The Sports Frog

• So a lot has gone on in the past few days, which has kept our focus off of sports.

Yesterday's traffic in the Swamp was probably the highest post count ever. But let us now focus on what is truly important, games that men play and their ability to shower naked with each other when the game is over.

• Hey Starbury try not to get any splinters in your ass while riding the pine. The New York Knicks have no plans to do anything with Stephon Marbury, except pay him his $21.9 million salary and give him a great seat to watch all their games. It's great work if you can get it.

• Two of CC Sabathia's agents, Greg Genske and Brian Peters - Scott Parker also works with LS Legacy Sports Group - said that the Yankees were one of several teams with whom they met yesterday. Meanwhile in a surprising move the Yankees declined the options on Giambi and Pavano. And Starbury LOLs.

• Chris Carpenter's long road back encountered another hairpin curve Tuesday when the Cardinals' ace and 2005 NL Cy Young Award winner required surgery to relocate a nerve near his surgically repaired right elbow. When this guy is healthy he is fantastic, but if he played 20 years ago his career would already be over.

• Daunte Culpepper passed his physical and signed with the Detroit Lions on Tuesday -- and could be ready to play Sunday against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

• Last week, there were rumors floating around that Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho Cinco had stashed Barack Obama signs in the end zone for use in touchdown celebrations in Cincinnati's Week 8 game against the Texans. Too bad he didn't actually get in the end zone.

• This is a very weird story. And I say no thanks, you can foot the bill, we have other issues. Tokyo fears Obama strengthens Chicago Olympic bid.

• Pete Carroll insists he doesn't understand how the BCS system works. He understands enough to know he doesn't like it one bit.

"I think it stinks. I don't think it's the way it should be," Carroll said concerning how college football crowns its champion. "But all we can do is keep talking about it."

• Al Davis spent big in the offseason on cornerback DeAngelo Hall and wideout Javon Walker. Now he's in cost-cutting mode.

A report in the San Franisco Chronicle Wednesday says the Raiders have waived Hall, meaning the team paid him $8 million for eight games. He was also due $16.5 million next season. Hall led the Raiders with three interceptions but got burned frequently for big gains.
Again Starbury LOLs.

• Jermaine Wiggins isn't promising mixed martial arts stardom, but he does guarantee better success than another former NFL player who made a similar career change.

"I'm not going to pull a Johnnie Morton," Wiggins said in a recent telephone interview.

Morton's first MMA bout was his last. An NFL wide receiver for 12 seasons, Morton was taken out on a stretcher after being knocked out in 38 seconds during his well-publicized June 2007 debut. Obviously not that well-publicized as I had never heard of it. Perhaps someone can find the video.

• It takes a lot of beer to be a fat toad. Twenty in fact.

Former New York Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu was arrested Wednesday for allegedly assaulting a bartender after drinking 20 mugs of beer, a police official said.

Irabu, 39, became angered after his credit card was rejected. He then allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles at a bar in Osaka, western Japan, a police official said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

The bartender sustained no injuries. Irabu paid the bill with another credit card.

If he had only shown that kind of passion on the mound.

• The last winner of the baseball's Triple Crown had a triple bypass.

The greatest living Red Sawx player, New England icon Carl Yastrzemski, underwent emergency triple-bypass surgery yesterday at Massachusetts General Hospital after being diagnosed with coronary artery disease.

• As the pressure was building, as Saturday approached, the fragile coward found a new way to avoid taking the mound. Carl "Paycheck" Pavano has a stiff neck, which may prevent him from pitching on Saturday. Now if we can just break his fingers so he can never endorse another paycheck, now that, would be a worthwhile injury.

• Umpires get instantly pissed.

Umps said their governing board voted Tuesday to boycott a conference call with management intended discuss implementing replay, angry that their concerns aren't being addressed.

• Watch out teenage girls in the Cincy area. Chris Henry is back in town.

Receiver Chris Henry is back with the Cincinnati Bengals because their owner has a soft spot for troubled players.

Henry signed a two-year deal Tuesday with the team that let him go after he was arrested for the fifth time, a decision that seemed to mark a change in philosophy for owner Mike Brown. Instead, it was an aberration. The Bengals took him back at Brown's behest.

Coach Marvin Lewis, who had no interest in bringing back the troubled receiver, said Brown wanted to give Henry yet another chance.

I say bullshit. The only soft spot Mike Brown has is in his frontal lobes. As far as following in his father's footsteps Brown makes Pete Rose, Jr. look like a major league all-star. If Ocho Cinco doesn't go over the middle and give full effort in a pre-season game, thereby separating his shoulder, Chris Henry would still be pounding down 40's and smoking blunts outside the nearest high school.

• Why are wide receivers the whiny little girls of the NFL? About once a week we hear about a wideout, wanting to be traded, not being thrown to, being thrown to over the middle too much, having to block on running plays..... This particular situation may not be indicative of my stereotype, because the coach sounds like anything but a Mensa member.

Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin asked to be traded, saying he doesn't feel his situation can be resolved and declaring he has no relationship with coach Ken Whisenhunt.

"I'm a football player. That's about it," Boldin said Tuesday when asked to characterize his dealings with the coach these days.

A team spokesman said the Cardinals have no plans to trade the sixth-year standout and still hope to sign him to a contract extension.

Whisenhunt sounded puzzled when discussing reports that Boldin had said he was no longer speaking to the coach.

"We've been communicating," he said. "If communicating is talking, that's what we have been doing at practice. As we go forward, I don't know. I don't foresee anything changing. If it does, it's in his court."

• I never knew that terrorists and sunblock creams had anything in common, but apparently it poses a threat at Yankee Stadium. From the NY Post:

Yankee fans are seeing - and turning - red over a ban on sunscreen, which Stadium security guards say was widely expanded in the last few weeks.

Security guards collected garbage bags full of sunblock at the entrances to Yankee Stadium over the sweltering weekend, when temps hit 96 degrees and the UV index reached a skin-scorching 9 out of 10 - a move team officials said was to protect the Stadium from terrorism.

But fans baking in the bleachers and upper deck argued that the sun may be a bigger threat than Osama bin Laden.

"I was really pissed because, since I am Irish and I have a bald head, I need my sunblock," said Sean Gavin, 40, who had to toss his SPF 30 at the gate Saturday.

"After they saw me dousing myself with it, it should have been obvious to them that it was sunblock and not some explosive."

The team contends that sunscreen has long been on the list of stadium contraband, but there is no mention of it on the Yankee Web site.

Four weeks ago, Stadium officials decided that sunscreen of all sizes and varieties would not be permitted, a security supervisor told The Post before last night's game.

• The William Morris Agency bolstered its sports management business Monday by signing Alex Rodriguez as a client. The New York Yankees star and frequent tabloid piñata will continue to use Scott Boras as his baseball agent and Guy Oseary as his manager.

That quote/article was from the Old Gray Lady, The New York Times. I like the phrase "tabloid pinata", but will we hear a backlash about how it was racially insensitive?

• Orioles fuck up # 67,342.

The Orioles and standout right fielder Nick Markakis engaged in negotiations for a contract extension in the past week, but those discussions halted yesterday and likely will not be rekindled until after the season, several baseball sources said.

• Whether they were looking to manufacture an excuse for Oliver Perez or a way to kill time, Keith Hernandez's and Gary Cohen's rant over Cincinnati delaying the start of Saturday night's game was condescending and petty.
The SportsNet New York voices were bent out of shape over Cincy's pregame ceremony, inducting three players (Barry Larkin, Cesar Geronimo, Joey Jay) and an executive (Gary Herrmann) into the Reds Hall of Fame, lasting 11 minutes longer than scheduled.

Hernandez and Cohen contended the ceremony - "elongated" by Larkin's acceptance speech - might have an adverse affect on Perez. They said the pitcher could get cold and tight waiting in the dugout after completing his bullpen warmup.

Funny, they did not express the same level of righteous concern for Reds starter Josh Fogg. He also had to wait longer than usual, right?

The SNY mouths presented a valid point. And yet instead of just making it (they never mentioned the temperature in the ballpark and basically ignored Kevin Burkhardt, who indicated Perez may have altered his warmup routine to compensate for the delay) and letting it go, both Cohen and Hernandez decided it was better to continue cheap-shotting Larkin and blowing the situation out of proportion.

• Jerome Holtzman, who went from copy boy to Hall of Famer in a distinguished career as a Chicago sportswriter, died Saturday after a long illness. He was 81 and was affectionately known to colleagues as "the Dean," a term reflecting his stature as a baseball-writing "lifer" and his numerous accomplishments over four decades.

• Seems that Boston slugger Manny Ramirez was leaving the ballpark, with headphones on trying to look inconspicuous and quickly get away from the crowds still leaving the stadium. He started to cross South Royal Brougham Way, against the signals of a traffic cop who was directing pedestrians. The police officer demanded that Ramirez open his wallet and show identification. He warned him that he could face a $500 fine and possible arrest for disobeying a police officer.

It became clear to those watching that the policeman had no idea who Ramirez was. He didn't ask for an autograph or anything, but did ask Ramirez if he'd attended the game. After the brief lecture, and no argument from Ramirez, the police officer let him go with no further trouble

• After the shaky way he performed again last night, Yankees' starter Phil Hughes is officially on the clock now.

• The bad news keeps coming for the Yankees. Alex Rodriguez has been placed on the disabled list. He has a Grade 2 quadriceps strain. And now we are left to wonder exactly how many grades their are.

• The Hardball Times is calling for the head of John Gibbons. Of course the back up their opinion with trends and statistics unlike most websites.

"This year, with a groundswell calling for his head, I find myself defending the man. As you no doubt are aware, the Blue Jays' clutch numbers reveal that they are clutching both their bats and their throats far too firmly."

• SI ranked the ballparks. And Cleveland comes in first.

• New York Rangers forward Sean Avery was rushed to a Manhattan hospital on Wednesday morning in cardiac arrest just hours after his team's playoff loss, the New York Daily News reported, citing unnamed sources.

• John Smoltz, who dominated the National League as a closer for 3½ years, is willing to return to the Atlanta Braves' bullpen when he comes off the disabled list, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

Smoltz, who was placed on the 15-day DL on Tuesday with inflammation in his right rotator cuff and biceps tendon, said "Yes" when asked about becoming the Braves' closer again, the newspaper reported.

• In their first 47 years in existence, the Angels had one pitcher who went 5-0 in April: Frank Tanana, in 1978.

They could have two this year. Joe Saunders finished his April at 5-0 on Tuesday, and Ervin Santana could do the same tonight.

• Detroit Tigers left-hander Dontrelle Willis was placed on the 15-day disabled list Saturday after an MRI confirmed that he has a hyperextended right knee.

The fact that he couldn't hit the side of a barn with a baseball (5 innings, 9 walks) had absolutely nothing to do with this trip to the DL.

• Scott Spezio is given his walking papers again. Told to pack his shit and take his ridiculous facial hair with him, this just may be the last we hear of Spezio, regarding baseball that is.

"We had an agreement with Scott," GM Frank Wren said. "There were three things we asked him to do: No. 1 is to continue his aftercare, which included testing, No. 2, that he attend AA [meetings] and No. 3 he would show up at the park every day ready to play. And yesterday he was not ready to play." I am guessing hangover, but that's just my guess.

• The Washington Nationals are learning things the hard way, at tax payer expense. When you put shit on the field, people will not come out to the ballpark.

• The Arizona Diamondbacks keep knocking around NL West foes, with the kid leading the way.

Justin Upton went 3-for-3 with four RBIs, including a three-run home run, to power the Diamondbacks to their eighth consecutive victory Saturday, a 10-3 romp over the Colorado Rockies .

The 20-year-old outfielder, the first overall pick in the 2005 draft, boosted his average to .415, including five home runs with 10 RBIs.

• The biggest day in the football off-season will be here Tuesday. With baited breath I impatiently await.......... drumroll please................

Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones will again ask NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to reinstate him, with his agent planning to send in his latest request on Tuesday.

Strippers throughout the country are making financial plans based upon this outcome.

• From Buster Onley:

The Florida Marlins are 7-3 despite a starters' ERA of 6.98. That's the highest ERA for any team that won at least seven of its first 10 games in any season.

David Ortiz has not driven in a run in his last 25 at-bats.

Carl Crawford became only the eighth player since 1900 to accumulate 1,000 hits and 250 stolen bases at his age (26 years, eight months).

• If they came to Tropicana Field on Saturday night to see the major-league debut of third baseman Evan Longoria, they weren't disappointed. The kid from Long Beach State had his first big-league hit, drove in a run and fielded his position well

• Jeff Francoeur felt he owed John Smoltz for failing to back Atlanta's ace with clutch hitting in 2007. He just didn't think he'd do it all in one game.

Francoeur had two home runs and a career-high seven RBIs as the Atlanta Braves handed the Washington Nationals their ninth straight loss, 10-2 on Saturday.

Well Jeff you owe me too. I paid $14 for you last season in the MABL and I won't say I am bitter but two homers and seven ribbies was a good week for you last year.

• The Minnesota Twins recalled left-hander Francisco Liriano on Friday, and he's expected to make his first start after missing all of last season because of elbow surgery Sunday against the Kansas City Royals.

• The new Yankee Stadium may be cursed!

A devilish Boston fan working on a concrete crew at the $1.3 billion stadium covertly buried a Red Sox T-shirt under what will become the visiting team's locker room to jinx the Yanks, two construction workers told The Post yesterday.

Next week when the Boston fan vanishes from the face of the earth, he will also be buried in some concrete.

• Looks like Billy Beane finally lost a game of chicken. I can only imagine he was holding on to Rich Harden to get maximum value for him sometime in July, provided Harden could stay healthy until then.

For the sixth time in less than four seasons Athletics starting pitcher Rich Harden has landed on the disabled list. Oakland placed the hard-throwing right-hander on the 15-day DL retroactive to April 3 with a mild subscapularis strain in his right shoulder.

That's a muscle used to move the rotator cuff. Paging Dr. Jobe. Dr. Frank Jobe.

• Here's a nice piece about Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff. Here are additional players that where hurt by the strike of 1994:

Fred McGriff. The strike interrupted his best season and he lost the seven home runs he needed to reach 500.

Matt Williams and Ken Griffey, Jr. Both Williams with 43 home runs and Griffey with 40 had a chance to reach 61 four years before McGwire.

Harold Baines. Baines gets a special mention because he lost time to both the 1981 and 1994 strikes. If we include the shortened 1995 season, Baines' teams cancelled a total of 114 games. Baines finished his career 134 hits short of 3,000; there's an outside chance he would have reached that milestone without the stoppages.

Tony Gwynn. Gwynn's .394 average - the highest since Ted Williams' .406 in 1941 - fails to receive much credit due to the shortened 1994 season. Maybe Gwynn hits .400 in a full schedule, maybe he doesn't. The effort would be more memorable had we found out.

Barry Bonds. (Like we really care at this point) If Barry Bonds doesn't play again he'll finish 65 hits short of 3,000. The 65 games he lost in 1994 and 1995 might have made the difference.

Randy Johnson. Let's wait and see if he falls short of 300 wins. He lost at least a dozen starts due to the strike.

The Cleveland Indians. The long-suffering Indians were one game behind Chicago when the strike ended their best season (in terms of winning percentage) since 1955.

The Montreal Expos. At least the Indians rebounded and rolled out five straight division titles after the strike. The Expos never seemed to recover, failing to make the playoffs for the remainder of their history in Montreal.

• Something wicked brewing in St. Pete? On Monday night, during the Tampa Bay Rays' home opener, Matt Garza pulled himself from the game in the 3rd inning with an injury to the radial nerve in this throwing arm. Following the game, Garza was placed on the 15-day DL. He will rest the arm for two weeks and then be reevaluated. He will be out a minimum of four weeks.

According to Garza, this is a problem that he has experienced since his time with the Minnesota Twins.

Garza said it surfaced late last season, with him typically "pitching through it." But after his hand started going numb, forcing him to lose grip on his pitches, he signaled to the dugout for help..."This time it was just real bad," Garza said. "I knew something was up."

• Three days after winning the NCAA championship, Kansas coach Bill Self said no thanks to Oklahoma State, his alma mater, and agreed to a lucrative contract extension that could keep him at Kansas for the rest of his career.

Good for Self for not dragging this out, but let's see if the last four words of the above paragraph really do come true. I have a twenty that says, nyet.

• The Indians, facing the possible loss of left-hander C.C. Sabathia as a free agent after the season, are set to lock up their next potential ace long-term.

Right-hander Fausto Carmona, continuing the wave of young players signing multi-year deals, has agreed to a four-year, $15 million contract.

The deal includes three option years that could push the total value of the package to $47.25 million. The option years would cover Carmona's final year of arbitration and first two years of free agency.

This is what makes Cleveland different from most small-medium market teams. Instead of waiting around for the revenue sharing check ala, the Marlins or Twins, they are proactive with their own players. Would a deal like this have worked with Johan Santana three years ago?

Who knows, I can't ever recall it being offered.

• Baseball players and owners plan to turn most of the authority over testing for performance-enhancing drugs to the program's independent administrator while keeping oversight over drugs of abuse with a joint union-management body.

The sides established a third-party administrator when they amended their drug plan for the second time in November 2005, and they split authority between the administrator and baseball's Health Policy Advisory Committee, which has two members from each side.

I consider myself an educated man, but I cannot understand those two paragraphs. I do not think most players will be able understand it either.

Here's an idea. Publish a fucking list of shit not to take. I want a complete list too. I don't want to see someone suspended for taking asthma medication. I want it to be clear and simple so I don't have to call my father, who's a pharmacist, to get an understanding of the compound of a specific prescription medication that has now cost a guy on my fantasy team a suspension.

• After careful consideration George Steinbrenner decided that neither of his son's are very capable. Or he is finally teaching them how to share their toys.

Hal and Hank Steinbrenner were made co-chairpersons of the New York Yankees on Thursday by their father, owner George Steinbrenner.

George Steinbrenner, who has controlled the team since 1973, is chairperson, essentially the same as his previous title of chairman. The sons took over supervision of the team's daily operations last year.

• Finally, there is some golf thing going on. It is being held at a place that has historically discriminated against Jews, African-Americans, Women and guys that say the greens have been bikini-waxed. And people are protesting the Olympics.

• Jeter has earned a monument at new Yankee Stadium.

Additionally, Supermodels around the world are collecting money (from their food allowance) to have Derek's dick bronzed and placed in the fashion district.

• From the Library of Congress here is Branch Rickey's scouting report on Don Drysdale. It is also a reminder about how much typewriters sucked.

• It could not be an complete football off-season without a Chris Henry arrest. Tuesday Pedro goes down, yesterday Chris Henry gets arrested, what next another Rocky film?

Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry is in trouble again, accused by an 18-year-old man who told police that Henry hit him in the face and broke his car window with a beer bottle.

• Break up the Naionals. Undefeated. Tim Redding took a one-hitter into the eighth inning and Ryan Zimmerman hit a solo homer to help the Nationals stay unbeaten with a 1-0 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies on Wednesday night.

Tim Fucking Redding. The Phillies should be hanging their heads in shame. Redding doesn't even start for Tim Redding's fantasy team.

• Memphis senior reserve guard Andre Allen has been suspended for violating team rules, leaving him out of the Final Four. What did he do? Turn down money from a booster? Not polish coaches car perfectly. Suspended from Memphis? You have to be Chris Henry-like to accomplish that.

