watch this guy throw if his wife was standing there topless. And knowing her, that just may be the case.

• Is 3B in Ryan Braun's future? If so, he has a lot of homework to do.

It is possible that Braun, who became a third baseman mostly after he turned pro, will learn to adequately play the position. Ned Yost has requested that he take 1,000 ground balls a day during the off-season, a drill that Braun will soon begin in California. Mets third baseman David Wright became a passable defender, so, yes it is possible

• Dallas Clark yes. Marvin, probably not. Westbrook, questionable as usual, which means just about 200 yards a game. Shaun Alexander will not play for the Seattle Seahawks until he's healthy enough to practice full time.

• The turmoil that is Derek Jeter's life... Which supermodel should he date or should it be Miss Universe? What should he do with all his money? Where should he live?

His residency has become an issue with the state of New York. They say Derek lived in NY for a few years and they want their millions. Derek says he lives in Florida, which by state constitution has no state income tax.

"Jeter has owned an apartment in Trump World Tower in New York City since October 2001. As part of its assertion of the player's New York residency, the New York State Division of Taxation and Finance noted that Jeter has personal items that are "near and dear" in this apartment."

What can be considered near and dear to a multi-millionaire? Also Derek being the wily cat he is bought his apartment just a month after 9/11 when I am sure prices were slightly depressed.

• Just a personal observation as my company has taken up residence in a local mall for the holiday season. During the daytime hours I cannot begin to describe the miscreants wandering through the mall. Darwin was wrong. But I think Pavlov was right. Time to drool.

• Unlucky #2. Oregon is the the fifth No. 2 team to go down to an unranked opponent in seven weeks, and none of the previous four (USC, California, South Florida, Boston College) went down as hard.

• Jake Peavy has been one of the best pitchers in the National League for years. This season, he pulled away from the pack.

The San Diego Padres ace was an unanimous winner of the NL Cy Young Award on Thursday after leading the league in wins, ERA and strikeouts -- pitching's version of a Triple Crown.

So why isn't the pitching Triple Crown covered with even 1/10th the hype the batting Triple Crown gets? Isn't it as great of an achievement? Or is it that chicks still dig the long ball?

• Trent Dilfer to the rescue. After Alex Smith and 49ers coach Mike Nolan reached a temporary peace in their spat about the quarterback's injured arm, Trent Dilfer capped his first day as San Francisco's new starter by getting in a fight with a rookie defensive back in practice.

I bet some guys like Shaun King are sitting around wondering why they retired too early.

• C.C. is Cy Young. If there were any lingering debate about whether C.C. Sabathia has arrived among baseball's elite pitchers, his new Cy Young Award should end it.

• Fukudome is a free agent. And this may turn out well for the team that signs him because they don't have to pay the blackmail, I mean posting fee, to his Japanese team. Fukudome. Let's just say it one more time. Fukudome. Here is a list and ranking of all 144 free agents.

• Mariano Rivera was offered a $45 million, three-year contract to stay with the New York Yankees. Now, the team is waiting to hear back from its star closer.

"He'd be by $4 million a year the highest-paid relief pitcher," Yankees senior vice president Hank Steinbrenner said Tuesday. "To say that's a strong offer would be an understatement."

Hank doesn't sound to bright. I don't think we will be holding a set for him at the next Mensa meeting.

• Stephon Marbury has left the New York Knicks and there is no word on when, or even if, he might rejoin the team. He took his $14.95 shoes and went home? Did Isiah try to kiss him? Did Isiah's hand linger just a bit too long when he patted his butt?

• Houston Texans offensive lineman Fred Weary on Tuesday sued the city and two police officers for an arrest in which he was shot with a Taser gun during a traffic stop.

• The Bills are trying to do everything they can to make sure the Patriots have a perfect season. Quarterback J.P. Losman was named the starter for Buffalo's game against unbeaten New England on Sunday.

• Here is the hot scoop from the Miami Dolphins. They haven't decided who will play QB for them this weekend. I know I can't as I will be busy, but it could be just about anyone else.

• More troubling than Peyton throwing for 6 ints? The Indianapolis Colts already expect Dwight Freeney not to play for several weeks because of a left foot injury, but now there's reason to believe the Pro Bowl defensive end's season might be over.

