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If you’re only going to watch one Chiefs game–and its today’s game against the Ravens–then you’re not going to get a very good idea of what the Chiefs will be like this season.

Yeah, Matt Cassel is hurt this week, but the Chiefs weren’t going to win if he was at quarterback. (However, I would have taken them to cover the spread). This team still has too many flaws to go on the road to a playoff team and expect to remain competitive right now.

At the end of the season? Well, that’s another matter.

OFFENSE:

Cassel’s the undisputed #1, and Brodie Croyle is going to start today. I really wish that Thigpen would be starting, but at the same time, given Croyle’s fragility and the Ravens’ pass rush, Thigpen may be needed after the first few series.

Cassel isn’t going to duplicate last season, but 20 TDs should be expected, even if he only plays 15 games.

I fully expect a rebound season of sorts for Larry Johnson. He’s not going to go repeat the success that he had when Herm Edwards was trying to kill LJ by giving him the ball 400 times, but 1100 yards and 10 TDs isn’t unreasonable. LJ’s being a good employee right now and will be running hard. After all, he’s got $3 million+ on the line in court.

Dwayne Bowe is the only weapon that the Chiefs have outside. He could get 100 catches given how many times that Cassel will be targeting him. And since he’ll be targeted so much, he’ll probably be vying with Braylon Edwards for the league lead in drops. Mark Bradley is the #2 receiver for as long as he’s healthy, and Bobby Engram will be the slot receiver. Yeah, it’s not pretty. Especially when you consider that the Chiefs’ options at tight end are Sean Ryan and Brad Cottam. Yuck.

The offense will only be above average if the offensive line can improve. The line looked horrid in the preseason, but given the changes that the team made during the preseason (cut Barry Richardson and Damion McIntosh; traded for Andy Alleman and Ike Ndukwe and claimed Ryan O’Callaghan) there’s really no telling how average the line really is. Branden Albert and Brian Waters should be good, and if the right side of the line can be adequate, the Chiefs may put up a fair amount of points.

DEFENSE:

The defensive front is very young, but at the same time, it really isn’t very good. Glenn Dorsey has made the switch to end in the Chiefs hybrid 3-4, and hopefully won’t be bossed around as much as he was on the inside in last year’s cover 2 4-3. Tank Tyler’s inherited the nose tackle position, and Todd Haley has spent all of training camp telling Tyler that he needs to be nastier. That’s not good. #1 draft pick Tyson Jackson is on the other end, and he’s supposed to be “the prototypical 3-4 end.” Alex Magee, the Chiefs’ third round pick from Purdue, will be the top backup on the line.

The linebacking corps is a mishmash of former defensive ends and players playing out of position. I really was hoping that Zach Thomas would have been healthy because his addition to the middle of the Chiefs’ defense would have been a great thing for the other linebackers. Instead, Thomas got cut, and the “old white linebacker as a leader” role falls to Mike Vrabel, who will alternate between the outside and the middle. One of the middle linebacker spots is Derrick Johnson’s, as he’s going to get a chance to go sideline to sideline to make plays. Johnson has the athletic ability to do that, but he also likes to avoid blockers. Tamba Hali and Turk McBride are the converted defensive ends who shouldn’t struggle as the rush linebacker when the Chiefs are in a 3-4, but will have a hard time dropping back into coverage. If the’re on the field on passing downs, it’s a pretty good bet that they’ll be rushing the passer.

It was a surprise that the Chiefs cut Bernard Pollard. The reasoning was that the staff wanted to get Mike Brown on the field, but Mike Brown is 31 and injury-prone. Ooooooook. Yes, Pollard was a liability in coverage and had a tendency to whiff at times when he went for the big hit. But he was affordable–still in his rookie contract–and would be an adequate replacement for when Brown inevitably gets hurt.

The cornerbacks should be pretty good as long as Brandon Flowers and Brandon Carr continue to improve. Maurice Leggett will be the nickelback again, and he made some plays in the slot. I’ve had a mancrush on Flowers ever since they drafted him and I think he’s got the ability to be a shutdown cornerback as soon as this season.

Mister Irrelevant Ryan Succop should be an adequate kicker and Dustin Colquitt is one of the best punters in the league, provided that he’s recovered from last season’s groin injury. The kick returning spots are up for grabs, and as of now, it looks like rookie Quinten Lawrence will be the first in line.

OUTLOOK:

The Chiefs aren’t nearly as bad as they were last year, but they’re still a year or two away from competing for the division title. The schedule should prevent them from taking a major leap forward–they draw the NFC East–but the team should be much better at the end of the season, and a 7-9 season isn’t completely out of the question. After all, they do have to play the Raiders and Broncos twice.

(Here’s a late entry by Rick Baller III. He’s informed me that he’ll be rocking the XXL Crabtree jersey tomorrow.)

It’s been quite some time since the 49ers have been a competitive football team, but it appears that those days may be gradually coming to an end. The team’s fortunes began to turn when Mike Singletary was named Interim Head Coach on October 21, 2008. From that point forward, the team went 5-4 (5-3 in games started by new starting QB Shaun Hill) and there was almost instantly an apparent change in attitude among the players. It became evident that Singletary had the respect of his players, and when it was announced in the locker room after their final game that the interim tag had been removed, the room burst into wild celebration.