• Sweet Lou. The kid from Tampa just likes to tinker with things. Cubs manager Lou Piniella's lack of patience is well known.

But Derrek Lee had to laugh out loud when he found out after Wednesday's 8-2 loss to Milwaukee that Alfonso Soriano was heading back to the leadoff spot only two games into the season.

"It's surprising a little bit, but I guess it shouldn't [be]," Lee said. "Lou likes to shuffle it around."

• LETS PLAY TWO. or LET'S PLAY TWO. The second one is correct, but that didn't stop a sculptor from placng the first one on Ernie Banks bronze statue. And now for the next 100 years let it be known as the curse of the apostrophe.

• Sometimes it seems as though baseball players are stealing money when they get their paychecks. Yes, Mr Pavano I am talking about you. But when was the last time you heard about a player wanting to give back his check for being the black hole of suck?

We would have to go back 30 years and the player would be named Lyman Bostock.

He started the year 2-for-39 and announced that he wanted to give back his paychecks to the Angels -- give them personally to owner Gene Autry -- until he started to produce.

Autry refused, so Bostock gave his first two checks to charity. This covered the month of April, when he batted .147.

• I have heard that repeated steroid usage can make your nuts much smaller. To prove this theory Major League Baseball investigators cornered Jose Canseco on Wednesday -- in a bathroom. That's Bud's boys, all class.

• Some things about Spring are predictable. April showers... rainouts.... some phenom that won't amount to shit.... and Pedro going down like a crack whore.

Pedro Martínez, who left before reporters were permitted in the clubhouse, told Manager Willie Randolph that he felt a "little twinge or a pop" in the back of his leg after throwing his 57th pitch of the night to Matt Treanor. He is scheduled to fly to New York on Wednesday morning to have a magnetic resonance imaging exam and be evaluated by Dr. David Altchek, the team's medical director.

• Hey kids, would you like to add some bloody gauze or used syringes to your baseball memorablia collection. The whore that is Brian McNamee is putting up all his Roger Clemen's collectibles for sale.

• Moises Alou let's Bartman off the hook. "I wouldn't have been able to catch the ball, I woud have pulled a hamstring." Ok he didn't say that, but odds are....

Alou, now with the Mets, said he wouldn't have caught the now-infamous pop foul in the 2003 National League Championship Series that hit the heel of Bartman's hand in the eighth inning of Game 6, prolonging an inning in which the Marlins later rallied for the lead.

• Pays by the Rays. The Rays did as expected Tuesday in picking up OF Carl Crawford's 2009 option for $8.25-million and declining OF Rocco Baldelli's $6-million option by giving him a $4-million buyout and making him a free agent after the season, but what was unexpected was a three-year, $10.5-million contract for reliever Dan Wheeler with an option for 2011.

• The New York Knicks will turn their basketball operations over to Donnie Walsh on Wednesday. Good news? Perhaps.. read on....

Walsh, the longtime Indiana Pacers executive, will replace Isiah Thomas as president. Thomas is also the Knicks' coach.

Thomas' future remains unclear (unclear as the swamps in the Meadowlands). He has repeatedly said he expects to be with the Knicks next season, but that likely will be up to Walsh -- who hired Thomas to coach the Pacers in 2000.

So does Isiah go? He destroyed a franchise. Destroyed a league (CBA). Grabbed some expensive ass and made Red Holtzman spin in his grave like a food processor.

• Bob Kraft. Sorry we got caught cheating, glad we won.

• Dr Z weighs in with some Onion like reporting from the owners meetings. I also would take an expense paid trip to the Breakers to cover the meetings if we had that kind of cash in the Frog coffers.

" The issue of a defensive team calling time out to distract a team in the process of kicking a field goal was tabled. Designated tables include mahogany, maple and cherrywood."

• With a bag of salt.... With the words "Feed The Children" written across his black T-shirt, NFL outcast Adam "Pacman" Jones stood outside the church doors, passing out almost 500 boxes of food and toiletries to the people who know him best.

• Miracle Max has signed a one day contract with the New York Yankees. The Yankees are ready to add a touch of Hollywood to their roster, announcing their plans to sign actor and comedian Billy Crystal to a one-day contract during Spring Training.

Crystal will sign the contract and work out with the Yankees at Legends Field on Wednesday, before playing in the club's game on against the Pirates on Thursday. Commissioner Bud Selig approved the Yankees' extension of a contract to Crystal.

• No Pie for 3-5 days. Seems as though he twisted his nuts. Perhaps he needs advice from teammate Carlos Zambrano on the proper technique of emailing one's brother.

Pie is suffering from what's called testicular torsion, or, in layman's terms, a twisted testicle

• To ensure that they will have the most ping pong balls for the next draft, Dwayne Wade will miss the remainder of the season so he can further rehabilitate his surgically repaired left knee, which has bothered him for about a year.

• Lawyers for a former St. Louis Rams player and three fans plan to withdraw a lawsuit that accuses the New England Patriots of cheating in the 2002 Super Bowl.

In court papers filed Monday, the plaintiffs' attorneys say they sued last month in an attempt to secure sworn testimony from former Patriots employee Matt Walsh, who allegedly taped a walkthrough practice by the Rams before New England's Super Bowl win.

• You can go home again. Dunn has returned to the Bucs and Trent Green has gone back to the Rams. Perhaps Alzado will go back to the Raiders soon too.

• Jordan Tata has not had a good spring for the Tigers. In his first outing of the spring, he allowed four earned runs to Florida Southern College. In his second, he surrendered three to the Tampa Bay Rays. In his third, Friday against Atlanta, he had the bases empty and two out before walking the next two batters. And then it just gets worse.

Tata walked off the field and headed for the clubhouse. And as he entered the locker room, he did something he now regrets.

He hit the door with his pitching hand -- and broke a knuckle in his little finger. Does baseball administer the Wonderlic?

• The Texas Rangers' season doesn't start for another month, but on Sunday the team's staff was assembling a roster of a different sort. They were looking for the girls next door - who just happen to throw a mean fastball. (Yes there is video, you horny bastards)

Twenty female athletes, many current or former high school and college softball players, were vying to become one of six Rangers "ball girls" for the upcoming baseball season.

I would have thought the Rangers has enough problems with pitching on their own major league roster without trying to evaluate and additional hurlers.

• In the dance of 64 and a half so far. San Diego, Davidson, Burnt Siena & George Mason.

• China's Liu Xiang received the gold medal for the 60 meter hurdles on two occasions Sunday after a mix-up over the national anthem.

A bemused Liu was the model of stoicism in the initial ceremony as organizers inadvertently played Chile's national anthem instead of the Chinese. Well at least it was alphabetical.

• Those wacky soccer hooligans. Italian referee Mauro Bergonzi was sent into hiding by police after thugs tried to attack someone he looked like, the head of the country's referees' association has said.

Bergonzi awarded two contentious penalties in Napoli's 3-1 win over Juventus in October.

• Once again we have another shining example of the average mentality of Red Sawx nation. A group of men -- some with Irish accents -- beat up a 23-year-old Cambridge man and sent him to the hospital after they spotted him sporting a Yankees baseball cap.

• Noah Lowry walked nine of the first 12 hitters he faced Monday in the San Francisco Giants' 6-4 loss to the Texas Rangers in 10 innings.

Lowry threw 24 pitches before a Texas hitter took a swing. He went through the order once without an official at-bat--along with the walks, Ben Broussard and David Murphy hit sacrifice flies. Steve Blass could not be reached for comment.

• It is truly a happy day for St. Louis Cardinals fans. For the first time since 1960, there won't be a Buck in a Cardinals broadcast booth this year.

Joe Buck, who had been doing the play-by-play for a few Redbirds games on FSN Midwest in recent seasons, has decided not to return in order to enjoy himself at the ballpark in a nonworking capacity.

It should have said "he has decided not to return so fans could enjoy the broadcasts."

• Over at the Hardball Times they have worked up a nice article about the 10 worst lead-off hitters of the past 50 years. Horace Clarke made the list. The Yankee teams of my youth really did suck.

• Bobby Knight knew when to get the fuck out of dodge. Or Lubbock. The record for the most lopsided loss in Texas Tech history stood for less than a week.

Russell Robinson scored 15 points and No. 5 Kansas played everybody wearing a uniform in a 109-51 thrashing of the Red Raiders on Monday night. The 58-point margin topped the 44-point pounding at Texas A&M last Wednesday that had gone into the record book as Tech's worst loss ever.

And what did the Red Raiders do in between historic setbacks? They beat then-No. 5 Texas 83-80, halting the Longhorns' eight-game winning streak.

• Warrick is done. And the hilarity of the Atlanta front office contniues. Rather than exploring a trade for even a second day pick, Warrick Dunn was released by the Atlanta Falcons on Monday, one day after the club signed free agent running back Michael Turner.

• Leyland says he's 'not going to force' Inge to catch. Could be a new movie. Brokeback Tigers.

• From Buster Onley: Kyle Lohse's contract demands, which stood at five years and something in the range of $10 million a year at the outset of the offseason, are down to one year, and something higher than $4 million and less than $10 million a year. He is still unsigned, and has been told by multiple teams this spring that they have no interest.

LOL. Another win for Scott Boras.

• Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane told a crowd of baseball fans Monday that it was "unfortunate" Congress chose to have hearings on the use of steroids in baseball.

"There possibly could have been some other things for Congress to focus on in our nation," McLane said.

Of course no one on the Astro's ever took any PEDs. Like McLane gives a shit. He should just stick to stocking convienence stores and giving away tractors.

• Reggie Bush failed to show up for a scheduled deposition on Monday, the latest twist in the civil lawsuit against the former Heisman Trophy winner who allegedly accepted cash and gifts from sports marketers during his sophomore and junior seasons at Southern California.

"He literally ran from his deposition," said Brian Watkins, the attorney for sports marketer Lloyd Lake, who is suing Bush. And he ran 23 yards, but most of it sideways, gaining only 6 yards total.

• Peter King: " I actually saw the scouting combine Sunday afternoon for the first time in my life" now that's coverage. To write about football for years and never attend a combine. You can just sit at home, in your mother's basement and watch games and then write about it. But you make things up and have no sources. (Channeling my inner Tony Kornheiser)

• As if they don't get paid enough already. All players who travel to Tokyo for the season-opening series between Oakland and Boston will receive $40,000, according to Major League Baseball officials, and that figure could rise depending on how much revenue the event creates. Because the two big-league games have sold out, it's likely that the players each will get at least an additional $5,000.

There had been rumblings that the Red Sox players had held out for more, and there was some concern in the Oakland clubhouse that Boston's participants might wind up with a bigger payout than the A's.

• The Hardball Times, always a solid read, with shit loads of graphs and stats that will provide masterbation material for a few of you (you know who you are) has an article up on the best pitch in baseball.

"Is it Johan Santana's changeup or Jon Papelbon's four-seamer? Maybe Fausto Carmona's wicked sinker or Mariano Rivera's mythical cutter? Smoltz's slider is right there and Josh Beckett's curveball has to be in the discussion, right? So, who has the very best pitch in the game?"

• Larry Walker talks about the steriod era. He does make some excellent points, but he seems to forget he played in Coors BH. (Before Humidor)

"Gee, I might go into the Hall of Fame now," Walker said he joked. "There's nobody left from when I retired. I'm the only one that year who didn't get busted."

• Sam Cassell acknowledged Monday that he is seeking a buyout of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers, "My ship is arriving soon to take me back to my home planet. I need to get the hell out of here."

• Your latest NFL arrrest? Let's say its a lineman not known for mental stability. Of course it happened in South Beach.

Bryant McKinnie was charged with aggravated battery and disorderly conduct and resisting arrest without violence after a street brawl outside Club Space early Sunday morning.

Miami police found McKinnie "in the middle of a large crowd, throwing punches and again yelling obscenities," according to the police report.

Sounds like normal lineman behavior actually.

• The neck beard still lives. Figuring that Rex Grossman wasn't quite enough to lose the Bears have extended Kyle Orton. The Chicago Bears and quarterback Kyle Orton agreed Monday on a one-year contract extension that runs through the 2009 season, setting up a competition between him and Rex Grossman.

• The powers that be in Chicago have decided that the Bears have absolutely no chance to compete this season. To that end, quarterback Rex Grossman signed a one-year contract Saturday with the Chicago Bears and will compete for the starting job.

• Now we have another reason to never attend a Marlins game. In a continued effort to keep fans away from the park, good old Mr. Art Dealer decided that trading away his two stars wasn't quite enough.

The Florida Marlins are looking for some footloose fat men.

The National League team is creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. Tryouts were scheduled for Sunday.

A Manatee is a sea cow that are very peaceful, gentle creatures. Whales would be a better moniker for these guys.

• Manny being Manny has now lead to being represented by Scott Boras. Goold luck with that Theo.

• Oops.... Looks like Rocket Roger has mis-remembered.

Roger Clemens may be backpedaling on his long-time stance that he never attended a 1998 party at Jose Canseco's house.

In the wake of the Daily News' report Friday that a photograph exists of Clemens posing with a young man at Canseco's Florida home - a photo said to have been taken on June 9, 1998 - the Rocket's attorney issued a statement that seems to suggest Clemens may have attended the party after all.

• Memphis wanted to prove it really was the best team in the country, maybe even make a run at perfection.

Turns out, the Tigers aren't even best in their own state. They just aren't paying them like the used to in Memphis.

• There was a big NCAA game yesterday by two teams that never get much press. Drake ranked #18, after being picked to finish ninth in their conference, beat #8 ranked Butler. So there you go, now they have some press. That is if we can call ourselves press. I would say I gave them some ink, but that's not it either. But hey they made the Nighty Cap.

• The Eagles have gained some ground in the off season arrest standings.

Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Mike Patterson has been charged with marijuana possession after a police officer found a small amount of the drug in his car after a minor accident. There is no exact proof that he copped the dope from either of Coah Reid's sons.

• I watched Michael Clayton tonight. Save yourself the two hours. It was a mix of Network and the Pelican Brief but without any of the good parts.

• Over the past two years Brad Lidge usually leaves a game after a towering homerun. Today was different. Phillies closer Brad Lidge caught a spike in the mound on his first pitch of batting practice Saturday and hurt the same knee he had surgery on in October. Reminds me of when Farnsworth broke his foot warming up in the bullpen.

• Arbitration; def - in baseball even if you lose you win. This time Ryan Howard won and won big time.

Ryan Howard has won his salary arbitration hearing against the Phillies, a baseball source told The Inquirer this morning. He will make $10 million this season.The Phillies had offered $7 million.

• After declaring in no uncertain terms that he has never used any type of performance-enhancing drug, A-Rod said he had been tested "nine or 10 times" last season. OOPS.....

"My quote from earlier today was taken literally," Rodriguez said. "I was not tested nine or 10 times last year. I was just using exaggeration to make a point.

Perhaps he is also mistaken about opting out which only cost the Yankees over 20mm of the Rangers money. Or perhaps like we all always thought, the guy is just a dick.

• Moises Alou may play until he's 45 and when you play about 85 games a season I can see how that can happen. This guy is more fragile than Ryan Leaf's ego.

• Derek Jeter arrived at his 16th Yankees spring training yesterday labeled the worst shortstop in the majors by some statistical braniacs over at Penn.

"Maybe it was a computer glitch," the three-time Gold Glove winner said of the report.

• The Houston Astros signed right-hander Shawn Chacon to a one-year deal worth $2 million plus incentives, general manager Ed Wade announced on Wednesday. So let's review... bad pitcher in a hitters park.... over/under on ERA. Let's say about 5.73

• Detroit Tigers slugger Gary Sheffield calls his former agent a "bad person" and says Scott Boras is trying to get money he doesn't deserve. Sheff went on to say that Boras is also a doo-doo head.

• Miami beat Duke for the first time in 45 years.

Then again there was a 14 year period that Miami didn't even have a basketball team. So isn't it a little odd that once you are armed with that information the whole 45 year thing doesn't seem as impressive.

• Juan not gone. The man who turned down what would have been the worst free agent contract in history is trying to battle back to the majors. I guess it took two years to get a clean urine.

The Cardinals sought a righthanded bat on a budget. Juan Gonzalez wanted a second or third chance, depending on who's counting.

• Nevada sports books lost a record $2.6 million on Super Bowl bets when the New York Giants upset the New England Patriots on Sunday.

The sports books handled just more than $92 million on the game, the third-highest amount ever but down for the second consecutive year. Poor bastards.

• We have a Rudy Guliani sighting. After showing what a rat he is he now makes an appearance in next years Topps cards. When Topps baseball cards hit the stores this week it'll appear that way. About one in every 70 packs will include a picture of the former New York City mayor, fist raised in victory, celebrating with the Red Sox on the field after their World Series win.

Next thing you know Hillary will change from being a Cubs fan to a Yankee fan.

• Now they can afford to build the new Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter settled his case with tax officials, who had said the New York Yankees captain should have paid three years of taxes as a New York state resident.

A state official confirmed the settlement, which was first reported in Tuesday's New York Daily News. The official was not authorized to comment publicly and spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity. Terms were not disclosed.

• Bill James has a new book and a new website coming out. I know at least two VORP guys already wanking in anticipation. Until then you will have to settle for this interview with The Hardball Times.

• The Mighty MJD takes on the racist tone of the salesgenie Super Bowl ads.

" If I ever encounter a genie, I hope it doesn't turn out to be this racist. If it is, though, I'm going to rub the magic lamp, a genie's going to pop out of it and say, "Hello, sir! You've found a magic genie. I can offer you three wishes, but one of them will have to be the subjugation of Asian-Americans and 100 free sales leads." I hate genies like that."

• Jim Mora reached a five-year agreement Tuesday that will allow him to transition into the head coaching job with the Seattle Seahawks once Mike Holmgren retires after the season, a source close to Mora told ESPN.com.

• No longer confident they can win a championship with their current roster, the Phoenix Suns are close to completing a blockbuster trade that will bring them Shaquille O'Neal, a source with knowledge of the negotiations said Tuesday.

O'Neal is scheduled to travel to Phoenix aboard a private plane Wednesday, the source said, to undergo an MRI on his ailing left hip. If he passes the physical, the Suns will complete the trade by sending Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks to the Miami Heat.

• Albert Pujols, angry his name was incorrectly linked to the Mitchell report on steroids last month, banned a St. Louis television station from participating in a news conference Monday.

Pujols asked Cardinals media relations director Brian Bartow to make a reporter and cameraman from St. Louis Fox affiliate KTVI leave the room where Pujols' news conference was taking place on the final day of the Cardinals' winter warmup.

• Looks like Derek Jeter has some competition in NYC for the top of the line trim. New York Met David Wright and model girlfriend Molly Beers attended the Ford Supermodel of the World show Wednesday night at Terminal 5 in Manhattan.

• Just when we all thought that Phil Mickelson had gotten over his choking problem we get this report. Phil Mickelson's start to the 2008 golf season was in doubt on Monday when his doctor directed him to stay in bed for two days for a respiratory problem.

• And now we take a moment to pause and enjoy the absurdity of Peter King's thought for the week. "I wonder if all the welcome mats in the United States are manufactured in Wisconsin." This guy makes Larry King look like Einstein.

• Two Utah football players stabbed during a street fight last weekend were recovering Monday.