• It appears that no Boston team can lose a single game. The Celts are now 6-0.

• As the new NBA gets going, I think it is time to brush up on your Charles Bakley quotes.

"To Kenny Smith: "Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!"

"You're the boss, Ernie. The white guy's always the boss."

""I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."

• Chris Henry is back at practice. Both kinds of practice. Practicing football and practicing being a moronic asshole.
Receiver Chris Henry was allegedly involved in an altercation with a parking attendant on the eve of rejoining the Cincinnati Bengals from his eight-game suspension.

Henry practiced with the Bengals on Wednesday and will be eligible to play Sunday in Baltimore. Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him for the first half of the season for repeatedly violating the NFL's conduct policy.

• Continuing their philosophy of ninth inning cliff hangers, (See Joe Table, Mitch Williams, Tom Gordon, et al.) the Phils traded for Brad Lidge. Of course the dose allow the Phils to move Brett Myers back to the rotation, which is where he shoud be. Philly Phans, stock up on some Tums, it will be an interesting season.

• Keith Law a former special assistant to the GM for the Blue Jays and super geek for ESPN.com Insider does not like the trade. Here are the direct quotes:

"Ed Wade's reputation as a GM in Philadelphia was as a man who overvalued relief pitching, but in his first deal as the Houston GM, he gave away one of the better relievers in the National League for three spare parts. "

"It's interesting that Wade thought this was the best he could get for Lidge, or he felt using Lidge (perhaps their most tradeable commodity, with one year left until free agency) to fill their center-field role was a good strategy. The closers on the free agent market are all worse than Lidge; only Francisco Cordero is close, and he'll probably get a four-year deal. There had to be other teams interested in Lidge, and by acting quickly and dealing with his former club to acquire three players drafted while he was the Phillies' GM, it looks like Wade completely misread the market for relievers. At the same time he put filling a specific hole ahead of maximizing his return on one of his best assets. It's an inauspicious beginning to his tenure in Houston."

So either Wade knows a lot about these three guys he drafted or Keith Law is correct and the best thing the Phils have one lately is let Wade go to the Astros and then make him a trading partner. Don't ever fall in love with your own draft picks.

• Tennis on the front page? WTF?

The International Tennis Federation is investigating allegations that Tommy Haas was poisoned before Germany's Davis Cup match against Russia.

German teammate Alexander Waske said he was told by a Russian who manages numerous athletes that it was poisoning, not a virus. Waske didn't say who the manager was.

Obviously the Davis Cup is of much greater importance outside the USA. Now the question is, do the tanks start lining up along the Fulda Gap again?

• He won't go home again. Mike Lowell, a former Yankee farmhand, return to the Red Sox appears inevitable, and Yankees general manager Brian Cashman is resigned to the fact that Alex Rodriguez's replacement will have to come via the trade market.

Lowell, the 2007 World Series Most Valuable Player, could re-sign with the Red Sox before Tuesday, when free agents can begin negotiating with other clubs.

• Donovan McNabb has always been an enigma to me. From being heavily booed the day he was drafted to his latest comments. So what if the losses aren't his fault. Hasn't he always wanted to be the LEADER? Perhaps he is just basically insecure and suffers from not only premature baldness but also an identity crisis.

"Donovan McNabb doesn't miss blocks or run wrong routes, and he can't be held responsible for the defense allowing points.

"I'm definitely not the whole reason why we lost these games," McNabb said Wednesday. "Can I help? Yes, I can. But I'm not fully to blame for everything that goes on around here."

Thank you Captain Obvious. Now you have thrown the entire team under the bus. I am only amazed he didn't blame Coach Reid's sons as an additional distraction. Have some Chunky soup and shut the fuck up.

• I hope you can find the underlying humor in this article.

Jonathan Babineaux expressed relief Wednesday after he was cleared of a felony animal cruelty charge that could have sent the Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle to prison.

"I'm just happy the whole situation is over with," Babineaux said. "It's been a long process. I've been waiting it out and it's finally over."

Gwinnett County District Attorney Danny Porter said Wednesday he dismissed the charges following an investigation of the death of a pit bull in February.