The 2009 season will hinge upon whether or not new starting Shaun Hill can give the 49ers league average (or better) play at the quarterback position. Below, I give you the preview of the 2009 season for the San Francisco 49ers:

SCHEDULE AND ANALYSIS:

9/13 @ Arizona
9/20 vs Seattle
9/27 @ Minnesota
10/4 vs St. Louis
10/11 vs Atlanta
10/25 at Houston
11/1 at Indianapolis
11/8 vs Tennessee
11/12 vs Chicago
11/22 at Green Bay
11/29 vs Jacksonville
12/6 at Seattle
12/14 vs Arizona
12/20 at Philadelphia
12/27 vs Detroit
1/3 at St. Louis

There aren’t many unbeatable teams on the schedule for the 49ers this season, but there aren’t too many cupcakes either. Seattle should be much improved in 2009 and those games will not be freebies. Same goes for Green Bay, Houston and Chicago, three teams that will likely make positive strides in 2009. Atlanta, Houston, Tennessee, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Minnesota, Jacksonville and 2 games with Arizona will all be relatively tough match-ups. An 8-8 finish (or better) is not out of the question.

THE OFFSEASON: WR Michael Crabtree was drafted 10th overall in the 2009 draft, but he is still unsigned and it appears the two parties are not close. The 49ers traded their 2nd round pick for Carolina’s 2010 1st round selection. Other draft picks of note include RB Glen Coffee (3rd round), MLB Scott McKillop (5th round), and QB Nate Davis (5th round). There were no major additions in free agency for the 49ers, however, there are a few minor additions worth mention. Moran Norris was brought back to be the starting fullback. The last time Gore and Norris made up the 49ers backfield, Gore had the best season of his career (312 carries, 1609 yards, 5.4 YPC). Brandon Jones was also added to improve depth at wide receiver, but he will be out until at least October with a fracture in his right shoulder. Walt Harris was lost in camp to an ACL tear, but the team added Dre Bly to fill in. Demetric Evans was added from the Redskins to add depth to the defensive line but he is currently buried on the depth chart. Lastly, RT Marvel Smith (signed as a free agent from Pittsburgh) announced his retirement towards the end of camp but the 49ers signed Tony Pashos, a very strong run blocker, to fill that vacancy. Pashos and Adam Snyder will battle for the starting role but it appears that Snyder will start the season with that title.

THE OFFENSE: As mentioned above, this team’s fortunes are dependent upon whether or not the team gets solid play from the quarterback position. That pressure will be placed squarely on the shoulders of Shaun Hill who showed flashes last season. He completed nearly 63% of his passes and ended up with 2046 yards passing and a 13/8 TD/INT ratio in 9 games (8 starts). Luckily, the 49ers are not asking Hill to win them games, they are asking him simply not to lose them. Frank Gore will still be the centerpiece of the offense and will likely average over 20 touches a game. The team’s goal is to run the ball 60% of the time this year, which will ideally leave somewhere between 8-10 touches for rookie RB Glen Coffee. Josh Morgan, Isaac Bruce, and Vernon Davis will be the top targets in the passing game until Crabtree signs and/or Brandon Jones makes his return from injury. The 2008 offensive line remains mostly intact and has looked great in the preseason.

THE DEFENSE: The defensive unit from 2008 remains almost entirely intact as well. The only changes here will be in the defensive backfield. At cornerback, Shawntae Spencer will step in as the starter opposite Nate Clements and Dashon Goldson will be taking over for Mark Roman as the starting FS. The defensive line will still be made up of DEs Justin Smith and Isaac Sopoaga and DT Aubrayo Franklin. Linebackers Patrick Willis, Takeo Spikes, Parys Haralson, and Manny Lawson will remain starters as well.

SPECIAL TEAMS: Joe Nedney will handle the kicking duties and Andy Lee remains a major strength as the team’s punter. CB Alan Rossum, WRs Michael Spurlock and Arnaz Battle, RB Michael Robinson, and TE Delanie Walker will likely all see action returning punts and kicks.

PLAYERS WHO WILL TAKE A STEP FORWARD IN 2009

Vernon Davis – He has already emerged as one of the best blocking tight ends in the game. This is the year that he puts up numbers that will earn him the respect that he deserves. Prediction: 60 catches, 650 yards receiving, 6 TDs.

Josh Morgan – A player who excelled in the 2008 preseason but had his progress thwarted by a staph infection. The infection caused him to lose 15 pounds and knocked him out of action for a number of weeks. 2009 will be a breakout season for a healthy Josh Morgan. Prediction: 70 catches, 1000 yards receiving, 5 TDs.

The Offensive Line – Guard Chilo Rachal and tackles Joe Staley and Adam Snyder should take a step forward this season. Rachal was a rookie last year who improved significantly throughout the course of the season and has had an entire offseason of strengthening and coaching to improve further. Eric Heitmann and Davis Baas should remain solid, though Baas remains an injury concern.

Dashon Goldson – Another big key this season will be whether or not the 49ers can get some playmaking from their safeties. As mentioned above, Goldson steps in at free safety for Mark Roman (0 interceptions in 2008). Goldson has been a promising player but has had trouble staying healthy. He looks healthy this season and has played well in camp and in the preseason. He looks primed for a breakout season. If Goldson does make the jump, a top 10 finish is not out of the question for the 49ers defense.