Defensive linemen Paul Kruger and Greg Newman, were both stabbed in the stomach after leaving a house party late Saturday night. Kruger underwent surgery, and released a statement on Monday saying his condition was improving.

• Memphis replaced North Carolina as the No. 1 team in college basketball Monday, the Tigers' first appearance in 25 years at the top of The Associated Press poll.

Kansas, the nation's only other undefeated Division I men's team, moved up to No. 2 while the Tar Heels dropped to fifth after their loss to Maryland. Drake and Baylor were two new entries to the rankings, joining the Top 25 for the first time in a long time.
Memphis' only other appearance at No. 1 was as short as possible - a one-week stint in 1983.

"I have always said, if you pay your players well enough you can have a great college team," Coach Calipari stated.

• Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers needed surgery to get his right knee through the AFC Championship Game, and now needs a more extensive operation to repair a torn ligament in the same knee. His rehab could last six months. No one is ever going to question this guy's toughness. Sanity maybe. Is Billy Volek really that bad?

• Before Neon Deion, before Bo knew anything, before Danny Ainge realized he couldn't hit major league pitching, there was Gene Conely. "He struck out Teddy Ballgame in the All-Star Game, broke Billy Martin's jaw in a brawl, and, nursing a hangover, held Wilt Chamberlain to fewer than 20 points."

• I don't know about you guys but I haven't heard shit from Tiki Barber today.

• Johnny Podres, who pitched the Brooklyn Dodgers to their only World Series title in 1955, died Sunday at the age of 75.

• A long-time baseball fan is suing the New York Yankees over some players' reported use of performance-enhancing drugs, saying he wants repayment for 221 US dollars (£112) in tickets and a public response from his once-beloved team.

"I look at it almost as consumer fraud," said Matthew Mitchell, 30, a Brooklyn resident who said he went to his first game at Yankee Stadium in 1984. "If I'm going to watch a baseball game, then I expect it to be the real thing." Getthefuckouttahere.

• The IAAF ruled Monday that double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius is ineligible to compete in the Beijing Olympics because his prosthetic racing legs give him a clear competitive advantage.

I am sure this was all part of his plan. Let's see if I cut off my legs the can rebuild me, they have the technology..... Better, stronger, faster.

• And finally the Patriots lose. Well, someone that is. Tom Dimitroff was hired as general manager of the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, leaving his job as director of scouting for the unbeaten New England Patriots.

Dimitroff, who has been with the Patriots since 2002, will direct the Falcons' football operations, including working with a new head coach on draft decisions, free agency, trades and other personnel decisions.

• One thing TO knows for sure, his current QB is not gay. But yesterday's game did make him cry. Terrell Owens' bottom lip was quivering, his voice wavering.

While his teary eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses, he couldn't hide his disappointment -- or his loyalty to quarterback Tony Romo -- after the Cowboys' 21-17 playoff loss to the New York Giants on Sunday.

"This is not about Tony. You guys can point the finger at him, you can talk about the vacation, and if you do that, it's really unfair," Owens said, his voice choked with emotion. "It's really unfair. That's my teammate. That's my quarterback. You guys do that, it's not fair. We lost as a team. We lost as a team, man."

• In the draft; Slaton, Darren McFadden (until he changes his mind again, regardless of his Dad's new Escalade), Arkansas junior running back Felix Jones.

• Lebron was racing down the lane. LeBron James was ticketed by the State Highway Patrol for driving 101 mph on an interstate highway.

The Cleveland Cavaliers star was cited in a 65 mph zone on Interstate 71 near Medina at 2:43 a.m. on Dec. 30 -- his 23rd birthday.

I guess Lebron never heard of Bobby Phills.

• Yet another birthday has come and gone for myself and I keep wondering when that maturity is going to set in. Though it is snowing outside the Hot Stove is aflame.

• Cubs say Fuku to Mark Prior. The best college pitcher since Tom Seaver with wonderful mechanics turned out to be an injury prone, never was. I was very critical of the Twins in passing on Prior with the first pick because they were, as always, cheap. Turns out a semi-injury prone catcher who can hit was a better selection.

• Meanwhile Fukudome is a Cub. If only Harry was still alive. It is pronounced Fookedome~ but to me he will known as Fuck you dome. He got a four-year, $48 million contract which works out to be about 87 yen with the exchange rate.

• Aaron Rowand wanted some long-term stability, and so did the San Francisco Giants.

Rowand agreed to a $60 million, five-year contract with the Giants on Wednesday, giving the club a Gold Glove center fielder without having to trade young pitchers Matt Cain or Tim Lincecum. At the age of 30, Rowand is about 8 years too young to be a Giants outfielder, but the team is seeking a waiver from the league.

• Here are a few guys that aren't tender. Cubs pitcher Mark Prior, Rangers reliever Akinori Otsuka, Astros shortstop Adam Everett and Mets catcher Johnny Estrada were among 43 players non-tendered by their clubs by Wednesday's midnight deadline, according to a filing obtained by SI.com.

• Falcons feel betrayed by Petrino. Players unhappy with coach's sudden departure.

Coward. Quitter. Hypocrite. And those were some of the nicer things the Atlanta Falcons had to say about their former coach on Wednesday. This from a team that can't even draw family members to watch their own games.

Betrayed and football sounds familar to me. Sounds like The Birdcage.

Armand: Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!

Albert: How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered...

Now the Falcons have something in common with drag queens besides their play on the field.

• The Orioles finally trade Miggy Tejada. Following their axiom of the past twenty years the Orioles bought high and sold low. As Tejada's range at shortstop has regressed from poor to statuesque the Orioles decided to pull the trigger at a time when the felt it would be impossible to get less.

But they traded with Ed Wade who always has given away too much for too little. What a unique synergy. Perhaps the two franchises can field one joint team this year.

• Tomorrow may be the darkest day in baseball history. A multi-million dollar report comprised of statements from non-players will finger those who allegedly used PED. Perhaps the should wear a big red S on the uniforms the rest of the career. ESPN will be giving it wall to wall coverage from Noon on and even King Bud is slated for a press conference.

• It's a game of chicken and it appears that both the Yankees and Red Sawx are blinking.

The Red Sox yesterday did an about-face and decided to include outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury in a package for the premier pitcher. Previously, the Red Sox had declared both Ellsbury and pitching prospect Clay Buchholz off-limits in trade talks.

That, however, was before the New York Yankees -- the Red Sox' chief rival on the field and in these negotiations -- reluctantly agreed to include top pitching prospect Phillip Hughes in their offer to the Twins.

The Yankees either will reach an agreement with the Twins sometime Monday on a trade for Johan Santana or pull their offer from the table, senior vice president Hank Steinbrenner said Sunday night.

If the Twins had only negotiated their stadium deal this well. As it is with Pohland still owning the team, whoever wins the Santana derby can buy back their players as they become too expensive.

• I always hate to be Yankee-centric, but hey they are in the news. Andy Pettitte, who contemplated retirement this winter, has told his good friends, a few former Astros teammates and some current Yankees teammates that he will return to the Bronx for the 2008 season.

• If I were a kicker I would rather try a 36 yarder to win the game rather than a 51 yarder. But how in the world do you get the ball moved 15 yards in your favor? Just play against Coach Gibbs. Gibbs called consecutive timeouts while trying to ice Buffalo kicker Rian Lindell with 4 seconds remaining. That prompted a 15-yard penalty -- back-to-back timeouts are illegal -- and Lindell made a 36-yarder for the win. Somewhere Chris Webber is smiling.

But that's not all the Gibbs news that's fit to print. Gregg Williams excited his players Saturday night by deciding to leave Sean Taylor's free safety spot vacant and let his defense start its first series with just 10 men on the field. Trouble is, the Redskins assistant head coach-defense didn't get his signals straight with coach Joe Gibbs, who said after the game he didn't know of the plan. I hate to say it, but it looks like Coach Gibbs has been lapped a few times this season.

• Karl Dorrell is expected to be out as UCLA coach as early as Monday, a person close to the situation told ESPN's Joe Schad on Sunday.

A short list of candidates has been assembled, sources familiar with the athletic department told The Los Angeles Times on Sunday.

Defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker could be considered for the potential opening, according to Schad. Walker is also a candidate for the Washington State opening.

• Ohio State is No. 1, LSU is No. 2, and Virginia Tech, Oklahoma and Georgia and Ed Zipper are just numb. I have never liked Ohio State even as a kid. A buckeye... That's just fucking nuts. But let's get to the facts. Ohio State played Youngstown State, Akron and Kent State, at home, by choice.

If you combine the best players from the three small schools they still shouldn't have any business on the "#1 team's" schedule. Is two losses to quality opponents better than three cupcake wins. In reality yes, in BCS land no. College is allegedly a place of learning. All I have learned from this season is that Greed is Good. Shame on you BCS. LSU by 17.

• The Padres, taking a chance on a pitcher coming off shoulder surgery, have reached a preliminary agreement with free-agent left-hander Randy Wolf on a one-year contract, according to major-league sources. I have always thought that Wolf has been underrated his whole career. While not an all-star he is a solid competitor that keeps his team in games. He should have a good year considering half his home games will be played in a canyon.

• Things Peter King thinks that none of us will understand:

Leon Washington. Joe Washington. Same guy. If you're 45 or older, you see that.

Miami's going winless. (He sure goes out on a limb here)

LaDainian Tomlinson is looking a lot like LaDainian Tomlinson again.

Tarvaris Jackson spent his second straight game looking like a first-string quarterback.

When I watch the Bills, I feel like I'm watching a bunch of guys who would play football for free.

Where did Roddy White come from? Ten more catches yesterday in St. Louis. Nice player

Things worked out for the BCS. Ohio State-LSU is the game I want to see for the marbles.

Coffeenerdness: My daughter Mary Beth informs me that The Barge, the campus coffeehouse at Colgate University and her employer, has shipped out two pounds of Colgate Blend to a South Dakota man, based on my review of the black gold in a recent column. You won't regret it, sir. That's a strong, delicious cup of Green Mountain coffee.

People I couldn't write football stuff that stupid if I was on the staff at the Onion. I do not have words to describe how inept and out of touch Fatty McButterPants is with the sport he allegedly covers. And I refuse to link to his drivel. I refuse to even show him that amount of respect.

• Forget speculation and the opinion of columnists. When you want to know something about someone it usually pays to talk to someone who has known the person since he was 8 years old.

Still in disbelief of his childhood friend's shooting death, Arizona Cardinals cornerback Antrel Rolle vowed Wednesday to make sure Sean Taylor is remembered.

He added he did not believe the killing was part of a burglary gone sour, and that Taylor had many enemies on the streets of Miami.

• The Twins needed a big bat. They really haven't had one since they decided David Ortiz wasn't worth the money. So they went and got one. Too bad this one seems to have a ten cent head.

The Minnesota Twins weren't worried about Delmon Young's troubled past. They wanted his bat, and they wanted it badly.

Young was traded by Tampa Bay to Minnesota on Wednesday night as part of a six-layer deal that sent right-hander Matt Garza to the Rays.

Aaron Gleeman a Twins blogger who now also writes for rotoworld and NBC Sports breaks the deal down here.

Fortunately there is plenty for a young black man to do in the Twin Cities. It's not like there has been a long history between the police there and black athletes.

• Kenny Rogers and Randy Johnson revisited. Arizona kicker Neil Rackers has apologized for striking an NFL Films video camera with his helmet as he left the field following the Cardinals' 37-31 overtime loss to San Francisco last Sunday. Maybe Rackers is a lefty.

• There's a football game tonight that 97% of America won't see. I will not attend a local tavern just out of protest. To me this game is like the sales on Black Friday. Stupid people tricks. Jump through the hoop and get a treat. Well fuck that. I have Hi-Def and surround sound at home for a reason. My current cable bill is around $200 a month and no matter what I do I cannot see this game. Of course most of Canada will be able to view the game from the comfort of their homes.

John Clayton breaks it all down right here.

• The stadium that should have never been built (we used to refer to it as the Empty Dome) the slovenly, spartan dome residing on top of the old St. Pete gas plant may be replaced. The site of the current stadium is located in possibly the worst spot in the Tampa Bay area and yet again ownership has chosen to ignore geography.

The Tampa Bay Rays this afternoon revealed a bold plan for a new waterfront baseball stadium at one end of a dramatically transformed St. Petersburg downtown.

The Rays' plans call for a $450-million, open-air, 34,000-seat stadium to open in 2012 at the current site of Al Lang Field. On the other end of downtown at Tropicana Field, the team proposes a massive retail and residential development.

"We're talking about a major-league downtown," Rays principal owner Stuart Sternberg said during a meeting with the St. Petersburg Times editorial board, where he previewed the concept.

Unless things have changed dramatically in the 11 years since I moved from the area, downtown St. Pete was not even minor league, nor even a downtown. A small area harboring shuffleboard courts and expensive homes in low lying areas that flood more often than an Elijah Dukes outburst, that is the downtown St. Pete I remember.

And one more thing. I know that even if downtown has changed it still rains every single day in the spring and summer around 4:30pm and Florida is kind of hot and just slightly humid. Good luck with the open air fellas. What's next for baseball? Open the season in Cleveland with Seattle making its one trip a year there?

• Injuries sustained by Cleveland Indians reliever Juan Lara in a weekend car accident make it too dangerous to move him to the United States for treatment, a team spokesman said Wednesday.

The 26-year-old left-hander, who remains hospitalized in critical condition, suffered a fractured spine, severe brain trauma, two broken ribs and a punctured lung in the crash Saturday night.

• One of the most financially successful men in history is A-Rod's secret advisor. Warren Buffett advised Alex Rodriguez to approach the New York Yankees and go around agent Scott Boras, The Wall Street Journal reported Saturday.

At least A-Rod can afford a share of Berkshire Hathaway now trading at $136,475.00

• Forget 40-40. The new hot number is 20-20. Tim Tebow became the first player in NCAA history with at least 20 touchdowns passing and rushing in the same season.

• Example 4,137,964 of why Nick Saban is the suck. Alabama's fans were subdued to start Saturday's game. They seemed restless to shove little Louisiana-Monroe aside and get on to Auburn.

You know, the matchup that really defines a season for the Crimson Tide.

This might just have become that game for Nick Saban's reeling team -- a stunning 21-14 upset to the 24 1/2-point underdogs from the Sun Belt Conference.

• Momma Jeter stands up for her son. "He pays his taxes," Dorothy Jeter told the Daily News.

"My boy does everything right - everything right," she said at her New Jersey home. "He's paid taxes in New York for every doggone day he's been there."

Take that New York State. Momma Jeter says you can kiss her ass. And Derek's too.

• Free agent Kris Benson is expected to throw for team executives and scouts in Arizona about a week after the winter meetings, says his agent, Gregg Clifton. I wouldn't even go watch this guy throw if his wife was standing there topless. And knowing her, that just may be the case.

• Is 3B in Ryan Braun's future? If so, he has a lot of homework to do.

It is possible that Braun, who became a third baseman mostly after he turned pro, will learn to adequately play the position. Ned Yost has requested that he take 1,000 ground balls a day during the off-season, a drill that Braun will soon begin in California. Mets third baseman David Wright became a passable defender, so, yes it is possible

• Dallas Clark yes. Marvin, probably not. Westbrook, questionable as usual, which means just about 200 yards a game. Shaun Alexander will not play for the Seattle Seahawks until he's healthy enough to practice full time.

• The turmoil that is Derek Jeter's life... Which supermodel should he date or should it be Miss Universe? What should he do with all his money? Where should he live?

His residency has become an issue with the state of New York. They say Derek lived in NY for a few years and they want their millions. Derek says he lives in Florida, which by state constitution has no state income tax.

"Jeter has owned an apartment in Trump World Tower in New York City since October 2001. As part of its assertion of the player's New York residency, the New York State Division of Taxation and Finance noted that Jeter has personal items that are "near and dear" in this apartment."

What can be considered near and dear to a multi-millionaire? Also Derek being the wily cat he is bought his apartment just a month after 9/11 when I am sure prices were slightly depressed.

• Just a personal observation as my company has taken up residence in a local mall for the holiday season. During the daytime hours I cannot begin to describe the miscreants wandering through the mall. Darwin was wrong. But I think Pavlov was right. Time to drool.

• Unlucky #2. Oregon is the the fifth No. 2 team to go down to an unranked opponent in seven weeks, and none of the previous four (USC, California, South Florida, Boston College) went down as hard.

• Jake Peavy has been one of the best pitchers in the National League for years. This season, he pulled away from the pack.

The San Diego Padres ace was an unanimous winner of the NL Cy Young Award on Thursday after leading the league in wins, ERA and strikeouts -- pitching's version of a Triple Crown.

So why isn't the pitching Triple Crown covered with even 1/10th the hype the batting Triple Crown gets? Isn't it as great of an achievement? Or is it that chicks still dig the long ball?

• Trent Dilfer to the rescue. After Alex Smith and 49ers coach Mike Nolan reached a temporary peace in their spat about the quarterback's injured arm, Trent Dilfer capped his first day as San Francisco's new starter by getting in a fight with a rookie defensive back in practice.

I bet some guys like Shaun King are sitting around wondering why they retired too early.

• C.C. is Cy Young. If there were any lingering debate about whether C.C. Sabathia has arrived among baseball's elite pitchers, his new Cy Young Award should end it.

• Fukudome is a free agent. And this may turn out well for the team that signs him because they don't have to pay the blackmail, I mean posting fee, to his Japanese team. Fukudome. Let's just say it one more time. Fukudome. Here is a list and ranking of all 144 free agents.

• Mariano Rivera was offered a $45 million, three-year contract to stay with the New York Yankees. Now, the team is waiting to hear back from its star closer.

"He'd be by $4 million a year the highest-paid relief pitcher," Yankees senior vice president Hank Steinbrenner said Tuesday. "To say that's a strong offer would be an understatement."

Hank doesn't sound to bright. I don't think we will be holding a set for him at the next Mensa meeting.

• Stephon Marbury has left the New York Knicks and there is no word on when, or even if, he might rejoin the team. He took his $14.95 shoes and went home? Did Isiah try to kiss him? Did Isiah's hand linger just a bit too long when he patted his butt?

• Houston Texans offensive lineman Fred Weary on Tuesday sued the city and two police officers for an arrest in which he was shot with a Taser gun during a traffic stop.

• The Bills are trying to do everything they can to make sure the Patriots have a perfect season. Quarterback J.P. Losman was named the starter for Buffalo's game against unbeaten New England on Sunday.

• Here is the hot scoop from the Miami Dolphins. They haven't decided who will play QB for them this weekend. I know I can't as I will be busy, but it could be just about anyone else.

• More troubling than Peyton throwing for 6 ints? The Indianapolis Colts already expect Dwight Freeney not to play for several weeks because of a left foot injury, but now there's reason to believe the Pro Bowl defensive end's season might be over.

• It appears that no Boston team can lose a single game. The Celts are now 6-0.

• As the new NBA gets going, I think it is time to brush up on your Charles Bakley quotes.

"To Kenny Smith: "Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!"

"You're the boss, Ernie. The white guy's always the boss."

""I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."

• Chris Henry is back at practice. Both kinds of practice. Practicing football and practicing being a moronic asshole.
Receiver Chris Henry was allegedly involved in an altercation with a parking attendant on the eve of rejoining the Cincinnati Bengals from his eight-game suspension.

