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Check out the Reds’ dugout in the picture below:

Whatever “it” is, Aroldis Chapman is rocking it as Reds camp unfolds. Joe Posnanski with some words that make this Reds fan giggle. Hey, let me enjoy it now, before something inevitably goes wrong…(insert your own damn wry Dusty-Baker-and-young-arms-pithiness here as it suits you).

Supposedly, against all reasonable guesses, the Reds are going to win the bidding for Cuban pitcher Aroldis Chapman. He’s 22. He’s a lefty. He’s a flamethrower (reportedly in the high 90s when he wants to). And he has control issues. So there’s that. At any rate, not a bad gamble. And, at $30 million per the reports, if true, it means the Reds might be getting off the financial-woe-is-me bench. And that is something I did not think I would see at any point soon.

Because, damn, the eight remaining Reds fans and 7 remaining Pirates fans want to make sure this pain is shared, as of last Friday night, the Reds and Pirates had 13 meetings left this season on the schedule.

13.

I say again, 13.

After Pittsburgh brought the pain the last two nights, we are down to 11 meetings left between these captains of suck.

Today, the Reds (51-71) are running out there:

Chris Dickerson CF
Paul Janish SS
Joey Votto 1B
Brandon Phillips 2B
Scott Rolen 3B
Laynce Nix LF
Jonny Gomes RF
Ryan Hanigan C
Homer Bailey P

The Pirates (51-70) are running out:

Andrew McCutcheon CF
Delwyn Young 2b
“G” Jones 1b
Lastings Milledge LF
Ryan Doumit C
Brandon Moss RF
Ramon Vazquez 3b
Brian Bixler SS
Kevin Hart P

If you do NOT have MLB’s TV package and cannot see this battle of, well, look at those line-ups and marvel, then, um, good for you. Because that is just fuckawful. The Pirates, to remind you, have not had a winning season since 1992. This will be their 17th straight losing season.

As for the Reds, they have not had a winning season since their 2000 team (Jr.’s first year with the team and his only fully healthy year with the team), making them nine such losing seasons in a row. I would say Bengal-esque, but the Bengals during THEIR lost decades occasionally finished .500.

So, Pirates. Reds. Catch the fever. It will likely make you bleed from the eyes and ears.

…fucked.

The Walt Jocketty era has been a disaster, full of half steps, signings that make no sense, and no identifiable plan. They continue to play Willy Taveras against all reason, and I am still trying to figure out how a club that cries poverty acquires an expensive and injury-prone 34-year-old Scott Rolen for indentifiable pitching prospects, taking on salary to some degree and dealing an actual asset (actually assets) in today’s baseball. It just makes no sense. Jocketty gives the appearance of the game having long since passed him by, and given that an organization that actually knows what it’s doing and what it wants to be in St. Louis kicked him to the curb, this is highly disturbing to any Reds fans not in a coma. At any rate, responding to growing criticism that the Reds have no plan, Jocketty spewed this verbal diarrhea yesterday:

“The plan is . . . we have a plan, let’s put it at that. . . The plan is to try and develop quality young players and build a foundation for the organization for the long-term, not just the short-term. We’re also trying to be fair to our fans and be competitive as much as we could this year. I think we were until we were hit with a lot of injuries in the middle of July. We didn’t have the depth to compensate for it. The plan is to continue to sign quality young talent and develop it to the major league level. That’s simplifying it. But that’s the plan.”

Jeebus.

Absolutely unacceptable, Walt. You fuckin’ moron. That’s about as coherent as Tom Smykowski’s defense of his job description to the “Bobs” on Office Space:

Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don’t have to.

I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people.

Can’t you understand that?

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Indeed.

So Walt’s grand plan is to “sign quality young talent and develop it to the major league level”? Well no fucking shit, sherlock. I would imagine THAT is it goddamn plan at EVERY FUCKING OTHER TEAM in major league baseball too. Jesus, you suck Walt. How, exactly, are you going to set about doing that? I guess that is the question, and you seem to have no fucking idea. None.

And in terms of your stated fucking plan, you just dealt one major league ready young reliever and a starting pitching prospect who is m a y b e about half a year from being ready for a 34-year-old rapidly decaying Scott Rolen, so, in terms of whatever it is you think your plan is, you are already fucking failing. You fucking tool. And that is setting aside the continuing Willy Taveras abomination in CF and at the leadoff spot in the Cincy line-up. That you let Dusty Baker continue to do this to the fanbase is simply evil.

Walt, you suck. In all respects. Fuck you.

Quoth Brandon Phillips:

“I don’t believe that on-base percentage stuff. That’s overrated to me. If you get hits, you’ll be on base. That’s what it’s about.”

Brandon Phillips’ OBP last year? .312. His OPS+? 92. And he’s Cincy’s clean-up hitter.

Awesome.