Parys Haralson/Manny Lawson – The 49ers desperately need a couple of players to step up and help put pressure of opposing quarterbacks. Lawson is now 2-years removed from a torn ACL and Haralson (8 sacks in 2008) was the team’s best pass rusher last season. Improvement is expected from both players who are still just 25 years old.

PLAYERS WHO MAY TAKE A STEP BACK IN 2009

Nate Clements – It’s just a gut feeling here. Clements has struggled at times this offseason and he’ll be 30 this December. He won’t be a liability but a step back would not be incredibly surprising.

Isaac Bruce – The 36-year old will still be a steadying influence at the wide receiver position and he’s supposedly looked better than expected in camp, but it is unlikely that Bruce can repeat last season (61 catches, 835 yards receiving, 7 TDs), unless someone has invented a time machine.

KEYS TO THE SEASON (A SUMMARY):

1. Reduce turnovers. Solid to average play from the quarterback position could make this a reality in 2009.

2. Force more turnovers. Somebody in the secondary needs to step up (neither Mark Roman or Michael Lewis recorded an INT in 2008). Hopefully a more physical style of play will help as well.

3. Stick to the game plan. Gore needs to see the ball over 20 times a game. The 49ers need to be close or in the lead for a majority of the game to make this possible. They must avoid offensive shootouts at all costs.

4. Discipline. Mike Singletary appears to have done a great job in the latter part of the 2008 season and throughout camp. The 49ers must stick to the fundamentals as Singletary has emphasized. At this time, they do not have the talent on their roster to atone for big mistakes.

THE HOMER PREDICTION: 10-6 with a playoff appearance. Possibly 1 playoff victory.

THE REALISTIC PREDICTION: The 49ers make positive strides in 2009, but will finish 8-8 (2nd in the NFC West). They miss the playoffs this year, but 2010 is the year they’ll find their way back there.

I apologize for not having the energy to write 20+ NFL previews. Life’s being petulant at the moment. I’ll get a Chiefs preview up before the games kick off on Sunday, as I scrapped the one I wrote today. As for everyone else, well, they’re getting 100 words or so.

AFC EAST:

1. New England Patriots: She’s officially pregnant! Wait, that has nothing to do with football. Bill Simmons says to take the over on the Pats this year, and EdRomero seems to agree with him. (Well, Ed implied it first, so Bill agrees with him). Would anyone be surprised if Fred Taylor had 1,000 yards and 10 TDs? Probably not likely, but if Taylor stays healthy, the running lanes should be plentiful.

2. Miami Dolphins: Will the Dolphins repeat last season? It is, after all, Dolphin Time. If Brian Hartline is as good as expected, the Miami receiving corps should be a strength. Hopefully Chad Pennington has enough arm strength to get them the ball. If the Dolphins are going to make the playoffs again, Ronnie Brown can’t be as feast or famine as he was in 2008.

3. New York Jets: Thomas Jones seems to be the SINOARB as Leon Washington will probably take more snaps this season. Heck, if he’s over the rib injury, Shonn Greene could pass Jones too. I’d venture to guess that Rex Ryan is probably using last year in Baltimore as the perfect template for 2009 in New York.

4. Buffalo Bills: Forget Terrell Owens, what’s going to kill Buffalo this season is their weakness on the offensive line. If Trent Edwards has time to throw, he should be able to make things happen with Owens and Lee Evans. If the Bills line is better than everyone expects–and they generate a pass rush out of thin air–they can make the playoffs.

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(From Ljam3. I couldn’t do a “you know who this is” thing here because we’ve got a bazillion Eagles fans. And remember, you guys can thank me for Jeremy Maclin.)

This was supposed to be a fun preview. I was going to write it in my baby daughter’s voice to get ready for her second season of NFL picks. But NOOOOO. Reality had to show up. The critical element in the Eagles’ success for the last decade loses his battle with cancer. The starting Mike blows his ACL in the second day in training camp. The new LT resembles a sumo who has never played the game before. The first team units looked undisciplined the entire preseason. Hmm. Am I forgetting anything?

Oh yeah. My team signed a convicted member of organized crime.

So instead of a cute preview of a bona fide championship contender who led the NFL in DVOA last year, you’re going to get the classic Eagles-fan best case/worst case scenario that every fan vacillates about 800 times a season.

OFFENSIVE LINE
I was originally excited about the sneaky offseason trade of past Pro Bowler Buffalo Bill Jason Peters to man the blind side. With Peters and the newly-acquired RG Stacey Andrews added to LG Todd Herremans, C Jamal Jackson, and the return past Pro Bowler and all-around mauler RG Shaun Andrews to RT, the line supposedly got better and younger at the same time. Now, after 2 preseason games, Peters looks like a liability in pass coverage, Herremans looks plain mediocre (and likely out Week One), and The Big Kid is talking that by Week One, he might be ready from back surgery, ready to “sell out like a Michael Jackson concert”, or he’ll be playing Xbox 360. (That last line is not a joke).

RUNNING BACKS
Yeah! Brian Westbrook! 1300 yards from scrimmage, 14 TD. Fantasy excellence! Wait a second… his YPC dropped three years in a row? He had a knee scope AND a high ankle sprain in the offseason? He turns 30 before the season starts???!! Well, what about the backups? LeSean McCoy… can’t pass block. Leonard Weaver… good blocker and a good pass catcher for a FB. Maybe we ARE doing the right thing limiting the running plays.