Henry practiced with the Bengals on Wednesday and will be eligible to play Sunday in Baltimore. Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him for the first half of the season for repeatedly violating the NFL's conduct policy.

• Continuing their philosophy of ninth inning cliff hangers, (See Joe Table, Mitch Williams, Tom Gordon, et al.) the Phils traded for Brad Lidge. Of course the dose allow the Phils to move Brett Myers back to the rotation, which is where he shoud be. Philly Phans, stock up on some Tums, it will be an interesting season.

• Keith Law a former special assistant to the GM for the Blue Jays and super geek for ESPN.com Insider does not like the trade. Here are the direct quotes:

"Ed Wade's reputation as a GM in Philadelphia was as a man who overvalued relief pitching, but in his first deal as the Houston GM, he gave away one of the better relievers in the National League for three spare parts. "

"It's interesting that Wade thought this was the best he could get for Lidge, or he felt using Lidge (perhaps their most tradeable commodity, with one year left until free agency) to fill their center-field role was a good strategy. The closers on the free agent market are all worse than Lidge; only Francisco Cordero is close, and he'll probably get a four-year deal. There had to be other teams interested in Lidge, and by acting quickly and dealing with his former club to acquire three players drafted while he was the Phillies' GM, it looks like Wade completely misread the market for relievers. At the same time he put filling a specific hole ahead of maximizing his return on one of his best assets. It's an inauspicious beginning to his tenure in Houston."

So either Wade knows a lot about these three guys he drafted or Keith Law is correct and the best thing the Phils have one lately is let Wade go to the Astros and then make him a trading partner. Don't ever fall in love with your own draft picks.

• Tennis on the front page? WTF?

The International Tennis Federation is investigating allegations that Tommy Haas was poisoned before Germany's Davis Cup match against Russia.

German teammate Alexander Waske said he was told by a Russian who manages numerous athletes that it was poisoning, not a virus. Waske didn't say who the manager was.

Obviously the Davis Cup is of much greater importance outside the USA. Now the question is, do the tanks start lining up along the Fulda Gap again?

• He won't go home again. Mike Lowell, a former Yankee farmhand, return to the Red Sox appears inevitable, and Yankees general manager Brian Cashman is resigned to the fact that Alex Rodriguez's replacement will have to come via the trade market.

Lowell, the 2007 World Series Most Valuable Player, could re-sign with the Red Sox before Tuesday, when free agents can begin negotiating with other clubs.

• Donovan McNabb has always been an enigma to me. From being heavily booed the day he was drafted to his latest comments. So what if the losses aren't his fault. Hasn't he always wanted to be the LEADER? Perhaps he is just basically insecure and suffers from not only premature baldness but also an identity crisis.

"Donovan McNabb doesn't miss blocks or run wrong routes, and he can't be held responsible for the defense allowing points.

"I'm definitely not the whole reason why we lost these games," McNabb said Wednesday. "Can I help? Yes, I can. But I'm not fully to blame for everything that goes on around here."

Thank you Captain Obvious. Now you have thrown the entire team under the bus. I am only amazed he didn't blame Coach Reid's sons as an additional distraction. Have some Chunky soup and shut the fuck up.

• I hope you can find the underlying humor in this article.

Jonathan Babineaux expressed relief Wednesday after he was cleared of a felony animal cruelty charge that could have sent the Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle to prison.

"I'm just happy the whole situation is over with," Babineaux said. "It's been a long process. I've been waiting it out and it's finally over."

Gwinnett County District Attorney Danny Porter said Wednesday he dismissed the charges following an investigation of the death of a pit bull in February.

McDonough said the dog had been neutered, placed on Prozac, sent to a dog trainer and kept on a leash.

• Dr Z does his preliminary bust review. We are talking HOF busts here. Those bronze things.

Nothing like getting a phone call from an old coach -- "You want me to ever talk to you again?

• With Grady Little out of the way in L.A., Joe Torre is the Dodgers' first choice to take over the club. According to sources Torre has agreed in principle to a three-year deal worth $14.5 million and could be introduced tomorrow, the same day the Yankees are holding a press conference to welcome Joe Girardi, Torre's successor, at Yankee Stadium.

• After stealing a football team in the middle of the night the Irsay family is still trying to find their way to weasel into heaven.

Indianapolis Colts fans have a chance to win a piece of the team's Super Bowl victory -- a Super Bowl ring -- through a charity raffle team owner Jim Irsay announced Tuesday during a pep rally for Sunday's game against New England.

During my one brief meeting with Coach Bill Walsh my friend asked him if he was wearing a Super Bowl ring. Walsh told us that the Super Bowl Ring was too gaudy and usually only worn by the groudskeeper, he was wearing a Hall of Fame ring.

• Mr. Me has decided that there are only 13 teams worthy of his 41 year old pitching prowess next year. Fortunately the Yankees aren't on the list.

• Hank sounds a lot like George. Here are some similar quotes from both, twenty years apart.

"I'm fed up with his attitude. He ought to realize that his lack of hitting lately has killed us."

Hank Steinbrenner talking about the going-going Alex Rodriguez, right?

Try vintage George, June 1985.

The target of his blustery wrath: Don Mattingly, who had dared carp about off-day workouts.

• Dr Z. has a list of complaints. His pet peeve? The QB rating system.

"Steve Young, who has the highest career passer rating in history, admits that he's "not quite sure how the system works."

The irony here is that Young, a broadcaster and a lawyer cannot figure out how the system works. I am sure some Eucildean theories are highly involved.

• Reason #1,467,312 that Scott Boras is a cock.

"At 9:32 there was a voice mail from Scott Boras to call him. He wanted to give me a heads up on something, was the message," Cashman said Tuesday. "And then at 9:42 was a text message saying he was opting out."

• Cornerback Darrell Green and receivers Cris Carter and Herman Moore were among 124 modern-era players, coaches, and contributors on the preliminary list of nominees for the Pro Football Hall of Fames Class of 2008.

• The loss of Michael Vick is starting to affect the Atlanta Falcons at the ticket booth.

The team announced Tuesday that some 3,000 tickets are still available for Sunday's game against the San Francisco 49ers, endangering a streak of 56 consecutive sellouts at the 70,000-seat Georgia Dome.

Maybe being a team of suck at 1-6 has something to do with this. I bet Petrino misses Louisville.

• I thought sports gambling was illegal in this country outside of Vegas. The World Series wager, with a bit of smack....

The first brushback pitch of the World Series came not from Josh Beckett or Jeff Francis, but from Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick.


"I like you and I like Denver, but you're going down, you do know that don't you?" Patrick told Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter Tuesday, during a conference call to set the traditional World Series wager between governors.

Patrick is putting up lobsters and ice cream vs. beef from Ritter. The Colorado Rockies and Boston Red Sox open the Series Wednesday at Fenway Park.

• The 1972 Dolphins speak out and lets just say they aren't happy.Some of the highlights.

"Pathetic,'' Hall of Fame linebacker Nick Buoniconti said of the Dolphins' personnel mistakes. ''Trent Green is starting to shape up as a pretty good move, huh?'' he said, sarcasm dripping. ``And Jason Allen has really fulfilled expectations.''

''You know what I'm shocked about?'' Nick Buoniconti said. ``How the Patriots make all the right decisions and how the Dolphins make all the wrong decisions. The whole offseason was pathetic. The Dolphins get . . . Joey Porter, who's got a big mouth and never delivers."

Former Dolphins running back Jim Kiick called these Dolphins the worst team he has ever seen. ''Embarrassing to the franchise,'' he said. ``We feel for the current players. It hurts. [But] I couldn't believe how bad they were. The defensive backfield is terrible. They're at least three or four years from [contending].''

• Now with Ronnie Brown out the rumour mill has Ricky Williams going back to the Dolphins. Apparently Lawrence Phillips was busy doing time somewhere.

• The Colorado Rockies sold out all three World Series games at Coors Field on Tuesday, one day after their first attempt collapsed in a computer-system crash blamed on people trying to fool the system to hoard tickets.

Teams are so cute when they are that naive. How many examples does a multi-million dollar organization need before the begin to realize that some 16yo in his parents basement can find a security exploit. Or Scottie really wanted to see countryman Jeff Francis pitch.

• First he loses Halley Berry and now he loses his house. David, don't go to Vegas anytime soon.

• Some thoughts while sitting in a Chicago hotel room while my wife attends a conference. Last night we had dinner at Fogo De Chao. If you have never been and you love meat you must go. Truly a unique dinning experience and I will not have any other food for 3 days.

• As we all know Cleveland is a hotbed for country music. Don't pay attention to the fact that the Rock and Roll all of Fame is there, they love their twangy geetars and vapid lyrics about life in the trailer park.

So last night that had themselves one of these female country singers perform the national anthem. Turns out she was a replacement for the original vocalist. Also turns out she used to get naked with Red Sox starter Josh Beckett.

"It's an incredible coincidence," said Bob DiBiasio, Cleveland vice president/ public relations, who chose Peck, an Ohio native. "How would we know? My G-d, I can't keep up with some of our own single men. How am I supposed to know about the other team's?"

• Authorities are investigating allegations that Sacramento Kings player Justin Williams sexually assaulted a female acquaintance, a Sacramento Police Department spokesman said Thursday.

• The Buffalo Bills intend to play a few games in Canada, eh?

That's the plan after the Bills, on Thursday, announced they are seeking approval to play a preseason and at least one regular-season game in Toronto as part of the franchise's attempt to expand its market base beyond western New York.

I do not believe that this would have happened 5 years ago. But now that the Canadian dollar is about equal to the US Dollar it makes sense. That Canadian economy is super strong. That has to be the reason.

• Please adjust your fantasy rosters. Denver Broncos wide receiver Javon Walker needs another surgery on his right knee, the one he tore up in the 2005 opener for Green Bay that caused him to miss the entire season.

• Trey Hillman is expected to be named manager of the Kansas City Royals on Friday, after some details are finalized. Hillman would've been among the candidates considered by the New York Yankees, as they begin their search for a replacement for Joe Torre.

Would have been considered my ass. I didn't even know who this guy was. Darn the Yankees missed out on another Stump Merrill. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

• The Patriots are behaving in an un-American fashion.

The New England Patriots have won a bid to get the names of all the fans who bought or sold -- or tried to buy or sell -- tickets to home games through online ticket reseller StubHub Inc., a move one technology group sees as an invasion of privacy.

In a lawsuit against San Francisco-based StubHub, a subsidiary of eBay Inc., claiming that the Web site encourages fans to break state law and violate team policies, the Patriots said they could seek to revoke season tickets of people who use StubHub.

Sounds like a regime to me. Anyway Brady will soon have enough kids to fill the stadium.

• Does Cabernet go with dog fighting or is it Pinot Noir?

Wachovia Bank is seeking about $940,000 from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick and a business partner.

The bank claims that since Vick's indictment on federal dogfighting charges, they defaulted on a 2006 loan to set up a wine shop and restaurant.

• Chris Chambers has become a more viable fantasy option. In an effort to make sure they finish 0-16 the Phins have traded their best WR to the Chargers for only a second round pick in next year's draft.

"This will help us get worse even faster, which has been our goal this season, said an anonymous source in the Miami front office. "Chambers was playing too well this season, we asked him to try and play worse, but he refused to listen to "Coach?" Cameron.

• In some good news from the NFL front. Injured Buffalo Bills player Kevin Everett has been able to walk to some extent as part of his rehabilitation after suffering a severe spinal cord injury during the team's season opener.

• Dan Shaughnessy has thrown in the towel on the Sawx this season.

Fenway Park and "Sweet Caroline" can't save them now.

A global network of fans, a $143 million payroll, a front office of stat geeks, and a savvy collection of marketing persons and television executives can't help the Boston Red Sox at this hour. Makes my giggle with glee.

• The axe may fall on The Gator. Though several Yankees officials insist decisions haven't been made about next year's coaching staff, speculation is growing that Ron Guidry won't be asked back for a third year as the pitching coach.

• The Hardball Times examines off-season blockbuster trades from 1970-1992 in this three part series. Take a trip down memory lane. Time for me to run, I have people to piss off.

• It appears that Adam is not Dunn in Cincy. Dusty likes him. So does the owner.

Team owner Bob Castellini jumped in. "I want him back," he said. "We'll see what happens."

• Donnie Baseball is an honest man. A friend of Don Mattingly told the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J., that the Yankees bench coach has informed the Yankees that he's not ready to manage and is uncomfortable with replacing Torre as manager.

• Great line from Buster Onley this morning. "The standing joke about Joe Borowski is that one of his best pitches is a hanging slider."

• With its matchup of small-market, tradition-poor teams, the National League Championship Series is setting television ratings lows. It was a great series, fuck the casual fan.

• Roger Goodell has lost his fucking mind. "There's a great deal of interest in holding a Super Bowl in London," Goodell told reporters Monday. "So we'll be looking at that."

The NFL has famously used a SB as a bargaining chip to extort money from tax payers for new stadiums. London in February, that should be lovely. Can't wait to hear BSG bitching about that. At least though you would be able to legally bet on the game.

• Running back Priest Holmes, who hasn't played or practiced since October 2006, will begin practicing on Wednesday. Kansas City coach Herm Edwards did not rule out the possibility that he might play this week against Oakland.

I am rooting for Priest. He waited for a few years to get his first break and now I hope he succeeds in his comeback. But let's be realistic.....

• Bill Stoneman, the man who helped orchestrate the only World Series title in Los Angeles Angels history, is relinquishing the GM role, CBSSports.com's Scott Miller has learned.

Stoneman, 62, is planning to move to a consultant's position with the club. His four-year contract expired with the 2007 season but includes a mutual option allowing him to stay beyond '07 as either a GM or a consultant.

• The St. Louis Cardinals still don't technically have a general manager, but that isn't stopping them from doing business. -- The Cardinals, seeking stability in their rotation, have re-signed right-hander Joel Pineiro to a two-year contract. 13 million just doesn't get you as much as it used to.

• Once again Wake Forest was able to beat Free Shoes University on the gridiron.

• I had no idea Fatty McButterPants was giving out fantasy advice. I think he knows more about lattes.

• Mrs Klemens says its time to retire. Well no shit Debbie. Roger pitched like a 45 this year. "I think he's ready to do the barbecue and come home," Debbie Clemens told KRIV-TV. Do the barbecue? Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

• Boston's Mike Lowell, who will become a free agent, has expressed interest in playing for the Phillies. "Guys in the clubhouse in Boston teased me about having one nut", Lowell said. "I know because John Kruk played in Philly, that they are a one-nut friendly organization."

• Big Papi is now giving advice to the Yankees organization. I won't make fun of this, I think it shows the respect and esteem players have for Joe Torre. Even opposing players.

• The saga of Vinny Greentable just gets better. With a banged up Carr, Vinny may start this week. I have to pick him up for my fantasy teams.

• Travis Johnson's taunting of Trent Green after Green sustained a serious concussion trying to block him earned the Houston Texans defensive tackle a 15-yard penalty and the ire of critics. But it won't result in a fine by the NFL.

Just as long as his towels were straight and he wore the correct shoes. Perhaps we should change Travis' name to Mr. Orange.

• Fatty McButter makes Wade Wilson's life a mess.

As part of the latest episode of HBO's "Inside The NFL," reporter Peter King said "the league, the Patriots, everybody, they just want this Spygate thing to go away, but Wade Phillips this week told me something that I think a lot of coaches around the league and a lot of people around the league are still thinking, and that is, 'Hey, New England was caught cheating, and it is a black mark on their success.' "

Phillips said he was not aware of King's remarks until a reporter told him.

Did Fatty make it up? Was he blowing Hoody or Brady when he thought of this one?

• Now the Rockies have won 18 of 19. Their last loss was against Brandon Webb, who they handled last night. Can anyone stop the Rocky Mountain Juggernaut?

• I have heard that there may not be a national interest in a Rockies/Diamondbacks series, but as a baseball fan, I cannot wait. Some of the stars of the future will be on display and these teams have gotten to know each other very well. John Donovan over at SI gives us the complete breakdown.

• Suzyn Waldman's teary report from the Yankees' clubhouse late Monday night has been a source of amusement on the radio, on the Internet and in print across the continent.

To her, though, there is nothing funny about that.

Sorry to me, still funny. And there's no crying in baseball.

• Page 2 weighs in with the Top 50 moments in LCS history. Zimmer charging Pedro made the list.

• One of the writers from Hardball Times enlightens us with his picks for MVP. Of course he has tons of stats to back up his selections. The HBT is the polar opposite of Joe Morgan. And Jimmy Rollins is not in the top 5.

• Vinny is back. The color blind QB who single handedly ruined almost a decade of Buccaneer football has signed with the Panthers.

• Miami Dolphins quarterback Trent Green flew to Kansas City for medical consultations and was optimistic about the recovery from his second severe concussion in 13 months.

"He went through some tests this morning, and he told me that it's very encouraging," coach Cam Cameron said Wednesday. "He's in Kansas City, dealing with the people he dealt with last year so they can make a direct comparison."

Trent was sitting in the waiting room working over the puzzles in the Highlights magazine and got most of them correct. Next up, Vince Young's Wonderlic score.

• Tonight the Seminoles ranked #21 take on Wake Forest. Its a battle of players that actually attend class versus players that attend weight room.

• Looks like there is Hope in women's soccer afterall. Hope Solo, (pic)whose remarks critical of coach Greg Ryan got her dismissed from the U.S. team at the Women's World Cup, is on the roster for a three-game series with Mexico.

• I can't write a Nighty Cap at 2 AM anymore since I had to rejoin the rat race. But I miss the quick hits, the snarkiness, the pictures of the hot chicks. So instead I will try to recap the things that occurred the previous day that you just shouldn't miss.

• After yesterday's rant about Chip Caray I did get an email from a fellow proud to be named Chip. For him and all the Chips out there let me apologize for attacking your name while attacking Caray the III. And it is good to hear feedback from readers and we do invite all of you to participate in our community, The Swamp.

• The vigil for the white smoke to appear above the Yankee offices in Tampa has officially begun.

• The Detroit Tigers decided Ivan Rodriguez was worth another $13 million. The Tigers exercised an option Tuesday on the All-Star catcher's contract, retaining him for a fifth season at a hefty price

• Agent Scott Boras hinted Tuesday that A-Rod will opt out of the final three seasons of his contract with the New York Yankees and seek a new deal in the free-agent market that will lock him up through his pursuit of Barry Bonds' home-run record. Fine then leave. Just fucking go already. I'm fixin to go. Just go. I don't want to hear about it again until he's gone.

• An already difficult second NFL season came to an end for Arizona's Matt Leinart on Tuesday when he was placed on injured reserve with a broken collarbone. Attention co-eds and starlets.... Matt will need to be nursed back to health.

• Dr Z. is calling mofos out. Flat out smackdown for the coaching ranks. I would provide highlights, but you must read the whole article. Chopping up Dr. Z's work disfigures art.

Fear-driven football Bills, Packers lost because of coaches' cowardice.

• Skeletons in the closet? If you are a MLB umpire then the league office has an inquiring mind. (They seem to share one rarely used mind.)

"While we cannot stop Major League Baseball from questioning the umpires' neighbors and friends, we can tell them that they are under no legal or other obligation to speak with the investigators," World Umpires Association spokesman Lamell McMorris said Tuesday.

• An absolute gem from Awful Announcing.