McDonough said the dog had been neutered, placed on Prozac, sent to a dog trainer and kept on a leash.

• Dr Z does his preliminary bust review. We are talking HOF busts here. Those bronze things.

Nothing like getting a phone call from an old coach -- "You want me to ever talk to you again?

• With Grady Little out of the way in L.A., Joe Torre is the Dodgers' first choice to take over the club. According to sources Torre has agreed in principle to a three-year deal worth $14.5 million and could be introduced tomorrow, the same day the Yankees are holding a press conference to welcome Joe Girardi, Torre's successor, at Yankee Stadium.

• After stealing a football team in the middle of the night the Irsay family is still trying to find their way to weasel into heaven.

Indianapolis Colts fans have a chance to win a piece of the team's Super Bowl victory -- a Super Bowl ring -- through a charity raffle team owner Jim Irsay announced Tuesday during a pep rally for Sunday's game against New England.

During my one brief meeting with Coach Bill Walsh my friend asked him if he was wearing a Super Bowl ring. Walsh told us that the Super Bowl Ring was too gaudy and usually only worn by the groudskeeper, he was wearing a Hall of Fame ring.

• Mr. Me has decided that there are only 13 teams worthy of his 41 year old pitching prowess next year. Fortunately the Yankees aren't on the list.

• Hank sounds a lot like George. Here are some similar quotes from both, twenty years apart.

"I'm fed up with his attitude. He ought to realize that his lack of hitting lately has killed us."

Hank Steinbrenner talking about the going-going Alex Rodriguez, right?

Try vintage George, June 1985.

The target of his blustery wrath: Don Mattingly, who had dared carp about off-day workouts.

• Dr Z. has a list of complaints. His pet peeve? The QB rating system.

"Steve Young, who has the highest career passer rating in history, admits that he's "not quite sure how the system works."

The irony here is that Young, a broadcaster and a lawyer cannot figure out how the system works. I am sure some Eucildean theories are highly involved.

• Reason #1,467,312 that Scott Boras is a cock.

"At 9:32 there was a voice mail from Scott Boras to call him. He wanted to give me a heads up on something, was the message," Cashman said Tuesday. "And then at 9:42 was a text message saying he was opting out."

• Cornerback Darrell Green and receivers Cris Carter and Herman Moore were among 124 modern-era players, coaches, and contributors on the preliminary list of nominees for the Pro Football Hall of Fames Class of 2008.

• The loss of Michael Vick is starting to affect the Atlanta Falcons at the ticket booth.

The team announced Tuesday that some 3,000 tickets are still available for Sunday's game against the San Francisco 49ers, endangering a streak of 56 consecutive sellouts at the 70,000-seat Georgia Dome.

Maybe being a team of suck at 1-6 has something to do with this. I bet Petrino misses Louisville.

• I thought sports gambling was illegal in this country outside of Vegas. The World Series wager, with a bit of smack....

The first brushback pitch of the World Series came not from Josh Beckett or Jeff Francis, but from Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick.


"I like you and I like Denver, but you're going down, you do know that don't you?" Patrick told Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter Tuesday, during a conference call to set the traditional World Series wager between governors.

Patrick is putting up lobsters and ice cream vs. beef from Ritter. The Colorado Rockies and Boston Red Sox open the Series Wednesday at Fenway Park.

• The 1972 Dolphins speak out and lets just say they aren't happy.Some of the highlights.

"Pathetic,'' Hall of Fame linebacker Nick Buoniconti said of the Dolphins' personnel mistakes. ''Trent Green is starting to shape up as a pretty good move, huh?'' he said, sarcasm dripping. ``And Jason Allen has really fulfilled expectations.''

''You know what I'm shocked about?'' Nick Buoniconti said. ``How the Patriots make all the right decisions and how the Dolphins make all the wrong decisions. The whole offseason was pathetic. The Dolphins get . . . Joey Porter, who's got a big mouth and never delivers."

Former Dolphins running back Jim Kiick called these Dolphins the worst team he has ever seen. ''Embarrassing to the franchise,'' he said. ``We feel for the current players. It hurts. [But] I couldn't believe how bad they were. The defensive backfield is terrible. They're at least three or four years from [contending].''