WIDE RECEIVERS/TIGHT ENDS
For the first time in a while, I am pleased with the pass-catching depth on the Birds. While no receivers or tight ends are in the Fitz/Andre/Calvin/Gonzo/Gates level, they all have their roles. DeSean Jackson works as a raw Steve Smith-type – speedy guys who excel at both deep passes and short hitches and screens – but 16% of the balls thrown his way last year were defensed. Kevin Curtis is healthy again and looks to be the chain mover. Jeremy Maclin is moving up the depth charts and might be starting at the X as Jackson improves. Reggie Brown… wait, we didn’t trade him to Baltimore yet? Hank Baskett is the jump-ball guy with a hot wife. Brent Celek is an upgrade at TE simply because his name isn’t “LJ Smith”.

QUARTERBACK
Now starting his 11th and likely penultimate season with the Eagles is Donovan McNabb. For a QB of his caliber (probably grades out as the 3rd or 4th best QB of the 00s), he is still occasionally susceptible to maddening bouts of inaccuracy. The early scrambler is long gone, but he is still mobile enough to make the occasional first down or two per game. The Eagles are left with a signal caller good enough to go to and win consistently in the playoffs, benefited especially by his surprisingly low INT rate (the lowest of all time for QBs with more than 1500 passes).

But apparently, that’s not good enough, as the Eagles went out and signed the recently-released-from-Federal-incarceration Michael Vick. This is the same Michael Vick who was even more errant with his passes than McNabb, only one with a history of not studying the playbook, flipping off the fans, and not putting the time in to prepare. So apparently, 6 total weeks will be enough time for Michael Vick to learn the basics of the Eagles reputedly-difficult playbook, and the intricacies of the Wild Bird. Kevin Kolb returns as “WIP savior”, known to people outside the Delaware Valley as “the backup QB”.

DEFENSIVE LINE
Here is the hub of the Eagles defense. Broderick Bunkley and Mike Patterson both require blockers to occupy, opening it up for Trent Cole, Darren Howard, Victor Abiamiri and Juqua (Thomas) Parker Sietecinco to rush the passer. I do like they can rotate their pass rushers, and if all four are healthy, will greatly help in second half of games… Funny. If they all stay healthy. Like that’s ever going to happen. We got one quality pass rusher in Trent Cole, and then we got Overpaid, Always Hurt, and Mediocre.

LINEBACKERS
Following up on the prior point, with Bunkley and Patterson occupying at least three blockers every play, space is opened up for the linebackers to simply make tackles. That’s one reason I’m personally not crushed with the ACL injury that KO’d MLB Stewart Bradley. If Joe Mays is competent enough at tackling, that will be enough. Chris Gocong is sound at the Sam and an option in the pass rush. Akeem Jordan takes over the Will over Omar Gaither… What am I talking about? The linebacker units have always been substandard under Reid because he never spent money there. We’re screwed again.

SECONDARY
No Brian Dawkins? Yet again they let good players go once they get too expensive! Typical Andy Reid move! …But come to think about it, the unit is still strong… Asante Samuel and Sheldon Brown are as strong a CB pair as in the game, with Samuel as the INT man and Brown just playing strong coverage. Ellis Hobbs and Joselio Hanson fight it out for 3rd CB. Pro-Bowler Quinton Mikell covers the run support and occasional blitz role, while Quinton Demps attempts to lock up the ball hawk role.

SPECIAL TEAMS
No longer one of the consistently excellent Special Teams (it hasn’t been for several years), the special teams are still at least serviceable, miles better than the abomination last year. David Akers lost the ability to hit 50-yarders, but at least he connects every kick that any kicker should make. Sav Rocca is merely adequate. The coverage units don’t stink, and Demps/Hobbs and Jackson/Maclin won’t kill them in the returning game, considering they actually returned kicks in the past.

COACHING
Andy Reid is a quality coach from Monday to Saturday, and a bad one on Sundays. Rarely have the Eagles been completely outclassed in his era, even when they came into the game outgunned. They have, however, fallen prey to bizarre playcalling too often, mainly hinged on Andy’s reluctance or disdain for the run. With the Vick signing, this simply adds more dynamite to the fire – unless he was signed to simply act like the lightning rod for the criticism, and a scapegoat if things go wrong. Marty Morhinweg received high marks for his playcalling when he first came here, especially in the 2nd half of 2006, but has come under fire lately. And it remains to be seen if Sean McDermott will be able to replicate the success of other Jim Johnson disciples such as Steve Spagnoulo and John Harbaugh.

OUTLOOK
I’m saying they split their NFC East schedule. They beat New Orleans, Tampa, and Atlanta but lose to Carolina in the NFC South. They beat KC, Denver, and Oakland, but lose at San Diego. They lose at Chicago, but they beat San Francisco at home. That puts them at 10-6. Whether that’s enough for them the division, I’m not sure. But it gets them in the tournament for the 8th time this decade. From there, who knows? Over the course of this season, the fanbase is going to switch from “We’re going to Miami!” to “Dump Reid and McNabb!” like the weather. THAT, my friends, is the only likely prediction here.