"I understand that Fans get upset when "their" team loses, and sometime cry. But a broadcaster live on-air? I think that's unprecedented. Well that's exactly what Yankees radio announcer Suzyn Waldman did during the postgame show on WFAN last night. Here's the audio." WCBS 880 Audio

Read the article. Listen, enjoy and laugh.

• I can't write a Nighty Cap at 2 AM anymore since I had to rejoin the rat race. But I miss the quick hits, the snarkiness, the pictures of the hot chicks. So instead I will try to recap the things that occurred the previous day that you just shouldn't miss.

• Denver Broncos tailback Travis Henry, the NFL's leading rusher through the first four weeks of the season, is facing a one-year suspension for a repeat violation of the substance abuse policy, multiple sources told ESPN.com on Thursday night.

But in a battle that has reached the federal court system, Henry is attempting to block the league from testing the so-called "B-sample" necessary to confirm the positive test, claiming that NFL officials would not allow his expert to be present for the testing of his specimen.

Where in the phone book do you look for drug testing expert? It sure is a nice addition to an NFL player's entourage.

• Rockies manager Clint Hurdle downplayed video that showed closer Manny Corpas pouring liquid on his body in the bullpen before pitching against Philadelphia in Game 1 of their NL playoff series.

Corpas was caught by TBS cameras on Wednesday taking a sip of a liquid out of a cup, then pouring some down the back of his neck and all over the front of his jersey. Corpas, who earned the save in Colorado's 4-2 win, patted his chest and rubbed his fingers before throwing a pitch.

I say if he drank it first it had to be water. Even Gaylord Perry didn't drink his own goo.

• Daily News Headline: Indians hammer Wang. That's just shameful. We have significantly better Wang headlines right here.

• Here is more proof that the Indians are cheating to beat the Yankees.

• Squawking Baseball was able to secure an interview with Nationals skipper Manny Acta. I must say it is very well done.

• Count me in the group that dislikes the visor wearing ball coach. I have never cared for Spurrier and I never will. But the man can recruit and coach. He is doing something with South Carolina no one else, including Lou Holtz, has been able to do.

• The mismanagement of the Pirates continues. I am almost at a loss for words at the lack of professionalism the Pirates front office has displayed regarding Jim Tracy. They can't even decide what day they will make a decision. If I was a Pirate season ticket holder I would make my choice with my wallet.

• I can't write a Nighty Cap at 2 AM anymore since I had to rejoin the rat race. But I miss the quick hits, the snarkiness, the pictures of the hot chicks. So instead I will try to recap the things that occurred the previous day that you just shouldn't miss. Speaking of the previous day.....

• I will presume that at some point today the Fail Blazers will be firing the team doctors. They are calling it a micro-fracture which in plain English means, it's really tough to see and though I was looking I was also booking a tee time and on the phone with my broker, so we didn't fuck up that bad.

• "Major League Baseball is eyeing the development of a mass-use blood test for human growth hormone and would push to have it implemented next season if it were available, USA Today reported. "

I hope someone told MLB that there is no test for HGH just yet and there may never be a reliable test. But hey, that's one hell of a strong statement. Here is my equally strong statement.

"Ed Zipper is eyeing the development of mass-use manna from heaven and would push to implement it immediately, to end world hunger, if it were available."

What a bunch of fucking clowns. They should move the MLB office to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

• NFL commissioner Roger Goodell visited injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett on Thursday morning, spending 90 minutes with the tight end who sustained a severe spinal cord injury.

Goodell then fined Everett $10,000 for not wearing a Reebok hospital gown.

• Dr Z. has his power rankings and the first major surprise is the Titans listed at #4. That is not a typo.

• Here is apro Red Sawx column heading into this weekend's series. Since it can't be Bucky Dent or Aaron Boone, who will it be this time?

• RB Shaun Alexander practiced fully Wednesday, but did so wearing a brace on his left hand. It is unclear exactly what the injury is (hand or wrist) and Alexander did not address the media after practice. Adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly.

• After going 7½ weeks without getting tossed, Bobby Cox finally passed John McGraw for the most ejections in baseball history Tuesday night.

• Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman was arrested Tuesday night after charging the mound and hitting the pitcher and catcher with his bat during an independent minor league game.

Bridgeport police said Offerman was arrested and later posted bond, but did not detail the charge. According to the Connecticut Post, a source said Offerman was charged with second-degree assault.

Offerman, playing for the Long Island Ducks in the Atlantic League, homered in the first inning. The next inning, he was hit by a pitch from Bridgeport's Matt Beech and charged the mound with his bat.

• 1st Round updates: The Tigers and first-round draft pick Rick Porcello reached agreement Tuesday on a four-year contract worth $7.28 million.

The Rangers and first-round draft pick Blake Beavan agreed Tuesday night to a minor league contract with a signing bonus of about $1.5 million.

• Nats' sixth-round pick to attend Stanford. Jack McGeary will forgo professional baseball and attend Stanford University, which the Nationals were expecting all along.

This I don't understand. He always wanted 1st round money, they never expected to sign him and the franchise is the suck. There is no compensation for an unsigned 6th rounder, so I ask again, what the hell is going on in Washington?

• Reds shortstop Alex Gonzalez once again is not with the Reds, remaining in Cincinnati to be with his gravely ill 10-month-old son Johan. This must be one of the toughest things to ever have to endure in life. Let our prayers and good thoughts go to the Gonzalez family.

• Yogi talks about his friendship with the Scooter. A wonderful article, even if it was in the Post, New York version.

• Clock ticking for Royals on signing Mike Moustakas. This probably won't happen. Good work KC and Bore Ass.

"MLB's slot recommendation for this year's No. 2 pick is $3.15 million, and Boras has indicated he's not interested in baseball's slot system."

"Owner David Glass is close with commissioner Bud Selig and may not want to deviate from the recommendations."

I have thought for quite some time that David Glass, an extremely wealthy man (Wal-Mart) was Bud's personal small market toady. This is just an example of why revenue sharing doesn't work in baseball. A team can suck and yet still turn a healthy product.

• "We want to make sure all NFL players, coaches and staff members are fully informed and take advantage of the most up-to-date information and resources as we continue to study the long-term impact of concussions," commissioner Roger Goodell said Tuesday in making the announcement.

I question if this policy is good enough. The NFL has acted very ostrich-like regarding this problem and then fights most of these players on their disability insurance. ESPN constantly brings on doctors who show data proving the tremendous effects of these concussions post-mortem.

Why can't the richest league in sports take care of the former players adversely affected? Why fight the insurance claims? How many more Mike Websters are out there? Goodell should monitor his own behavior.

• Dontrelle Willis earned his first win since May 29, striking out 11 in seven innings and letting the Marlins' bats do the rest in a 14-5 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks.

• The Yankees are beginning to make their Tiger Woods charge on the final 18. New York improved to 19-7 since the All-Star break, moved 12 games over .500 for the first time this year and stopped Toronto's home winning streak at eight. The Yankees, 9½ games back in the wild-card race after play on July 7, remained a half-game behind Detroit, the AL wild-card leader.

• So where has the Nighty Cap been? I have recently re-entered the rat race, the daily grind, and let me say I failed to appreciate just how good I had it only one month ago. I am now actually working for a living and I had forgotten how difficult it can be. So while I toil away let me just say I have a new found respect for those of you that haven't had a 12 year semi-sabbatical.

• Skeletons in he closet? Umpires say "fuck off". I was only surprised to learn that background checks had not previously been performed.

• Sometimes it is very evident that Charlie Weiss coached for the Hoodie.

Coach Charlie Weis wasn't giving any hints Monday on who Notre Dame's starting quarterback will be this season -- and doesn't plan to until the Fighting Irish take the field against Georgia Tech on Sept. 1.

"I certainly don't want to tell Georgia Tech what I'm doing because I'd rather they spent more time having to figure: Are they going to play a true drop-back quarterback? Are they going to play an athletic quarterback?" Weis said. "I'm not really in the business of giving out free information."

We can wager that whoever he does choose will suck in the NFL.

• Many people have been asking what can go wrong for the Cubbies. We all knew it would be something.

• Sometimes literal interpretation of the law can be such bullshit. And this time a lawyer learned this himself.

"An attorney has been suspended from the Florida Bar for 60 days for his an apparent role in the theft of two Florida State University national football championship trophies, officials said Monday.

Jason Paul Rojas was a staff attorney for the state's utility regulator when he was arrested in November 2005."

• The Joba era has begun.

• There is trouble in Washington DC and it has something to do with a President, but nothing to do with the government.

• Bonds' woman on the side is cashing in. Instead of just getting naked for the HEAD she shall disrobe for all of us. Now we can view the ass that Barry can't tap anymore. And she is also going to share some secrets with us, loyal Playboy readers.

"The Playboy article, accompanied by a nude pictorial of Kimberly Bell, is scheduled to hit newsstands Oct. 1. The 37-year-old Bell said the article will cover details of her relationship with Bonds that she told a grand jury investigating the perjury allegations in 2005."

• Remember Boise State's kick ass Fiesta Bowl win? For me it was one of the best college football games I ever watched. Afterwards the running back proposed to the cheerleader, well there seems to be some problems in lily-white Boise.

"A Boise State University running back who scored the winning points in the Fiesta Bowl, then proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend on national television, has hired security for his weekend wedding because of racial threats, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Ian Johnson, who is black, and his fiance, Chrissy Popadics, who is white, are due to be married Saturday in Boise." You stay classy and racist Boise.

• The Big Unit could be done. Randy Johnson pitched to batters for the first time in his latest comeback from a back injury on Tuesday, then acknowledged the possibility that he might not return this season -- or maybe ever. Maybe the Yanks can still sign him anyway.

• Chris Carpenter won't see the mound again this season. I like the guy but you had to see this coming at some point with his previous injury problems. The only real surprise here is that he wasn't on my fantasy team.

• Zambrano becomes the first 13th game winner in the NL.

• Dice K and Sabathia duel to a 1-0 Red Sox win. This is notable because there aren't that many 1-0 games anymore. Ahh the old days.

• Tarik Glenn, a three-time Pro Bowl tackle for the Indianapolis Colts, announced Tuesday he will retire from the NFL because he no longer has the passion he once had for football. Watch out now Peyton.

• As a Dolphin's fan I was concerned about the off-season. The team has slipped far behind most of the league in the arrest category. Thankfully, Chris Chambers has come through for us with a DUI.

Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chris Chambers was arrested early Saturday on charges of driving while impaired and speeding.

• New York can be a dangerous place. A tourist who suffered a broken neck at Yankee Stadium when another fan fell on him is recovering from his injuries.

Paul Robinson, 53, of Kirkland, Wash., was sitting in the stadium's steep upper deck with his wife and 13-year-old son last Sunday when an unidentified fan standing above him took a violent tumble down several rows of seats.

• It is very apparent that Ben Sheets never took an Anatomy and Physiology class. I don't even think he took health class in high school. The Brewer's pitcher who is usually injured by June every year has amazingly lasted until July. And now this.

Milwaukee All-Star Ben Sheets left Saturday's game against the Colorado Rockies in the fourth inning with a sprained middle finger on his right hand, but team officials said they didn't think the injury was serious.

But that's not the best part. You have to save the punch line for the end. In Ben's own words: "I'm kind of optimistic. I think I'll be alright," Sheets said. "Hopefully, it's like a groin strain."

• Biggio to the bench? The hell you say. Craig Biggio's playing time could be reduced during the second half of the season, especially on the road, as the Houston Astros give Chris Burke a longer look at second base.

Biggio, who got his 3,000th hit on June 28, is OK with the arrangement, manager Phil Garner said Saturday, adding that the plan could change should Biggio go on a hitting tear. Burke started Saturday at second base and batted leadoff against the Chicago Cubs.

• In the off season no one wanted Sammy Sosa except the Texas Rangers. What makes them think anyone wants him now?

• From the redundant department of redundancy, Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson are in trouble with the NBA again. Each get to sit 7 games next season, but hang on sports fans, we are only one month into the NBA off-season.

• Sometimes it is location, location, location. Titans fans hopeful for a winning season under Vince Young showed their enthusiasm by extending the team's sellout streak to 91 games.

Especially popular were tickets to the Sept. 16 home opener against Super Bowl champions Indianapolis. Those tickets were gone in about two minutes, said Don MacLachlan, Titans executive vice president of administration and facilities.

• One of the few Bengals not to get arrested this year is not expected to play this season. Bengals linebacker David Pollack, who broke a bone in his neck during a game last season, isn't expected to play this year, the club said Friday.

"He is working extremely hard and will continue focusing his efforts on rehabilitating with our medical staff," coach Marvin Lewis said.

• Sheff spouts off again. I am not saying I agree or disagree with him, but it is refreshing to have a player talk some straight shit. In his own words: ""They came to me, they asked me certain questions and whatever you ask me I'm going to answer," Sheffield said before Friday night's game in Seattle. "Whether you like it or not I'm going to answer."

• In a statement released on Thursday, Seve Ballesteros officially denied reports that he attempted suicide last month.

The 50-year-old Spaniard said he is doing fine despite rumors of a suicide attempt and heart problems

• The Indianapolis Colts have signed defensive end Dwight Freeney to a long-term contract that will make him among the NFL's most highly paid defensive players.

Freeney and the Colts agreed to a six-year, $72 million contract that includes a $30 million signing bonus, Freeney's agent, Gary Wichard, said Friday. The Colts also issued a statement saying they had reached an agreement with Freeney, but did not elaborate.

• The Memphis Grizzlies on Friday signed forward-center Darko Milicic, the No. 2 overall pick in the 2003 draft who is joining his third team. This is just what the Grizzlies need to suck even more.

• Ok this isn't sports but it is so Rickey Henderson like, it is too good to pass up. Teacher Dave Barclay flew thousands of miles across the Atlantic to Wales to attend his friend's wedding, only to discover he was a year early. Barclay, 34, was told about the wedding earlier in the year and assumed it was to take place in 2007.

It was only when he had flown into Cardiff from Toronto, Canada, and rang the bridegroom seeking details of the venue that he discovered the wedding was in 2008.

• Speaking of Rickey Henderson here are some of the best Rickey stories.

In the early 1980s, the Oakland A's accounting department was freaking out. The books were off $1 million. After an investigation, it was determined Rickey was the reason why. The GM asked him about a $1 million bonus he had received and Rickey said instead of cashing it, he framed it and hung it on a wall at his house.

San Diego GM Kevin Towers was trying to contact Rickey at a nearby hotel. He knew Henderson always used fake names to avoid the press, fans, etc. He was trying to think like Rickey and after several attempts; he was able to get Henderson on the phone.

Rickey had checked in under Richard Pryor.

• Phoenix Coyotes assistant coach Rick Tocchet walked away from the World Series of Poker's main event, forfeiting his $10,000 entry fee. His no-show Wednesday came a day after his participation in the tournament made headlines. He was "blinded" out of the event. He had a stack of $17,000, and when it was his turn to ante a blind, the dealer put the chips in until they ran out. Tocchet is on an indefinite leave of absence from the NHL team, where he was an assistant coach for Wayne Gretzky. He is awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty in May to running a sports gambling ring.

• The Hardball Times has a video break down of whom they think will be sleepers in this year's draft. The video and science is worth a look, these guys are real baseball geeks.

• Oops I guess we fucked up. On July 28th the Arizona Diamondbacks will take on the Atlanta Braves at 12:55pm and the first 35,000 fans will recieve a Carlos Quentin bobblehead...only one problem, in all likelihood Carlos won't be there. Last week Quentin was sent back to Triple-A Tucson due to lack of production in his time with the Diamondbacks.

•The Brew crew will be short an integral part for a while. Brewers center fielder Bill Hall badly sprained his right ankle while leaping to try to catch Ryan Doumit's solo home run for Pittsburgh in the second inning Thursday and will be out indefinitely.

•Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenly said he hasn't heard from the Reds about their managerial opening, despite a report in Cincinnati saying the former big-league catcher and World Series-champion manager was on a short list of candidates.

•Isiah Thomas isn't finished revamping the Knicks' starting lineup and he is now focusing his sights on a small forward.

Thomas, the Knicks' president and head coach, already has had discussions with Seattle free agent Rashard Lewis. Toronto's Morris Peterson is also a free agent and there is a possibility that Thomas could make a run at Sacramento's Ron Artest.

That should work well having Artest in the Big Apple. He is crazy enough to actually fit right in.

•People are literally begging for Kobe to stay in LA. The lastest is Flea from The Red Hot Chili Peppers. He writes similar to e.e. cummings.

dear kobe,

i have been a huge supporter of you since the moment you first put
on a laker uniform
i have stood by you and defended you against your detractors
throughout every moment of your professional basketball career
i have always respected your work ethic
your unrelenting desire to give your all night in and night out
and your creative and exciting basketball game......dope!!!
i have sincerely hoped the best for you at every turn
i have also been a laker fan since i was a boy
i am now 44 and i love the lakers the same as when i was 11, but deeper

•The Chinese standoff continues in Milwaukee.

"[We] won't sit here and do nothing just because he was picked by Milwaukee," Zhao Gang, one of Yi's representatives, told the official China Daily newspaper Tuesday. "We are considering Yi's future at the Bucks and are looking at trade possibilities."


Harris has no plans to comply.


"We're not trading him," Harris told SI.com. "We like him and we think this is a great opportunity for him. He'll get a chance to play a lot of minutes right away for a good team.

•Is the NFL trying to cash in on the mania of Japanese baseball players?

The Atlanta Falcons went long-distance shopping when adding a wide receiver Thursday.

The Falcons signed Noriaki Kinoshita, a native of Osaka, Japan who played the last three years with the Amsterdam Admirals of NFL Europa.
Kinoshita, 5-foot-10 and 179 pounds, ranked fourth in the league in kickoff returns with 532 yards and added 21 catches for 308 yards and two touchdowns.

In 2006, Kinoshita led the league in kickoff returns with 19 for 530 yards, an average of 27.9 yards per return.

Kinoshita is the second player from Japan to sign with the Falcons. The first, tight end Nachi Abe, lasted 10 days in the 2000 preseason.

•Here is a Detroit Tigers Blog written by an 11yo kid. Makes some of the posts in the Swamp look shameful.

•Oswalt replacing Smoltz as All-Star.

•Chris Young of the Padres and Hideki Okajima of the Red Sox are the selections in the sixth annual All-Star Final Vote.

• Brad Wilkerson becomes first AL player with 3-HR game this year.

• As long as Al Davis is alive the suffering cannot end for the Raiders. Yesterday the last lawsuit Al had against the NFL was dismissed and now this.

Oakland Raiders running back Dominic Rhodes was suspended Tuesday for the first four games of the season for violating the league's substance abuse policy.

• And now another group is pissed off at MLB. The new interim president of the NAACP belittled baseball's efforts to boost black participation, chastising the sport in a letter Tuesday to commissioner Bud Selig.

• Dark days for Milicic. After acquiring Rashard Lewis, the Magic decided they no longer needed a European stiff in the paint.

• The Chicago Bears reached a contract agreement with top pick Greg Olsen, on Tuesday, making the former University of Miami tight end the initial first-round selection in the league to come to terms on his rookie contract.

• When I read this, honestly, it choked me up. The Seattle Super Sonics have scheduled a Thursday news conference amid reports that the team has hired P.J. Carlesimo as its new head coach.

• Jose Mesa helps Phils inch closer to their 10,000 loss. Hunter Pence homered to lead off the bottom of the 13th inning to give Houston the win. The Astros had tied the game in the bottom of the ninth and won for the eighth time in their last nine home games.