• Now with Ronnie Brown out the rumour mill has Ricky Williams going back to the Dolphins. Apparently Lawrence Phillips was busy doing time somewhere.

• The Colorado Rockies sold out all three World Series games at Coors Field on Tuesday, one day after their first attempt collapsed in a computer-system crash blamed on people trying to fool the system to hoard tickets.

Teams are so cute when they are that naive. How many examples does a multi-million dollar organization need before the begin to realize that some 16yo in his parents basement can find a security exploit. Or Scottie really wanted to see countryman Jeff Francis pitch.

• First he loses Halley Berry and now he loses his house. David, don't go to Vegas anytime soon.

• Some thoughts while sitting in a Chicago hotel room while my wife attends a conference. Last night we had dinner at Fogo De Chao. If you have never been and you love meat you must go. Truly a unique dinning experience and I will not have any other food for 3 days.

• As we all know Cleveland is a hotbed for country music. Don't pay attention to the fact that the Rock and Roll all of Fame is there, they love their twangy geetars and vapid lyrics about life in the trailer park.

So last night that had themselves one of these female country singers perform the national anthem. Turns out she was a replacement for the original vocalist. Also turns out she used to get naked with Red Sox starter Josh Beckett.

"It's an incredible coincidence," said Bob DiBiasio, Cleveland vice president/ public relations, who chose Peck, an Ohio native. "How would we know? My G-d, I can't keep up with some of our own single men. How am I supposed to know about the other team's?"

• Authorities are investigating allegations that Sacramento Kings player Justin Williams sexually assaulted a female acquaintance, a Sacramento Police Department spokesman said Thursday.

• The Buffalo Bills intend to play a few games in Canada, eh?

That's the plan after the Bills, on Thursday, announced they are seeking approval to play a preseason and at least one regular-season game in Toronto as part of the franchise's attempt to expand its market base beyond western New York.

I do not believe that this would have happened 5 years ago. But now that the Canadian dollar is about equal to the US Dollar it makes sense. That Canadian economy is super strong. That has to be the reason.

• Please adjust your fantasy rosters. Denver Broncos wide receiver Javon Walker needs another surgery on his right knee, the one he tore up in the 2005 opener for Green Bay that caused him to miss the entire season.

• Trey Hillman is expected to be named manager of the Kansas City Royals on Friday, after some details are finalized. Hillman would've been among the candidates considered by the New York Yankees, as they begin their search for a replacement for Joe Torre.

Would have been considered my ass. I didn't even know who this guy was. Darn the Yankees missed out on another Stump Merrill. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

• The Patriots are behaving in an un-American fashion.

The New England Patriots have won a bid to get the names of all the fans who bought or sold -- or tried to buy or sell -- tickets to home games through online ticket reseller StubHub Inc., a move one technology group sees as an invasion of privacy.

In a lawsuit against San Francisco-based StubHub, a subsidiary of eBay Inc., claiming that the Web site encourages fans to break state law and violate team policies, the Patriots said they could seek to revoke season tickets of people who use StubHub.

Sounds like a regime to me. Anyway Brady will soon have enough kids to fill the stadium.

• Does Cabernet go with dog fighting or is it Pinot Noir?

Wachovia Bank is seeking about $940,000 from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick and a business partner.

The bank claims that since Vick's indictment on federal dogfighting charges, they defaulted on a 2006 loan to set up a wine shop and restaurant.

• Chris Chambers has become a more viable fantasy option. In an effort to make sure they finish 0-16 the Phins have traded their best WR to the Chargers for only a second round pick in next year's draft.

"This will help us get worse even faster, which has been our goal this season, said an anonymous source in the Miami front office. "Chambers was playing too well this season, we asked him to try and play worse, but he refused to listen to "Coach?" Cameron.

• In some good news from the NFL front. Injured Buffalo Bills player Kevin Everett has been able to walk to some extent as part of his rehabilitation after suffering a severe spinal cord injury during the team's season opener.

• Dan Shaughnessy has thrown in the towel on the Sawx this season.

Fe