(TT gives us this preview, because after all, he’s one of the few here brave enough to root for the Texans)

Coming off 2 straight decidedly mediocre 8-8 years, hope springs eternal in Houston that THIS IS THE YEAR that we break .500 for the first time, and maybe sniff a playoff chase. The schedule is not kind to these aspirations:

New York Jets

@ Tennessee

Jacksonville

Oakland

@ Arizona

@ Cincinnati

San Francisco

@ Buffalo

@ Indianapolis

BYE

Tennessee

Indianapolis

@ Jacksonville

Seattle

@ St Louis

@ Miami

New England

The Jets game this weekend will be a telling one. If the Texans can beat the teams they are better than, and lose to the teams they are worse than then they should go 10-6, with losses to Indy twice, Tennessee twice, New England, and Miami. If they lose to the Jets and Cardinals, its probably another 8-8 year.

Offense: Offensively the Texans return all 5 starters from an offensive line that was pretty solid last year. Duane Brown should continue to improve at Left Tackle, and the unit should grown stronger as the season progresses.

Quarterback: Matt Schaub is a top 5 NFL QB when he stays healthy. Unfortunately Anne Frank has more of a chance of finishing her book than Matt Schaub has of playing all 16 games in a season. This means that one or more games will be placed in the hands of our current #2, Rex “At Least I Don’t Have To Fight Kyle Orton For A Job Anymore” Grossman. Hopefully Schaub can stay healthy, and we don’t have to watch Grossman or Dan Orlovsky play football anytime this season.

Running Back: Steve Slaton is one of the best in the league and should thrive with a better offensive line, and Chris Brown is theoretically finally healthy again and should help remove the load from Slaton and allow him to stay fresher.

Wide Receiver: With Apologies to Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson is the best receiver in the NFL, and its really not that close. He should finish with about 120 catches and 1500 yards and 10 TDs. He’s so talented he makes Kevin Walter a viable number 2.

The offense should continue to move down the field easily and remain one of the top 5 in the NFL. They are going to have to, because the defense is going to suck.

Defensive Line: Mario Williams is one of the best DE’s in the league, and should enjoy a 15 sack season. Other than him, and in spite of 5 first or second round draft picks we have no effective personnel. Amobi Okoye has been a massively disappointing bust, Free Agent Antonio Smith hasn’t flashed a spark of potential in preseason, and 2^nd round pick Connor Barwin looks really akward and confused whenever he ventures out onto the field.

Linebackers: Demeco Ryans is immensely talented and in a contract year. Look for him to put up Pro Bowl numbers at the MLB position. Rookie Brian Cushing will get the nod to start beside him, by nature of being their first round pick and the lack of competition. 7^th Round pick from last year Zac Diles will start on the other side of what should be a linebacking corps that can neither cover nor effectively tackle.

Secondary: Dunta Robinson has finally ended his holdout, and will play vs. the Jets in week 1. How effective he can be with no practice remains to be seen. After Robinson, there are no players in the Texans secondary that deserve to be starting for an NFL franchise. Free safety play will continue to be a weakness for the Texans, and they will pay for it in the form of 50+ yard TD’s repeatedly this year.

Coaching: Gary Kubiak is great at almost every aspect of the job of being an NFL coach except for the challenging part. Everytime he throws that red flag, it costs the team a timeout. If someone steals that flag from him we might all be better off.

Final Prediction: A bad defense, a great offense, another Matt Schaub injury, and some frustrating losses make for one more 8-8 Season. Until they draft a defense to match that offense, they will continue to be mired in mediocrity.

As I mentioned in my Dallas Cowboy preview, I went through a Jacksonville Jaguars fandom phase in middle school. It was a combination of the teal and black and the taking down of the Denver Broncos, but I was the biggest Mark Brunell fan in Missouri for a few years. Hell, I need to go look for that Starter jacket. It may hanging up in a closet somewhere.

But the days of Brunell, Fred Taylor, Cokehead Jimmy Smith and Keenan McCardell are gone, and so is my fandom. But that has nothing to do with the 2009 Jaguars. Let’s get started.

David Garrard is entrenched as the Jags’ starting quarterback, but the real drama comes as Jacksonville is apparently unhappy with 37 year old Todd Bouman as his backup. Normally, having a 37 year old as your backup isn’t a bad thing, as a quarterback on the downside of his career has a lot of experience and can conceivably play well in short spurts. However, Bouman’s never really had a career, so there can’t be a downside to something that never happened. Rumor has it that the Jaguars want Tyler Thigpen from the Chiefs, but Thigpen’s performance in last night’s loss to the Seahawks did nothing to justify Scott Pioli’s request that the Jaguars give the Chiefs a third round pick.

Maurice Jones-Drew is the unquestioned #1 running back, which is making fantasy owners with the third pick–like myself–wonder if he’s really going to be worth the risk. Freddie Tay is in New England, and Chauncey Washington and Alvin Pearman are MJD’s closest competition.

Torry Holt is Jacksonville’s newest #1 receiver, and while this would be a dynamic addition if it was 2001, the 33 year old Holt is still a massive upgrade given the state of the Jaguars’ receiving corps. Matt Jones is gone–and inexplicably unsigned–and the Jaguars hope that Holt can help Troy Williamson do what a receiver is supposed to do, namely, catch the football.

With the addition of rookies Eugene Monroe and Eben Britton and 12 year vet Tra Thomas, the line should be a strength, provided that they can stay healthy.