• Ozzie Guillen speaks out about Scott Posednick. "He's unreliable, there's no doubt," manager Ozzie Guillen said. "Now, he's got a different injury. Now, it's not his legs. Now, it's his side. It's important for the ballclub to have a guy like him, but in the meanwhile, when you can't count on a guy day-in and day-out, it's hard. I know Pods is upset, he's sad. ... Right now, it's hard to say I count on this kid when I know I can't."

• Percival perseveres. Almost two years after he retired, Troy Percival returned to the big leagues.

The St. Louis Cardinals called up the former All-Star closer on Tuesday, hoping he can help a bullpen that has struggled this season.

• Wednesday night will be a record for old fuckers in baseball when seven pitchers in their 40s are scheduled to start.

The New York Yankees' Roger Clemens (44), Philadelphia's Jamie Moyer (44), Detroit's Kenny Rogers (42), San Diego's Greg Maddux (41), the New York Mets' Tom Glavine (41), Houston's Woody Williams (40) and Atlanta's John Smoltz (40) are set to pitch on the same day.

• Andruw Jones is redefining the term contract year. Jones was mired in a 1-for-31 slump that had knocked his average below .200. In fact, he had gone 53 at-bats without managing even an extra-base hit since his last homer: June 9 off Jason Marquis of the Chicago Cubs .

But, with two outs and two runners aboard in the fifth, Jones got hold of a 3-1 pitch from Mike Bacsik (1-5). The hitter's back foot literally came off the ground as he ripped into the pitch, a reminder of the form that produced 92 homers over the last two seasons.

• I know I was wondering what LeBron would do. Yawn.....

Cleveland's All-Star forward ended uncertainty about his status with the U.S. national team on Tuesday night by saying he will play in next month's FIBA America's Tournament, where the Americans will try to qualify for the 2008 Olympics.

Try to qualify. Oh how the mighty have fallen. USA! USA! We're number 8. We're number 8.

• I never thought I would ever see Mike Ditka addressing congress. Next Donald Trump will dance at Rosie O'Donnel's wedding (to a man).

Former NFL players told a sympathetic House Judiciary subcommittee tales of multiple surgeries, dementia and homelessness, all while trying to fight through the red tape of the National Football League and the NFL Players Association's disability system.

I believe that pro football shortens life spans and grinds players into nothing. With the billions the league has, to torture these former players financially is a sin of the highest order. It is time for the NFL to do the right thing.

• How hot is James Loney? Magma, that's how hot. He is so hot that Nomar has moved across the diamond to third base, that is until Nomar goes back to the disabled list. Loney has played in 11 games and only has a 1.363 OPS.

• Roger Clemens in the year 2057.

• Miguel Olivo is obviously not Ray Fosse. Rather than crumbling like bleu cheese (a France reference) at the plate, Olivo stood his ground to the point that reigning AL MVP Justin Morneau was spitting up blood.

Morneau was coughing up blood repeatedly when he was taken from the stadium on a stretcher, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said. But X-rays taken at the hospital were negative and a CT scan was normal, team spokesman Mike Herman said.

• When we had our fantasy baseball auction I thought if I selected Miguel Tejada he would play in all 162 games. He had a streak of 1,152 games end Friday. Such is the curse of my team. Cya Jason Schmidt. Cya Miggy. It could be worse though, my name could have the word Bengal in it somewhere.

• A Tank speeds through Arizona. Only problem is this one is named Johnson and not Sherman.

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson was pulled over for speeding in his home state of Arizona early Friday and police said they drew blood from the NFL player to determine whether he was drunk.

• It seems curious that now that ESPN covers redneck racin, that their top headline story is about some failed racing inspections. It is certainly not the top story of the day, but it is important to the WWLIS.

• This is one way to go.

A lifelong minor league baseball fan has rounded the bases one last time before being laid to rest.

Elizabethton Twins coaches escorted the casket of Larry "Moe" Riddle, 61, around the fan-lined diamond, and the team's general manager called him "safe" at home plate Thursday during a citywide memorial service at the team's home field, located just east of Johnson City.

• Elijah Dukes was demoted and placed on inactive list. The Devil Rays hope this move will help Dukes get his life back together. I think the only move that's going to help is a lobotomy.

• The A's just can't get rid of Milton Bradley. Frustrated outfielder Milton Bradley was dealt to the Kansas City Royals on Friday, only to be sent back to the A's later that night.

• I was thinking about discussing today's latte experience and then I realized I am not a pussy that drinks lattes like some guys that write about sports.

• Have you heard about Ryan Braun. Be careful if you make a fantasy move for him as there are two Ryan Brauns. One sucks and the other is tearing it up for the Brew Crew. Just missing the cycle tonight he went 4-4 with 3 RBI's.

• The Tar Heels will play defending champion Oregon State in only the second finals rematch in the CWS' 61-year history. It is the first since Arizona State and Southern California met in 1972 and 1973. The best-of-three series starts Saturday.

• Attorneys for Floyd Landis have acknowledged the upcoming release of the Tour de France winner's tell-all book violates the gag order in his arbitration case against the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.

• The Cubs keep inventing new ways to lose. Lou Pinella must have been a real bastard in a former life to deserve this.

Kenny Lofton was stuck between second and third base, seemingly a sure out for the Texas Rangers in the bottom of the ninth inning.

''I was just trying to figure out what I can do in that position,'' Lofton said. ''You just have to react.''

And wait for the Chicago Cubs to make another mistake.

• A Padres fan in San Diego did his Pacman Jones impersonation by making it rain during the game. He only used singles though. Kinda like the Padres.

Padres spokesman George Stieren said the bills were thrown by a fan in a suite on the third-base side of the downtown ballpark. The fan was ejected.

"I was ready to call time out and put some in my pocket, although I didn't see any 20s or 50s or 100s," Wells said. "It was kind of cool. It was fun for the fans. It wasn't fun for me."

• From the Hardball Times:

Alex Rodriguez will exercise the opt-out clause in his contract.

How can we be sure?

Simple, A-Rod's agent, Scott Boras, is laying the seeds for his next contract the same way he did back in 2000. Back then, Boras was stating that Rodriguez could well command a contract of 10 years and $200 million.

• Today the Oakland A's designated Milton Bradley for assignment. I guess he doesn't have game anymore.

• Adios Anibel. Florida Marlins right-hander Anibal Sanchez will miss the rest of the season after undergoing an operation Thursday that repaired a torn labrum in his pitching shoulder.

• I know there are some Philly Phans around here. I do not mention this to rub it in, it's actually newsworthy.

No franchise in any sport has lost more games than the futile Phillies. Now, they're nearing an ignominious mark: 10,000 losses. Going into Friday night's game at St. Louis, the Phillies were 10 shy of that unimaginable number.

It would take one loss every day for more than 27 years to reach 10,000. To make it worse, the Phillies have just one World Series championship (1980) in 125 years.

• Dr Z is a red wine swilling, red head loving, football writer for SI. He actually writes about football. Here is his latest latte free mailbag.

• Keeping up with the Bengals. Green Bay Packers linebacker Nick Barnett was arrested early Sunday morning after a disturbance at a drinking establishment, police said.

• Lining the banks of San Antonio's famed River Walk, tens of thousands of fans decked out in the Spurs' colors waited in the oppressive heat to catch a glimpse of their favorite players and congratulate the team.

• The A's will be giving fantasy owners a break by bringing Mike Piazza back from the DL as a catcher. At this point in his career Piazza couldn't throw out Christopher Reeve.

• The "Beer Man" is unemployed. Michael Lewis was known as "Beer Man" because he drove a beer truck before getting a tryout with his hometown team and making the roster at age 29, soon becoming the team's star return man.

• Wang has strong outing, comes up big versus Mets.

"Wang is remarkable," Yankees manager Joe Torre said.

• The first and only owner of the Buffalo Bills has no plans to sell the team in his lifetime.

Ralph Wilson told The Buffalo News that the team will be sold after he dies and that he does not plan to leave the Bills to his wife, Mary.

"I think she's capable and she could do it, but it would be tough," the 88-year-old said. "My daughters are interested in the game, but they're not going to own the team."

So at 88, that could be next week.

• From Baseball Musings:

The Minnesota Twins blew a 9-2 lead today but scored in the bottom of the ninth to defeat Milwaukee 10-9. What was unusual is that Milwaukee hit five home runs today, include two by Hart and number 25 by Fielder. In the 51 seasons covered by the Day by Day Database, the winning percentage when allowing five home runs in a game is .107 (98-820) coming into today. Even in the era of higher offense starting in 1993, the winning percentage when allowing five is just .090 (49-494). The Twins got lucky today.

• Here is the very latest Home Run Park Factor from the guys over at Harball Times.

• The Angels are making a mockery of this Freeway Series rivalry. The Angels finish the season series with their fifth win in six games, outscoring the Dodgers, 33-10, along the way.

• Orioles losing streak reaches eight and the Perlozzo watch is on.

• Jason Kendall's leadoff homer in the sixth off the facade in left-center was his first home run since May 31, 2006, a span of 157 games and 619 at-bats.

• It wasn't Brad Lidge for a change. Houston reliever Dan Wheeler blew a save, then shoved starter Chris Sampson in the dugout on Wednesday night, an ugly twist to the Astros' frustrating season.

• Baseball commissioner Bud Selig is "heading toward" suspending Jason Giambi next week if he doesn't cooperate with the steroids investigation.

I may be one of the few here that isn't a lawyer, but hey what is this Russia? There might be a couple of vague legal sticking points like, define cooperation.

• Just another example of how the NFL is run by a bunch of idiots. Rather than following Chris Henry 24/7 they have to worry about Coach Mike Nolan wanting to wear a suit. Belichick's hoodie is ok, but a suit no way. Until now.... Mike Nolan and Jacksonville Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio got permission from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday to wear suits and ties to all eight of their clubs' regular-season home games in 2007.

• Jake Peavy - ERA 1.82

• The Yankees won their eighth straight last night. A-rod hit his 25th to lead the majors. You know you love to hate, get over it and move on.

• Schilling took a pounding at the hands of the Rockies. Can't wait to see that blog entry.

• The blue horseshoe. The Lombardi Trophy in the middle of the Colts' logo. Even a red ruby to represent the figurative blood shed by the Colts over the course of the season. And, of course, the Super Bowl rings were all handed out Wednesday night on, what else, a silver platter.

• ESPN's mobile phone service was a business failure of epic proportions. Having sold less than 10,000 units they scurried home defeated. And yet something has risen from those ashes. ESPN MVP. It's a phone service with Verizon. Obviously Verizon felt that their stock price was too high and resolved to rectify that situation.

In their commercial, which runs every 47 seconds during SportsCenter, we are shown a chump, who has unfortunately spawned, who could keep track of sports "while performing is fatherly duties". The irony of the Disney company telling adults it is okay to deceive and lie to children. What will they think of next?

• The Stanley Cup playoffs are thankfully over and a team full of players with unpronounceable European and Russian names were triumphant. I can hardly wait for the next lock out. Best thing Bettman ever did.

• This is the lowest of the low. About $16,000 worth of belongings was reported stolen from the home of the late Marquise Hill's mother while she was at the funeral for her son, a New England Patriots lineman who drowned last week, police said Wednesday.

• Here is a baseball milestone I can get behind. Hoffman records save No. 500.

• So will Thursday's MLB Draft outdraw the Stanley Cup playoffs? The Steven A Shit show? Please, other than the intern, find something else for yourself to do.

• So in Sunday's Sopranos finale, will Jason Giambi be whacked for being a rat? Will he name names?

• Cat Fight. Annika says Wie is rude. Wie says, she herself is stubborn. One looks like Walter Matthau. Go Michelle, you do whatever you want. See you in the Quad Cities soon.

• Brandon Webb wins 1-0 against Matt Morris and the Giants. When you watch the highlight look for Eric Byrnes throw to the plate to gun down a runner. He throws so hard that he flips himself over. Brandon Webb is the Nighty Cap's player of the day.

• It seems that Kevin Durant cannot bench press 185lbs. Some people are making this a big deal and I don't know why. Kevin will have more that enough money to pay people to lift things for him.

• Not to beat a dead horse, but HBO had started to air a documentary on Barbaro. In this epic piece of film making Barbaro discusses his disadvantaged youth, his tattoos, the palimony lawsuits, rehab and his premature death. Make sure not to miss it, it is only on about 534 times this month.

• You may have missed this since the Sawx are playing on the left coast. They have lost four straight. Start spreading the news........

• I know that this is early in the day for a Nighty Cap but I will be busy this evening with my nuptuals. I hope not to pull a Giambi and rip a foot muscle when breaking the glass.

• Salomon Torres is no longer the Bucs closer. A tremendous source of cheap saves, he has turned the closer's job over to Matt Capps. Adjust your fantasy roster accordingly.

• Possessing one of the worst names ever for a pitcher didn't effect Kevin Slowey in his major league debut. Taking Ortiz's spot in the rotation the Twins have finally decided to trust youth over washed up retreads. Seems they did the same thing last year. Will Terry Ryan learn about this before or after he is fired?

• Sheff will sit for 3 games for his latest umpire related outburst. Ironically, he offered to help Elijah Dukes with his issues. Also Josh Bard was given a 3 game suspension, but as a back-up catcher I do not see how that will impact his team.

• The Gator shuffle has begun. Fortunately for Florida their AD is one of the most highly praised in the land. First on Jeremy Foley's list is Virginia Commonwealth coach Anthony Grant. No word if Houston Nutt called about the opening.

• MRI reveals no break in Mickelson's wrist. EKG reveals no heart.

• The city of Detroit has taken a beating this week at the hands of Cleveland. The latest, "the mistake by the lake" drowns the motor city with five in the ninth.

• FIFA has banned international games from being played at high altitudes. I don't know about soccer but high altitudes can really cut down on your bar bill.

• A blogger has come to the defense of Jason Giambi. Pitcher fucker, Alyssa Milano weighs (that's funny) in on the subject of steroids and botox.

• Apparently there was a sexy Danica Patrick ad that viewers did not get to see during the raining of the Indy 415.

• Jake Peavy continues to make strides toward the Cy Young I have predicted for him the past three years. We are all right, eventually.

• Many people have said that Juan Pierre is just in the way since signing his absurd contract with the Dodgers. Well being in the way paid off Saturday as the game ended in a walk-off hit batsmen.

• Mark Cuban cannot even take a break during his vacation. In his latest blog entry he devises a method for solving the draft lottery.

What makes this system potentially exciting is that teams will have something to play for at the every end of the season. How much fun would it have been watching Boston and Memphis compete to win enough games to get the #1 pick?

• Get out the brooms this weekend. Boston swept Texas, Cleveland swept Detroit and the Yankees were cheated out of three straight by the Cali/Oceanside/LongBeach/Anaheim Angels.

• Rumor has it that the Governator will drop the puck at center ice for the Stanley Cup championship. Can we please wrap this up before July?

• Just when you thought people could not get any dumber, we have this:

Computer specialist Didier Stevens put up a simple text advertisement on the Internet offering downloads of a computer virus for people who did not have any.

Surprisingly, he found as many as 409 people clicking on the ad saying "Is your PC virus-free? Get it infected here!" during a 6-month advertising campaign on Google's Adword, said the IT security expert.

• Rashard Lewis may not like Kevin Durant too much. His agent said Friday night that the SuperSonics' longest-tenured player and second-leading scorer had officially opted out of the final two years of his Seattle contract.

• We have had a lot of questionable sports news this week. But the basketball coach at FAMU was charged with stalking. At least there is an actual arrest to report. Except he says it never happened. The school is having financial problems so sticking with the coach may be a financial decision.

• The Brewers announced late Thursday night that Ryan Braun, 23, their top everyday prospect in the minor leagues, was being summoned from Class AAA Nashville. What a great name for a slugger. His 1st game - 1 for 4 with 2 RBI's

• The Ombudsman speaks and she is not happy. She skewers the WWLIS lack of hockey coverage and blames it on not having broadcast rights any longer.

If you chip five minutes off "SportsCenter" here and there for a sponsored segment, another five minutes here and there for recycled portions of shoulder programming and more minutes for teasers leading up to those segments, there often seems to be nothing left for news of sports other than those for which ESPN holds rights. Nobody needs marching orders. The formula itself is skewed toward the sports that pay their way.

• El Duque, comes off the disabled list and retires 17 straight Marlins. El Duque's age equals the Marlins starting infield. According to Joe Morgan this would be a bad outing because Hernandez didn't win the game and that's the only pitching stat that matters.

• Baseball Musings on Elijah Dukes:

Elijah Dukes starts and bats leadoff for the Devil Rays tonight, and in the seventh inning erases a 4-1 deficit with a three-run homer off Mark Buehrle. No word on whether Dukes sent a picture of his bat to Buehrle's cell phone before the plate appearance.

• Braves reliever Mike Gonzalez will miss the rest of the season and at least half of 2008 after learning he must have reconstructive elbow surgery. So much for replacing Wickman like some speculative fantasy owners thought.

• Atlanta Braves second baseman Brandon Monk was suspended for 50 games Friday following a positive test for a performance-enhancing drug under baseball's minor league program.

Monk, a 20-year-old Valley, Ala., native and graduate of LaGrange (Ga.) High School, was selected by the Braves in the seventh round of the 2005 amateur draft and was hitting .174 with no homers and six RBIs season at Rome of the Class A South Atlantic League.

Batting .174 imagine what he would have hit without the drugs. Dude get an application at UPS. The dream is over. You want to at least bat your weight.

• A former stripper was sentenced to nearly three-and-a-half years in federal prison Friday for attempting to embezzle more than $1 million from a bank to start her own NASCAR racing team. Certainly gvies a whole new meanng for pole qualifying.

• Look at the size of that guys head in the post below. It reminds me of some cartoon character.

• Jack Cust's fifth homer in four games capped a five-run ninth inning that helped the Athletics rally for a victory over the Indians. That's 6 home runs in 26 at bats.

• Torii Hunter homered twice and drove in a career-high seven, as the Twins stopped a four-game skid with a 16-4 rout of the Tigers. Hunter was just 1-for-13 in the previous three games. It was a game even Boof Bosner could win.

• Canada used a different formula to achieve familiar results at the world hockey championships.

Relying on youngsters and journeymen instead of stars, the Canadians defeated Finland 4-2 Sunday to win their third world title in five years and their 24th overall.

• The Minnesota Twins have given up on Sidney Ponson.

"If nothing happens, nothing happens. No problem. I'll just go sit on the beach." Sidney, you better make sure Greenpeace doesn't try to save you. Now go have some plankton and fuck off.

• The Rockies sent Byung-Hyun Kim to Florida for fellow righty Jorge Julio. Yawn.

• Felix Hernandez, on the disabled list because of a strained forearm, is scheduled to start Tuesday at home against the Los Angeles Angels.

• Free at last, free at last. Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson was released from jail Sunday after spending two months behind bars for violating parole in a 2005 weapons case

• Takeo Spikes speaks out about troubled players in the NFL.

"You don't have to punish a guy for one time or a second time," said Spikes, "because it may be something totally different or something minor. But when you get three, four or five times, that's no accident. That's not being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and someone has to be held accountable."

• For the first time in 18 years the Sawx swept the Yanks at Fenway. Tonight's game was highlighted by back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs. That's four In a row. Only the 5th time ever in baseball.