Defensively, the Jaguars’ effectiveness against the run is going to depend a lot on DT John Henderson, who’s already 30 and has a history of back and neck problems. That’s not good. Derrick Harvey is going to need to step up in his second season and help the pass rush after only getting 3.5 sacks last season.

The Jaguars’ linebackers–Clint Ingram, Daryl Smith, Thomas Williams and Justin Durant–are decidedly nondescript and will probably be the unit’s weakest link.

Rashean Mathis will once again be counted on to lock down his side of the field, and third year safety Reggie Nelson will need to stay healthy–he missed three games because of a concussion last season–if the secondary is going to be any good.

Outlook: The Jags’ running game should be the team’s biggest strength, and that should take the pressure off of David Garrard. While the defense won’t be horrible, it won’t be nearly as good as it has been, so the onus will be on Garrard and MJD to score plenty of points, and I don’t know if Jacksonville has the receiving options to be able to do that. With a tough AFC South division and a decidedly average team, look for Jacksonville to finish +/- 2 games of 8-8.

(My–and possibly everyone’s– favorite bigfatjew educates us on the Edgar Allen Poes)

2009 Regular Season: 11-5, lost in AFC Championship game.

Key Losses:

LB: Bart Scott, CB: Chris MacAllister, C: Jason Brown, S: Jim Leonhard, OT: Willie Anderson, PK: Matt Stover, CB: Corey Ivy, FB: Lorenzo Neal.

Key Additions:

C: Matt Birk, CB: Dominique Foxworth, TE: L.J. Smith, CB: Chris Carr

Draft Class:

1. OT: Michael Oher
2. DT: Paul Kruger
3. CB: Lardarius Webb
5. ILB: Jason Phillips
6. TE: Davon Drew
7. RB: Cedric Peerman

Ravens Offense:

The need that went unaddressed in this year’s off season was the need for a deep threat WR for Joe Flacco to throw the ball to. Instead of giving Flacco a new target, GM Ozzie Newsome drafted 6’5” 320 lb. OT Michael Oher to anchor the right side of the line and keep the 2nd year QB on his feet. In addition to Oher’s presence on the line, the Ravens front office brought in 10-year veteran and six-time Pro Bowler Matt Birk.

Joe Flacco will look to improve on his numbers (2971 yards, 14 TD, 12 INT, 60% completion percentage and 80.3 QB rating) during his second season in the league. He will be backed up by Troy Smith and Jon Beck.

The loss of fullback Lorenzo Neal means that Le’Ron McClain (902 yards, 10 TD) will return to the fullback position and the halfback duties will be split between Ray Rice (454 yards) and Willis McGahee (671 yards, 7 TD). Rice has come to camp with a lot more muscle on his frame and will probably be the #1 back to start the season. His 33 catches for 273 yards gives Cam Cameron’s offense a halfback who can catch the ball out of the backfield and serve as a three down back.

Derrick Mason (80 receptions, 1037 yards and 5 TD), who retired and then un-retired, will be Flacco’s prime target this season. Mark Clayton (695 yards, 3 TD), Demetrius Williams (Oregon), Marcus Smith (New Mexico) and Justin Harper (VA Tech) will serve as the other wide outs this year. Clearly, this is the weakest part of the Ravens’ offense. The coaching staff must be hoping that the extra time Flacco will get in the pocket will allow these receivers to get open.

The offensive line will consist of Jared Gaither and Oher at the tackles, Ben Grubbs and Marshall Yanda/Chris Chester at guard and Matt Birk at center. There is plenty of depth on the line and this crew will be one of the best lines in the league for a few years to come. The addition of Oher will allow the Ravens to run over both sides of the line. This will also remove the need for an overloaded line, which was commonplace last season when revolving door Adam Terry was the starting tackle.

Todd Heap and L.J. Smith will be the tight ends. Both of these players could use a good season, after injuries have slowed them down each of the last few seasons.

Overall, the Ravens are hoping that Flacco’s growth continues. With a full season behind him, they will be opening up Cam Cameron’s playbook a little bit more and letting the young quarterback use more of the weapons that the team has. Red zone efficiency must improve over last season’s 47.1%. It is nice going into a season without any quarterback concerns.

Ravens Defense:

The defense lost Bart Scott and Jim Leonhard in the offseason. However, the greatest loss to the defense may well be Rex Ryan’s departure to become the coach of the New York Jets. Greg Madison was promoted to run the defense in the wake of Ryan’s move.

Linebacker Tavares Gooden is expected to take over Bart Scott’s vacated linebacker position. The other two spots will be filled by Ray Lewis and Jaret Johnson. There is depth at the linebacking position and this crew will be solid as long as they stay healthy.

I’ll put Terrell “T-Sizzle” Suggs in between linebackers and defensive line because he is a little bit of both. I’ll admit that at the beginning of last season, I wondered if the team would bother re-signing him at season’s end. It didn’t look good as they slapped the franchise tag on Suggs for the second season in a row. Eventually, the two sides agreed to terms on a contract that makes Suggs the highest paid defensive player in NFL history. After watching Suggs chase down Big Ben twice last season in the AFC Championship game with only one good shoulder was inspiring, and endeared him to a lot of Ravens fans.