• Joe Saunders is 2-0 with a 1.96 ERA. That's pretty good, right? Apparently not good enough for the Angels. They sent him to AAA.

• Jon Lester moved one step closer to the major leagues since being declared cancer-free when he threw a side session at Fenway Park on Sunday before the Boston Red Sox played the New York Yankees.

• Nellie Ball was in full effect on Sunday night. Playing against the team Don Nelson used to coach, the Warriors beat the Dallas Cubans 97-85, lead by Baron Davis' 33 points. Looks like the Warriors came out to play.

• Baseball stuff you did not know (mostly stolen from Buster Olney):

Adam Loewen has surrendered 19 walks in 19.1 innings

Matt Chico has allowed 15 walks in 14.1 innings

B.J. Upton is 8-for-15 with runners in scoring position.

Jim Thome's on-base percentage so far: .554

The Mets' bullpen ERA of 1.31 is better than any other team by nearly a whole run

The Rockies' home ERA is 5.31, and their road ERA is 3.52

• New York Giant defensive end Michael Strahan's ex-wife held a posh garage sale Saturday at her Montclair mansion, allowing bargain hunters to sift through and cart away the defunct millionaire couple's cast-offs.

Items on sale outside of the $3.6 million home included cocktail dresses, a bronze football statue, handmade rugs, antiques and a set of cassette tapes on how to make relationships survive. Obviously those tapes were never used.

• The Denver Nuggets were the hottest team heading into the playoffs. They have continued their winning ways. This is what the Denver Nuggets had in mind when they acquired Allen Iverson to go with Carmelo Anthony.

The high-scoring All-Star duo provided the offense and the Nuggets were tough defensively, too, as they beat the San Antonio Spurs 95-89 in Game 1 of their Western Conference playoff series Sunday night.

Iverson scored 29 of his 31 after the first quarter and Anthony added 30 points for the sixth-seeded Nuggets, who entered the playoffs having won 10 of 11.

• At least there is one bright Met's fan. A New York Mets fan pleaded not guilty Sunday to shining a high-powered flashlight at an Atlanta Braves pitcher and shortstop during a game at Shea Stadium.

• Oden will leave Ohio St. and enter NBA draft. In other obvious news, The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fuck?

• Bodie Miller is a fucking moron. "It's highly doubtful that I'll be racing in 2010," America's top skier said in an interview Friday, "and even if I am racing in World Cup, I wouldn't go [to the Olympics].

"There's too much emphasis on winning,...."

• Carlos Lee had his first career 3 home-run game to back some shaky pitching by Roy Oswalt. The Stros had scored like 25 runs in the past 8 games. I had thought a soccer game broke out.

• "Sports agent Leigh Steinberg was arrested early Friday on suspicion of drunken driving after crashing his Mercedes into three parked cars and knocking over a fire hydrant." Let's see him negotiate his way out of this one.

• Today's Nighty Cap player of the day is Roy Halladay. Roy came out in the 10th inning to take the mound and get the win. While most pitchers think 6 innings is great, Roy has no fear of putting in some overtime.

• Eric Gagne had his second save in 22 months. Let's see how the goggled Canadian holds up over the next few weeks.

• Kobe Bryant scored...................... 17. And he played the entire 48 minutes. Maybe it's because his opponent, the Phoenix Suns, actually play a little D. Good luck in the playoffs Kobe. I smell a one and done.

• Sweet Lou got pissed after a game where the Cubs pitchers walked in 8 runs. Some monkey asked him what he thought wasn't working. Let's just say what ensued was a whole lot of deleted expletives.

• Sushi Night in America turned into King's day in Fenway. With all the fanfare of a coronation Dice Game took the mound and pitched well. The clarity of the HD picture on ESPN is amazing as you can clearly see players nasal hairs. Unfortunately for the Sawx Samari, Felix Hernandez threw a stunning one hit shutout.

• "Rather than spend a 15th season standing on a sideline as a backup, quarterback Drew Bledsoe has decided to walk away from pro football."

And as immobile as Drew is, he'll still be walking away on Friday afternoon. I wouldn't say he spent a lot of time in the pocket but not many QB's end up with pigeon shit on their uniforms. Thanks, I'll be here all week. Make sure to tip your wait staff.

• The NFL Combine seems to be having issues with their drug testing. Apparently some hallucinogens are not being tested for. My proof? Brady Quinn believes he should be No. 1 pick.

• Tigers - Orioles 11 innings, no runs. Then bam. Craig Monroe uncorks a grand slam. And the O's used 7 pitchers from their bullpen. We'll learn something about the durability of their bullpen as they head into KC for a 4 game weekend series. I think Sam may be begging for some snow. Leo is probably thinking "why the hell did I leave Atlanta" as he rocks the innings away.

• Santana says nyet to further contract talks. Another fatal mistake for the Twins? Time will tell... but Johan would look marvelous in pinstripes.

• There was a witness to the Waltrip crash.

"I didn't know what to say or what to do. He had a T-shirt and sweat pants and socks on, he might have taken his shoes off in the car, but I wasn't sure. And he just turned around and started walking home in his socks."

Please remember alcohol was not involved. It happens all the time to sober people. Bleeding and walking home in socks... that was last Thursday afternoon for me.

• The Professor wins #334. The Jones Boys go yard for the 56th time in the same game. Jaret Wright: 'It only hurts when I throw'

• The Nighty Cap is proud to present the player of the day award to Felix Hernandez. (Hopefully this is ok with The Intern). Felix was the "other pitcher" in last night's circus and he was masterful, showing the poise of.. at least a 22yo.

Remember the wait staff and avoid the Prime Rib, kind of grizzly.

• The Highway Patrol told WSOC-TV in Charlotte that Waltrip was driving about 70 mph in a 50-mph zone when he went off the right side of the road on a curve around 1:50 a.m. on Saturday.

"I never expected to fall asleep behind the wheel of a car."

Team officials said alcohol was not a factor and that alcohol was not mentioned on the ticket.

If I was drunk, I would leave the scene of a one-car accident and vanish until my liver removed the booze from my system. Sure 2 AM on the weekend, accident, leave the scene, of course there was no John Barleycorn.

• The only person that may go to jail regarding the Duke Lax rape case may be the prosecutor. It won't be the accused as all charges were dropped.

• I would like to go one record and say that the Nighty Cap will not be attending games if The Cheating Head breaks the home run record.

• Peter King's a fucking idiot. Here's proof:

g. I have never done Sudoku.

h. I have never heard Sanjaya sing.

i. I am still a part of the human race.

Thanks for clearing that up for us.

• Durant knows it's time to go. It has been his dream for a while. Ah, the arrogance of an 18 year-old. Precious or precocious? You decide.

• UCLA All-American guard Arron Afflalo is passing up his senior year to enter the NBA draft. He can't withdraw this time like he did last year.

I hope these kids studied math during their brief college stays, because there are a limited number of drafts picks to go around.

• Tim Hudson is the Nighty Cap player of the day. He pitched 7 shutout innings with only 3 hits and one walk. Sure it was against Washington, but the stats still count.

• Tyler Hansbrough and Ty Lawson will return to North Carolina next season instead of entering the NBA draft early.

"I've definitely decided that I will be back [for] my junior year," Hansbrough said Tuesday night after the team's annual awards ceremony. "Personally, I'm not ready for the next step of the NBA.

I am amazed that there is a college player out there aware that perhaps he isn't ready for the NBA. Why not star in college for another year rather than amass a large amount of DNP -coach's decisions?

• Looks like John Kerry may have actually accomplished something for a change. With the threat of Senate hearings looming, baseball, the only sport with an anti-trust exemption, made the smart move (or bitched up) and signed a 7 year cable deal. Details are here.

• Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn are going into the Hall Of Fame together this summer. Turns out that's not the only thing they're doing together. They have signed on as analysts for TBS' baseball coverage. Nothing says baseball like Tony Gwynn's cartoon character voice in the booth. Unfortunately he will team with Chip Caray. Damn. (I hope you got that joke.)

• Mets sweep the Cards in season opening series. Too bad it came one series too late.

• From Baseball Musings:

Just saw the funniest thing. Bob Wickman is walking around the mound after getting the first out in the bottom of the 11th. He's blowing on his hand while Chipper Jones comes over to the mound to clean his spikes. All of a sudden, Chipper says something and Wickman jumps! He didn't know Chipper was there and was taken by surprise. Chipper had to keep his glove over his face so people didn't see him laughing.

• Billy Packer says Charlie Rose is going to fag out.

• Apparently Tiger Woods doesn't have enough money. He has to use John Smoltz as his ATM machine.

• Ken Griffey Jr. plans to wear No. 42 on April 15, honoring the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking baseball's color barrier. Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera is the only active major leaguer still allowed to wear No. 42 on a regular basis.

• The Hardball Times reviews the Washington Nationals starting rotation because no one knows who these guys are.

• Today's player of the day is Curtis Granderson. He went 2-5 with a triple, a home run, 5 RBI's and a SB. Of course he did K twice, but that's Curtis.

• It's just like Mary Kay. Well except these cars don't suck and they aren't pink. Pat Summit gave each of her three assitants a Mercedes SLK 280.

• Pat Summit and her Tennessee Volunteers won their 7th NCAA basketball championship. I had Rutgers in my bracket. Pat still failed to smile. What can you expect from a woman who uses spackling as foundation.

• Dana Altman treated Arkansas like a dirty slut after a one night stand. As soon as he got his, he grabbed his pants and bolted for Creighton.

This is not the first time in recent memory someone has Belichicked a college. I just don't understand how coaches, who are supposed to be decisive leaders, can waffle like a presidential hopeful on the campaign trail.

• Chris Carpenter has an elbow owie. Adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly.

• Today's Astros blown save was brought to you by Dan Wheeler. Once again it was Xavier Nady that drove home the winning run.

• This Bud costs 14.5 Million. If that makes sense to anyone please let me know how.

• Today's player of the day is 54 year old El Duque. He pitched 7 one run innings against the punchless Cards and went 2-3 with 2 RBI's from the plate. Not bad for a guy that can remember when Fidel didn't have a beard.

• When sports writers make predictions it can sometimes be interesting reading. When they make predictions and show last year's predictions too, it is responsible journalism or just pretty cool.

• I had missed this Dr Z's mailbag a few days ago.

• And today's NFL arrest is brought to you by the Colt's Darrell Reid.

• Cory Lidle's widow, Melanie, and young son, Christopher, will throw out the ceremonial first pitch Monday before the Yankees take on Tampa Bay, the Yankees announced Thursday. Chances are there probably won't be a fly over.

• Three days, three world records. Micahel Phelps set his third world record in many days at the world swimming championships, wiping out the field in the 200-meter individual medley at Rod Laver Arena.

• I definitely went to the wrong colleges.Some students may skip classes this week to attend college basketball's Final Four, though at least a dozen have managed to score class credits out of the trip.

The students are sports management majors at Lynn University in South Florida. As part of a course titled "The Final Four Experience," they will be traveling with a couple of professors to Atlanta to get a firsthand look at what goes into the major sporting event.

• 42 year-old arms get tired. The Gambler will start the season on the DL.

• Ken Rosenthal sits down with a former used car dealer to talk about the MLB. Bud thinks things are great and he has done a fantastic job. My favorite Bud lie:

Q: What about the perception that some low-revenue clubs pocket their revenue-sharing money without reinvesting it in the product?

A: That perception is wrong. At every major-league meeting, (MLB executive vice-president) Rob Manfred shows the clubs where the money is coming in and where it's going. I've never had a complaint from a big-market club about that.

• West Virginia wins the NIT, yawn.

• It's a big ass waste of bronze. You could call it a bust, but it's actually the whole body.

• The Red Sawx opening day closer will be --- I have absolutely no idea. I know it won't be 41 year-old Mike Timlin who will start the season on the DL.

• The Yankees don't intend to offer Alex Rodriguez a contract extension, leaving him the option of opting out of his deal after the season and becoming a free agent. Poor little 252 million dollar man. He is so misunderstood. Come here A-Rod, let us give you a hug. You fuck.

• Word is Kobe Bryant has already called Kevin Durant on behalf of Nike and that a shoe deal ranging between $30 million and $50 million simply needs to be presented. Sounds like another fine to me.

• It can be tough to get your work done when your boss is yelling at you. It only adds to your stress. Now imagine you are on national TV and it happens during the NCAA tournament.

"The University of Illinois will not discipline athletic director Ron Guenther for yelling at men's basketball coach Bruce Weber and Illini players during the team's NCAA Tournament loss Friday.

Guenther yelled substitution advice to Weber -- who was just a few feet away -- and also yelled "Warren -- you idiot" after a play by Illini forward Warren Carter, according to a report on CBS Sportsline.com. Guenther also pounded the table throughout Illinois' 54-52 loss to Virginia Tech in Columbus, Ohio. Chief Illiniwek had no comment because he has ceased to exist."

• "It's no secret that some content owners don't seem to understand how the DMCA (here is the wiki for the Digital Millennium Copyright Act) works--that, or they simply don't care when sending mass takedown notices. This seems to be the case with the recent saga of legal maneuvers between the National Football League (NFL) and Brooklyn Law School professor Wendy Seltzer. The two have been going back and forth with DMCA-related "requests" since early February--with YouTube stuck in between--and in the process, the NFL itself appears to have violated the DMCA."

Ok so we have a lawyer from Brooklyn Law School (she has to be tough) versus the NFL about their copyright. The clip in question is the NFL's copyright warning (I love irony). Read this whole article, it is well worth your time. I am sure that Scottie can explain this to the rest of us in the Swamp.

• Sadly, The Mighty Mjd hasn't been very active with his blog. Why you ask, well he is getting paid to write. For those of you that don't know, this uniquely sick and talented individual was inspired by this here web site to begin his own place on Al Gore's invention.

His latest installment is Joey Porter/Levi Jones Fight: The Transcript. The best excerpts are NSFW but here is a little tease:

Random Guy: It's black and gold? I thought you played for the Dolphins now. Aren't those the Steelers' colors?

Joey Porter: No no no... Them's JOEY PORTER'S COLORS. When I left, the Steelers changed their color to PINK. VAGINA PINK.

• Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger says an off-season motorcycle accident and emergency appendectomy had nothing to do with his subpar performance last season. "I just got lucky my first year. I don't really think I'm very good."

• Bluffton University will play baseball this season despite the deaths of five players who were killed when the team bus toppled off an overpass.

• She's back. The internationally known babe magnet Bob Uecker was being stalked, again. A woman once charged with stalking announcer Bob Uecker was asked to leave a Milwaukee Brewers' spring training game.

• In an extreme case of cox gone wrong; Ukrainian border guards arrested Belarus's national rowing team Tuesday for illegally entering the country on a flotilla of eight boats. They are truly boat people.

• Indians hire an ex-con to host a show on the TV station they own. SportsTime Ohio, a 24-hour TV network owned by the club, announced Tuesday that it has hired longtime local radio personality Bruce Drennan to host a weekday talk show entitled "All Bets Are Off with Bruce Drennan."

Drennan was released from a federal prison in Morgantown, W.Va., on March 2 after serving a five-month sentence for tax fraud for failing to claim gambling winnings from betting on baseball. He should be good at his job. Maybe Pete can be a regular.

• Herm Edwards would drop the hammer on NFL scofflaws if he was in charge. "There needs to be a hard line, in my opinion," the Kansas City coach said Tuesday. "You can't throw softballs."

• Hey coach thanks for taking us to the tourney, winning both the conference tourney and the season championship, but you're fired. This I do not understand.

Long Beach State coach Larry Reynolds will not have his contract renewed, the school revealed on Tuesday, just a week after the 49ers went to the NCAA Tournament.

The 49ers won the Big West regular-season and conference tournament titles before losing to Tennessee in the first round of the NCAA Tournament last week in Columbus, Ohio.

• Jerramy Stevens is finished as a Seattle Seahawk. "The guy can't even spell his fucking name right," said Seahawks general manager Tim Ruskell, Ok so maybe he didn't say that, but come on he was thinking it and so were you too. Here is what he really said: "I would say it's probably a time for a change of scenery and to move on."

Last week when Stevens was arrested for investigation of driving under the influence and possession of marijuana in Scottsdale, Ariz. A Scottsdale police officer noticed Stevens driving erratically around 2:15 a.m., and Stevens reportedly told the officer he had "four of five margaritas" at Salty Seniorita, a downtown Scottsdale bar. Pure, utter genius.

• Looks like David Wells finally drank and ate himself into Type 2 diabetes. Let him be a lesson for all of us.

• "When he was a senior in high school, two short years ago, Cameron Maybin decided to get a tattoo. It would be tasteful. It would say something about him. It would reflect, in permanent ink, exactly what he hoped to achieve in life.

So, he went ahead with it. And now, along his powerful left biceps, is the official logo of Major League Baseball." - From the Detroit Free Press article.

• It what could be bad news for the rest of the American League, Johan Santana says he has a real good feel for his change-up this spring. We all know how shitty it was last year.

• This may not have much to do with sports but it is too good to pass up. Blind auto mechanic hires deaf assistant.

• NESN is a great big bag of dicks. "...No NESN content and/or programming may be used without NESN's express prior written authorization... yadda, yadda, lawyer speak , blah blah." The don't want their stuff on your blogs, cell phones or switched out from your DVR. Read the Draconian memo here.

• Playing for the Twins can be a great source of pain.

• The Hardball Times has a scientific statistical method of selecting baseball's order of finish for the upcoming season. In the Swamp we tend to be less scientific and more profane.

• Speaking of the Swamp, this explaination is for those of you readers that don't know what the Swamp is. Simply put the Swamp is a message board community that is mainly about sports. But sometimes its about books or movies. Right now we are working on a Top Ten of most memorable sports photographs. It's free, so stop by and lurk or just join up and share in our community.

• Winthrop has entered some rarified air indeed. For the first time in school history Winthrop is ranked in the top 25.

• Seeking to become the SF Giants of the NFL, the Cowboys cut Drew Bledsoe and replaced him with someone 7 years older. Brad Johnson 53, signed a 3 year contract with the club.

• Jon Lester pitched in his first game Monday since his last cancer treatment just 2 1/2 months ago.

• Lou Pinella to Cubs players: "You know what? You want a job?" Piniella said. "Go out and earn one." The meltdowns this summer on the North Side should be must see TV.

• Speaking of Pinella there is a new fan site regarding Sweet Lou.

• Schilling once again revels in his own greatness.

• Add pitching coach to Johan Santana's resume. After informing the Twins it might be smart to sign him to an extension, Santana spent time with Carlos "Gopherball" Silva teaching him the change-up.

• The Seattle Seahawks made their second big move for a pass rusher in as many years.

Falcons DE Patrick Kerney has signed to a six-year deal with Seattle, the team his former head coach Jim Mora coaches on. Kerney will receive $19.5 in guaranteed money and the total deal is worth $39.5 million.

• Here is a Mel Kiper-free list of the top 100 draft prospects.

• Here is a Hardball Times article about hidden baseball stars. Most of these guys wasted years in the minors. Can you say Rule V?

• If you needed another reason to avoid watching SNL, Peyton Manning is scheduled to host, on March 24th.

• Donald Trump's dentist is suing the estate of Cory Lidle for taking a wrong turn.