There wasn’t much loss on the defensive line this season. Kelly Gregg returns after missing last season due to knee problems. Haloti Ngata may be the best D-tackle in the league this season. Ngata’s bulk and athleticism make him a force in the middle of the Ravens’ line and second round draft pick Paul Kruger will also add more pass rushing expertise to the D-line that also has Trevor Pryce.

In addition to Leonhard, the secondary also lost Chris McAlister. The front office brought in Baltimore native and former University of Maryland player Dominique Foxworth to be the every day starting cornerback alongside Fabian Washington. They also drafted Lardarius Webb to play in the defensive backfield.

Ed Reed and Dawan Landry are the starting safeties this season. There is a ton of safety depth with Haruki Nakamura and Tom Zbikowski serving as back ups to Reed and Landry.

Ravens Schedule: Home games in CAPS

KANSAS CITY
San Diego
CLEVELAND
New England
CINCINNATI
Minnesota
Bye
DENVER
Cincinnati
Cleveland
INDIANAPOLIS
PITTSBURGH
Green Bay
DETROIT
CHICAGO
Pittsburgh
Oakland

(We’ve got another guest contribution from Whatley over at AofG. No wonder they’re so mad over there, this guy’s a Lions fan.)

The Detroit Lions can only go up.

What else can I say? We’re talking about a team/franchise that:

* Has not made the playoffs since 1999, have not won a playoff game since 1991 and that was their only playoff win since Dwight “I fuck Germans for fun” Eisenhower was POTUS.
* Has an owner, William Clay Ford Sr. that strangely resembles Bernie Lomax in his approach to running a franchise. That being, have people, namely Matt Millen and now Martin Mayhew, tie their shoes to his, put peanut butter in his mouth so that it looks like he’s moving his lips, walk around and looky here! “Hands on ownership”.
* Drafted THE BEST running back in the history of professional football and still the team was so inept, said running back retired in his prime, 2,000 yards away from blowing past Walter Payton, all because he didn’t want to lose anymore. Who does that? A Lions player who knows what the Lions are all about does it.
* Once considered:
o Erik Kramer
o Scott Mitchell
o Andre Ware
o Rodney Peete
o Jon Kitna…

Franchise Quarterbacks. What. The. Fuck.

* Has more “pussy” jokes and innuendo made about them than in a Lady Gaga song.
* Need I mention a little thing called “0 and 16″?
* Has a history of…you know what? This is fucking pointless. Every other team in the National Football League, even the Oak-dump Raiders, have a better history than my Detroit Lions. Yet, I remain as loyal a fan as anyone this side of sanity. Why? Well, two reasons.

One, they have some pretty sweet uniforms. Don’t lie, all. Silver, Black and Blue is the shit. It’s too bad they’ve had fairies prancing around in them for a decade.

Two, I want to be on that bandwagon first. No, I want to drive that fucker. I want it to have my ass in that driver seat so that when the Detroit Lions DO win the whole damn thing, I can sit there, gas pedal floored, pick up assholes that jump on the wagon late (I’m looking at you Tiger fans), punch the horn that wails “Another One Bites The Dust”, all while wearing my Billy Sims jersey, doing a beer bong, puffing on a crack pipe, while running over hookers on Woodward Avenue. And goddamn it, I’m getting old, so this shit better happen soon, because the older I get the more likely I’ll be stopping all the time because my enlarged prostate makes me piss more frequently than a college co-ed passed out on Boone’s Farm.

The Detroit Lions WILL win the whole damn thing! Just not this year.

Or next.

2011, baby! Mark it, Smokey.

For now, I trust this Jim Schwartz cat knows what the fuck he’s getting into. Go Lie-downs!

4-12.

(We’ve got a guest contribution from Assman over at the Airing of Grievances. Poor dude’s a Raider fan.)

Given that I’m not a Steeler fan and that my favorite team doesn’t have a 2009 SuperBowl trophy in its headquarters, you can expect this to be somewhat less smarmy, unbearably self-aggrandizing and optimistic. You can also expect this to end with a sentence other than “we look forward to the season,” or “happy football everyone.” I’m a Raider fan. My expectations of 2010 are slightly worse than Michael Jackson’s.

Rather than regaling you with tales of our fantastical magic success, our long haired safeties that deserve blowjobs from all mortal men and our non-motorcycle-helmet-wearing quarterback with a history of questionable life decisions in his dossier who somehow avoided rape charges and media scrutiny this summer, I’ll stick to the basics. Here’s a list of reasons that 2010 isn’t exactly going to work out for the silver and black.

The Owner

It always starts with this turkey-necked shit hole, doesn’t it? Al Fucking Davis. (And, yes, his middle name is “Fucking.” Look it up.)

Everything else on this list is his fault. If you’re busy and don’t feel like reading this whole thing, you can stop at the sentence just before this one and say, “Got it. Now, I can go spend the rest of my day watching that horrible, horrible JK Wedding dance video again.” He’s the alpha, omega and likely the omicron of the Raiders’ problems.

Think of everything an owner can do to fuck a franchise over. Refuse to hire a front office because he thinks he can do it himself? Check. Get rid of every competent coach because they might challenge his authority? Done. Sign aging free agents for 12 times what they’re worth because he doesn’t understand the salary cap? In the book. Draft like a 12 year old? Yes, indeed. Walk around in black leather despite looking like a 1000 year old vampire cunt? Why not. Refuse to die or appoint a competent successor, despite the laws of nature? Absolutely.