• "If I had a woman, I would tell her: Take your bitch ass into the kitchen and make me some pie" --- Cartman (cartoon character)

"Go back to the kitchen" "Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?" --- Cedric "Cornbread" Maxwell (Celtics Announcer) during the game Monday night in reference to referee Violet Palmer. It turns out the seven of the twelve people actually listening were offended. Go Celts.

• Evan Fields sounds a whole lot better than Ron Mexico. Here's some free advice. When using an alias do not give the same birthday and home address. Just a little tip for you scofflaws out there.

• Joey Porter, get your ass out of here, said the Pittsburgh Steelers. The decision to release Porter wasn't as much a cap move as it was a change in direction. I cannot wait to see which teams decide to cuddle up to Porter. He may have burnt him some bridges.

• Another day, another reporter announces his hate for bloggers. Yes I know it takes a lot of education to ask players questions and watch ballgames. I wish I had the aptitude. In this column Patrick Reusse of the Star Tribune shows the blogger as a homeless man. I think someone is scared for his job or may just have to work a little harder.

• Over at Hardball Times they have a story about pitchers in 2006 who performed well above or below their career averages. There are a whole bunch of stats, graphs and stuff. Just the thing that Murray Chass and Joe Morgan love.

• Tonight's final entry will deal with the scum over at ESPN. I turned on SportsCenter and saw Arena Football highlights. For the past number of years there was no Arena coverage on SportsCenter, nary a mention. Low and behold ESPN gets involved with the league and now we have highlights. Wow. Lots of Nascar and Arena. Very little hockey. Perhaps they should change the name to ESPNCenter.

• Denver Broncos reserve tailback Damien Nash collapsed and died Saturday night after an appearance in a charity basketball game in St. Louis. I am beginning to wonder how thorough the physicals football teams are giving their players. The charity event had to do with Damien's older brother (by a year) who received a heart transplant. You would think the team would want a full cardio workup on the kid. I am not blaming anybody, but it did get me thinking.

• Duke lax wins in first game since rape allegations. The after game party was probably fun. Maybe they can play at Cincinnati next.

• If there was ever a time you thought there may have been some discord in our Swamp, I suggest you read this to see how bad it can be in the virtual world.

• Dirk Nowitzki fell two assists short of his first triple-double and the Mavericks stretched their club-record home winning streak to 19 games with their second-highest point total of 2007. Perhaps it won't be a Canadian MVP this year. As much as I love me some Mark Cuban, can you begin to imagine what an insufferable prick he'd be if the Mavs went all they way?

• Carl Pavano's 13th pitch in batting practice was an unlucky one. The New York Yankees pitcher was hit on the bottom of his left foot by a liner off the bat of infielder Alberto Gonzalez during his second BP session on Saturday. This is such a shame. After recovering from the vaginal tearing of last year, now this.

• The story of the youngest player the NFL will, to this date, ever draft. He even finished school too.

• Here is proof that the Orioles club officials are too stupid to answer questions. The club has instituted a policy prohibiting members of team management - such as vice president Jim Duquette or manager Sam Perlozzo - from taking callers' questions when they appear on some nightly talk shows.

• More proof of Orioles suckiness. Here and here. That's from three different writers. Imagine what it will be like when they start playing the games... and losing.

• Doug Drabek is at the Phillies spring training camp. The Yankees should have never traded him.

• Some say the Fat Knight of the Twin Cities is "not grossly overweight".

• Shortstop Jimmy Rollins: 'We're the team to beat. I can't put it any other way.' Well at least he's consistent. If they win maybe we can call him Broad Street Jimmy.

• If I was making 7 million to sit on the bench I don't know if I would complain. But then, it would hurt my career long term so I am not sure what to think about Geoff Jenkins' situation.

• Joe Torre, fire sucker. So says Sheff. "Joe [Torre] took the fire out of me," Sheffield told The Post yesterday at ProPeak Fitness, where he spent the winter chiseling his 38-year-old body getting ready for the first season as a Tiger.

• Another reason to feel sorry for the Pirates BAABEE. Dickie V. visits camp and makes a speech.

• Kris Benson might not need season-ending rotator cuff surgery. Will the saga ever end? Check out the Smuck for more. (I couldn't help myself.)

• The plot thickens in the Manny Watch. Apparently Mom is much better. Well enough in fact that Manny can make a paid appearance in Atlantic City. Yes they are now paying people to go to AC or just sentencing them there.

• Former Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Koren Robinson must serve 90 days in jail for fleeing police last August, a prosecutor said. (Bengals Joke)

• Here is Fox's latest mock draft. There are also links to their previous three drafts too.

• Peyton Manning has agreed to restructure his contract with the Indianapolis Colts to save the team $8.2 million in salary cap space.

• The Miami Heat have a problem and it isn't Pat Riley's hip. Dwayne Wade injured his left shoulder in the fourth quarter and was in so much pain that he had to be taken off in a wheelchair.

• The Knighted, magistrate punching, drunk driving, fat boy refuses to disclose his weight.

He says, "you wouldn't ask David Wells." No Sir Sidney we wouldn't, Wells can actually pitch well, you fat tub of goo.

• Tony Dungy is coming back for another season with the Super Bowl champs.

• Gary Payton, Sam Cassell and Jason Caffey were cleared of assaulting a male exotic dancer and his stripper fiance during a confrontation outside a downtown Toronto strip club in 2003. Why were they around a male stripper?

• The Professor of pitchers speaks candidly about pitching and his fielding.

• The Top 100 Cubs of All Time. Ernie Banks is number one. Ron Santo's hairpiece is number 87.

• Arbitration. Why settle? Here is some perspective from Erik Bedard.

• Quick pay attention. Wisconsin is #1 for the very first time in their basketball history. Only problem? They play #2 Ohio State this coming Sunday.

• Michael Irvin is unemployed and I for one couldn't be happier. My personal opinion - loudmouth douchebag that embarrassed the NFL, and if it's possible, the University of Miami. This will allow him to help his friends kick the drug habit on a full-time basis.

• The first player to win his arbitration case this year? Possibly the first $200 million man in baseball. Miguel Cabrera.

• The Chargers are interviewing everyone for their head coaching job. Don Zimmer was today's candidate and I have no idea why plate-head was there. Good luck with that, Mr. Spanos.

• Kellen Winslow, Jay Williams, Big Ben. Now Jose Acevedo? Who? His major league record is 18-25 with a 5.74 ERA in five seasons with Cincinnati and Colorado. He is out for the year and that may help Baltimore.

• Vandy? Vandy? Vanderbilt beat Florida? Stopped their 17 gane win streak. Isn't that the school that has the fucked up basketball court? Vandy?

• In case you hadn't heard about it, Jim Thome was in the audience at a recent Oprah show. During the time he was there Dr. Oz was on the couch with Oprah. Dr. Oz said the vagina is a "self cleaning oven." You must watch this clip.

• Need some company golf shirts for an outing? Some stupid letter openers? Then Edgar Martinez is your man. I wonder if they do baseball fielding gloves?

• In a story that seems to be true each year for about the past decade: The Pirates have shelved their top pitching prospect.

• The lying mealy mouth fuckers at MLB office's first official response to the DirecTV deal.

• 14 misdemeanors is a lot of work. That's a full night's work. Garrett Reid, 23, son of Coach Andy Reid was charged from a Jan 30th incident.

• Bobby Knight was reprimanded for comments made after the game Saturday. He said a call on a charge was "horrendous" and "maybe as bad a call as I've ever seen." So now Bobby has been solidly reprimanded by the Big 12. That will teach him.

• The Hardball Times has ranked the minor league organizations of each team. It's got stats and graphs and shit. Dodgers are #1.

• Two former NFL players are accusing the league's union of inadequately representing them and the 3,500 retired players in licensing deals and allege the player's association may owe millions of dollars in licensing fees.

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, former players Bernard Parrish and Herb Adderley say the NFL Players Union's arm that handles licensing arrangements has done little to secure licensing deals with clothing manufacturers, video game makers and other venues. The suit seeks class-action status to represent the 3,500 retired players, which it says may be owed "tens of millions of dollars."

Good for them, I hope they win and quickly so it can help some of the guys in need.

• Carlos might be staying on the North Side of Chi-Town.

Speaking publicly for the first time since his televised comments Monday were reported as being an ultimatum, Zambrano also said the club since has made its first formal multiyear offer -- a five-year proposal ''very close'' to what the San Francisco Giants gave free agent pitcher Barry Zito this winter. That would mean an offer worth close to $90 million.

Sounds like they may need a few more ads on the ivy covered walls.

• "Do you know that George Steinbrenner is my father-in-law?" Well that didn't mean shit the other night.

George Steinbrenner's son-in-law and designated successor to run the New York Yankees was arrested early Thursday on a charge of driving under the influence.

• Kerry Wood is hurt already. No, it's not a joke. Wood went on to say he hates hot tubs. He wouldn't have a hot tub as a teammate. A hot tub shouldn't even be allowed in the locker room.

• Jon Lieber's got a new ride.

• Something to read while we wait for GLAAD to announce Tim Hardaway as their man of the year.

• Celtics rout Milwaukee to stop 18-game losing streak. Paul Pierce is back and so the Celtics break their historic losing streak. Their previous franchise record was 13 straight losses. Marv Thornberry said: "These guys don't know how to lose the right way."

• We must protect this house. All well and good for a slogan, but now the Cubs powers that be, have decided to defoul the ivy covered walls of Wrigley Field. Doors in right field and left field will sport the logo for Under Armour, a sports apparel manufacturer. The outfield signs represent a change for the storied ballpark.

"The Cubs are committed to finding alternative and creative revenue streams," team marketing and sales director Jay Blunk said in a statement.

I think we can translate the above statement to say this: "Now that the Cubs have committed to a payroll befitting a large market team, we have to find additional ways besides $6 Hamm's and brokering our own tickets to suck every dollar out of our fans' pockets. You can rest assured we will continue to whore ourselves out in every way possible."

• The first time I ever heard of Jerry Kramer was when my Dad brought home 8 copies of his book because Gilette was using them as a give away. Well he has been busy in his retirement.

About $125,000 has been raised to aid needy, retired National Football League players.The Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund was launched by Jerry Kramer, star right guard of the Green Bay Packers four decades ago under Vince Lombardi.

• There will be a new member of Alcoholics Anonymous. What an odd sentence to type. I mean it is anonymous, unless you are caught driving naked and then drunk two weeks later.

• Words that sent a chill through the bowels of Yankee fans everywhere. Mariano Rivera had this warning for the New York Yankees: If he becomes a free agent, he'll consider offers from other teams.

"Everybody has the same shot," he said Wednesday. "The Yankees will not have an advantage."

• Pedro + Roids trainer = Questions

Pedro Martinez continues to stand by controversial fitness guru and massage therapist Angel "Nao" Presinal.

If the name isn't familiar, it should be. Presinal, 54, popped up on Major League Baseball's radar in October 2001 after he and former two-time American League MVP Juan Gonzalez, then his primary client, were linked to an unmarked bag, reportedly containing steroids and hypodermic needles, that was seized by Canadian authorities at the Toronto airport.

• From Excruciating Baseball Lists we have which hitters owned which pitchers and visa versa throughout history. For instance Carlos Beltran is happy to see Kyle Lohse in the NL now. He has a 1.894 OPS. That, my friend, is owned.

• The biggest play in tonight's college basketball was..... wait for it.... not calling a timeout. Please take a moment to clear the Chris Webber image from your mind.

Jarrius Jackson hit a jumper at the buzzer to give Texas Tech a 77-75 win over No. 6 Texas A&M on Tuesday night, ending a five-game losing streak.

• Tuesday was the first time since 1979 that classes were cancelled because of weather at the University of Illinois. It was a nasty storm. Authorities on Tuesday were investigating the accident that injured two Illinois basketball players -- one seriously -- when their car went off the road and slammed into a tree.

• Dear Carlos Zambrano, Pinstripes would look very slimming on you next year. Sincerely, Yankee Fans. But this year Yankee fans will have to settle for Ron Villone.

• The thinnest position in upcoming fantasy baseball drafts will probably be 2B. Get caught up on the youngsters you may not know too much about here, from Hardball Times.

• Ken Rosenthal, who can't get on most of the rides at Disney, breaks down his best and worst off-season baseball moves.

• There is a certain irony saying a player lost at arbitration. I recall that there were only three players, that would have gotten less money if they lost there case. But so far this year the players have been shutout at their hearings. Teams 4 Players 0.

• I love Bernie Williams. But diminished skills are just that. Now Mariano Rivera has something to say regarding the Bernie situation and his own contract. Who could blame Joe Torre if he retired after this upcoming World Series Championship season?

• Some teams do a dog and pony show around their area before spring training starts. It's pretty cool for the kids, so they can meet the players and get some autographs. Less than a week before they take him to arbitration, the Marlins delivered an early salvo at their most productive player, All-Star third baseman Miguel Cabrera.

In front of hundreds of fans and season-ticket holders during the weekend, Marlins President David Samson and General Manager Larry Beinfest made a point to voice their disappointment that Cabrera blew off the team's pre-season promotional events.

• So what is Troy Percival up to these days? Even if you read this story you may have a hard time believing it. My cockles are warm.

• After 184 weeks on the charts, the Dukies are off the list. For the first time in 11 years, the name Duke is not to be found in the polls.

• It's Tiki time. In the morning and also on Sunday evening.

• I watched a lot of Louisville vs. Pitt (at least until the Jack Bauer Hour of Power) and I must say that Pitt looked nothing like a Top Ten team. Sluggish, sloppy, sleepy is what they looked like. (Nice alliteration, huh?)

• The New York Giants released linebacker LaVar Arrington and two other starters Monday in the first major shake-up under new general manager Jerry Reese.

New York also cut linebacker Carlos Emmons and offensive tackle Luke Petitgout, both of whom were slowed by injuries over the last two seasons

• No I haven't done 30,000 of these. It's about SportsCenter. You know the show that used to be really good and covered sports. Back when Berman had a full head of hair.

What has it become now? A corporate shill for every Disney movie? Booyah. A place that fires David Aldridge for Screaming A Shit? Now they insist on spoon feeding us nightly Nascar updates because they will be covering (smothering) that. 30,000 is a lot of shows, but I don't think I have seen many good ones in the past 10,0000.

The one story SportsCenter didn't cover well enough this year was the memorial service for Barbaro. Because we all know just how much they like to beat a dead horse.

• Dicegame has a drinking problem. Actually he has no problem drinking and that may be the problem.

An advertisement for Asahi "Super" Dry beer shows the Red Sox wunderkind chugging the title product -- an act that has drawn the attention of the team, the Boston Herald reported on its Web site early Sunday.

• Bud wants his balls kept cool. "The specifications that Rawlings recommends are a 70 degree temperature and 50 percent humidity," baseball senior vice president Joe Garagiola Jr. said Friday.

"We have contacted all 30 of the clubs, and they have all confirmed to us that they will be storing their baseballs in a temperature-controlled facility. We're not going to have humidors everyplace, but every place will be temperature controlled, and so I think there will be a very high degree of uniformity."

• The first baseball power rankings of the season are posted here. The Evil Empire is ranked number 1 and we aren't talking about DirecTV.

• Did you notice that SI has changed their website? They found another square inch or two they could shove 16 more fucking ads into.

• Back in 2001 the Twins took a lot of shit for passing on Mark Prior in the draft. They were called cheap, which they are, and contraction did seem like a good idea. Instead the Twinkies took Joe Mauer, a hometown boy, and things have turned out pretty well. Sunday he signed away his arbitration years for a 4year - 33million contract.

• For those of you that like to kick a Dukie when they are down. Maryland 72-Duke 60. Strawberry went 3-4 with 4 RBIs.

• Even I don't have the balls to call Ryan Howard a Momma's boy. He is one big mother ... Shut your mouth! But, it seems that Momma makes the rules and rules the cash.

"She handles the funds. Like, I'll get it, and then I won't see it. She'll let me look at the check, and then it's gone," Howard said.

When asked by Bryant Gumbel whether she is aware her son might be the first MVP to receive an allowance from his mother, Cheryl Howard disagreed.

• "Penurious Padres an island in sea of stupidity", that's one hell of a headline. I even had to look up penurious. This article makes Kevin Towers sound like Scrooge. It's about the Pads not going on a wacky shopping spree this off-season.

• I was thinking just the other day. What is Tino Martinez doing with himself?

• Jeff Fassero retires. Batters to spend 2 days in mourning.

• It seems the Twins have a few issues about where they are going to build their new stadium. The owners, a limited liability partnership of more than 100 private investors, are arguing that the county is not cooperating. The county and the team are arguing that the owners are not cooperating. Poor little rich people.

• Bernie says nyet to Yanks. Instead, Williams on Friday revealed his preference to stay at home, stay in shape, spend time with his family and wait to see if the Yankees change their minds and offer him a guaranteed roster spot.

• Dave Littlefield is the Pirates GM, but for how long? This time he really fucked up.

Starter Serguey Linares, the Cuban defector signed by the Pirates earlier in the week to a minor-league contract, received $125,000 in guaranteed money, according to Baseball America. The magazine reported that Linares had agreed to a $460,000 deal with Boston in October, but he did not pass the Red Sox's physical because of a slightly torn rotator cuff due to an abnormal bone growth in his right shoulder.

• Just because GM has layed off untold thousands of American employees and then trivialized doing that by using an unemployed robot in their new commercial, they aren't bad guys. They're just scum of the earth. Just some foul petri-dish bacteria. And now I am not the only one who thinks so. A Super Bowl ad showing a quality-obsessed General Motors Corp. robot jumping off a bridge in a dream sequence after screwing up on the job is drawing criticism from a suicide prevention group.
"This is our country"

• GLAAD is not happy. They have their panties in a knot about the Snickers kissing commercial. A commercial for Snickers candy bars launched in the Super Bowl broadcast was benched after its maker got complaints that it was homophobic. The video is available in the link.

• TO can be sensitive. Cowboys WR Terrell Owens called into Philadelphia sports radio station 610 WIP yesterday. Owens was upset that talk show host Howard Eskin was "talking smack about him."

• Hardball Times brings us a statistical analysis of the top 40 pitchers of all time. Number 40 surprised the shit out of me.

• The Reds spent some more cash today. Right-hander Bronson Arroyo received a two-year extension Thursday that will pay him an additional $25 million and keep him under contract through at least 2010. There's a team option for the following season. I can't wait for cornrow night at the GABP.

• Memphis won its 12th straight Thursday night, keyed by the play of Jeremy Hunt. Hunt, who is playing for 1.4 million this season, scored a career-high 30 points.

• Did Harold Reynolds commit a "willful or egregious" act that would "constitute an act of moral turpitude"? That is going to be the central question of his pending lawsuit versus the WWLIS. Here is a link to his contract. Hopefully one of our barristers can break it down into simple English.

• Get ready for fantasy baseball. Si.com has the list of the top 250. Gary Mathews Jr. is ranked 171. He's worth 50 Million.

• Vinny Castilla hangs up his cleats. Of course he hung up his glove about 3 years ago. The Venus De Milo had better range and hands.

• Some douchebag Bears fan lost a bet and is now changing his name to Peyton Manning.

• Here are the remaining 35 free agents. Some like Radke and Bagwell will retire and Shannon Stewart signed a 1-year with Moneyball today.

• Tyson checks into rehab for "various addictions". No punchline needed here.

• 16 is wild. Celts lose 16th, Mavs win their 16th in a row at home.