I’ve said it a million times, but until this man’s handlers stop feeding him brains through a tube and let him die, the franchise is useless.

The Fans

Oh ho… but therein lies the problem, doesn’t it? You ever go out to a restaurant and see a kid over at the next table that’s an unfathomable shit? Maybe he’s pissing on the waiter’s toes or throwing bread at you. Maybe he’s inadvertently teaching your kids how to scream “fuck” at 80 decibels every ten seconds. What are you thinking? “Why can’t that kids parents put a muzzle on him? They’re enabling him.”

And this is the issue with the Raiders. Every asshole Walmart box stacker you see with a backward Raider cap on is financing this retarded machine. Not only are Raider fans the most unlikable, lowest functioning human strata on earth, but they seem to spend every dollar of their disposable income on team decals that they can stick in the back window of their lowriders. We’re a nation of losers, but our logo is cooler than the Bills’, so we’ve never forced the team to start making fiscally reasonable decisions or answer to anything other than Al Davis’ aged whimsy.

Congratulations, my co-dicks. We just pissed a few billion dollars away on an AARP endorsed defensive line, but you look hella boss in that silver and black bandana. Why don’t we all agree to stick new Raider flags on our trucks and throw a few million dollars up Matt Jones’ coked up asshole, if we can? Who’s with me? Raider up, bitches.

Can’t we all agree to just let the team go bankrupt and end this nightmare? We can all become Packer or Charger fans or something. Don’t disrupt the natural functioning of the market. Ron Paul is very concerned with you.

Quarterback

I’m sure JaMarcus Russell is a nice guy and a talented football player, but he’s also a fat fuck that costs $70 million dollars for no reason. I say we offer him a plate of pancakes (with extra syrup) to demand a trade to Jacksonville. If we’re going to lose a hundred games, I’d rather not finance his oncoming diabetes in the process.

On the positive side, he’s not Steve McNair.

Wide Receivers

And even if our quarterback wasn’t a human barrel, he’d still be throwing balls at the likes of Javon Walker (who has a mohawk), Johnnie Lee Higgins (who could be a serial killer) and Darius Heyward-Bey (who is not Michael Crabtree). If those guys catch anything outside of chlamydia this season, it’ll be a surprise.

You don’t want to know how much money those three guys are making, by the way.

Defense

I’m not an expert on football, nor am I the type of person that knows the X’s and O’s of game management, but I’m pretty sure the number one rule of defense is that you have to actually field one. You can’t just let every talented guy you have leave the team because you don’t like them anymore. Signing Nnamdi Asomugha for a jillion dollars may have been a funny way to fuck with play-by-play callers everywhere, but it’s not the kind of thing that allows for the flexibility you’d need to keep Gibril Wilson around.

I’m not looking forward to the first time I hear an announcer say, “Phillip Rivers drops back…. checks down to keep Assomonuggie tight on the line…. tosses it up the middle… Chris Chambers scores a touchdown again. Right now, the Raiders really wish they were able to put more than 8 guys on the field on defense. Holy shit. That was a bad plan. And… I’m being informed by the booth that I just said ’shit’ on TV. My apologies to the people at home.”

Coaching

We’re coached by a guy named Tom Cable. That’s not his porn name – that’s his actual name.

The Fact that It Was a Fumble

It was a fucking fumble. I know it was nearly a decade ago now, but it was still a fucking fumble.

(Hey, whaddya know? Tom is alive! And he was kind enough to write the Tennessee Titans preview for us.)

First of all, let’s hear it for the throwback uniforms this season, saving us all from having to look at the mighty thumb tacs (if you happen to be aware of the small media market Titans that is?).

Haynesworth, Hanynesworth, Haynesworth…

That seems to be all we have heard about from the media in Titansville since April. I have no idea if he will rule the roost in DC (and frankly, I don’t give a shit), but the Titans will miss the most dominant DT in football for sure. He is an ass-kicker, and no matter what the Titans front office say, they cannot replace him. DL coach Jim Washburn is an unsung hero in the NFL, and I am sure he will have a few tricks up his wizard’s sleeve, but it won’t be enough.

The Titans come off a 13-3 season, with a heart breaking loss to the rat birds in the divisional playoff game (bunch of quim licks, that they are). They return 21 of 22 starters on both sides of the ball, and have added WRs Nate Washington, Kenny Britt and TE Jared Cook (who I believe is the next coming of Kellen Winslow the first).

I have no idea if the death of Steve McNair will motivate the Titans and push them forward, but one thing is for sure, his protégée Vince Young has done feck all, and will be released at the end of the season.
On offense the Titans will go as far as their OL carries them (Roos and Stewart are as fine a pair of bookends as you are likely to see). If Collins has time and Johnson/White have holes, they can move the ball on anybody. Scoring TDs through the air in the red zone will continue to be the issue, and until that is resolved, the Titans can, and will be beaten in close games (ala the rat birds mentioned above, bunch of robbing pikie Maryland twats, so they are…).

I don’t believe the Colts are as strong this season, but the Texans and Jags will be far better. I can see the Titans posting anything from an 8-8 to 12-4 season, but I will opt for a 10-6, and a divisional loss, probably to the Steelers at Heinz field…

One to look out for is FS Mike Griffin, who could be a star in the making!