Sportsfrog.com

(Courtesy of Shrew, who is the only person I know lucky enough to have seen this infomercial. And given the way that the Cowboys-Eagles game is going, you’ll undoubtedly hear more about that trade in the coming week)

This could have either gone in “Commercials that Make Me Want to Break stuff” or “Rants” but since I joined the ranks of the newly sober I thought I’d break my cherry on the front page of the only publication I like better than “The Old Gray Lady”.

I’ve had a really bad week that was saved only by beating out DC47 for the Slolz22 first annual “Smallest Dick & Biggest Swampcrash loser” award but apparently I am doing better than Jimmy Johnson.

The man whose NFL resume started with falling backwards into coaching America’s team because he played college ball at Arkansas with a teammate of Cowboy owner Jerry Jones and was only successful because the brain trust that runs the Vikings traded a dynasty for $24 and Herschel Walker now does infomercials for a personal investing company called “Better Trades”.

Before today’s Jets/Bengals playoff game I woke up from a nap to find a “Bettertrades” infomercial on TV. Click the link to see Jimmy Johnson in action.

I checked out Wikipedia to hoping to find that Better Trades was backed by an investment group made up of Minnesota Vikings ownership but unfortunately it was really founded by this guy:

Freddie Rick grew up in Kentwood, Louisiana – the same hometown as Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears. After a career as a sniper in the Marine Corp, he worked in network marketing in the mid-1990s. By age 29 he was a millionaire, but lost it by the time he was 31 years old. This story is documented in “The Wave 3 Way to Building Your Downline.” Rick rebuilt his fortune by focusing on stock and options trading, though he initially lost large amounts of money in the process. He documented his successful trading strategies and went to work for a stock market education company. After leaving that company, Rick and his wife began teaching others about finances and trading as a “love offering” in various churches. He started the BetterTrades web site in 2002.

And sorry, I will never forgive the Vikings for changing the course of history like in Ray Bradbury’s story “A Sound of Thunder” where traveling in time to hunt T-Rex and stepping on a butterfly altered the course of history. You made the Cowboys a dynasty and brought the Redskins Dan Snyder.

Green Bay, where it looked like it did when Favre played for them, only different. Mike Vandermause in the Green Bay Gazette with this:

Favre showed exactly why Packers General Manager Ted Thompson refused to trade him to the Vikings last season. The 40-year-old gunslinger still possesses magic in his arm and is helping the Vikings run away with the NFC North Division title. To Thompson’s great dismay, Favre found his way to Minnesota anyway, and the Packers general manager’s worst fears have been realized. Favre came into the Packers’ sacred house, the place he once called home, and carved up his former team with impressive efficiency (128.6 passer rating) and eluded the defense’s furious attempts to generate pressure. “He did a good job of recognizing where the pressure was coming from before it even came,” lamented Packers cornerback Al Harris. “But we’ve got to come up with it. It doesn’t matter if he recognizes it or not, somebody has to beat somebody one on one. Somebody has to do something to make whatever it is work.”

Harris’ frustration was evident, and for good reason. Unless someone starts making plays, the Packers will continue to struggle. This is a team talented enough to subdue the stumblebums on their schedule (Lions and Rams and Browns, oh my!), but not capable of keeping pace with an elite opponent like Minnesota. “That’s what we are,” said Charles Woodson. “Right now we can’t win the big game.” The blame for that must ultimately be laid at the feet of Thompson and head coach Mike McCarthy. The longer this team hovers near the .500 mark after a subpar 6-10 record last year, the more it looks like the Packers’ 13-3 mark in 2007 was an aberration. That remains the only season the Packers finished above .500 under Thompson and McCarthy. Both bear responsibility for ending Favre’s relationship with the Packers, a move that will be debated endlessly but ultimately was based on sound football principles.

It was, but as much as I have been annoyed with the Favre will-he-or-won’t-he retirement stuff, I can’t forget that it is ultimately Ted Thompson’s fault that it came to that. And this. It’s one thing to decide you want to roll with Aaron Rodgers (a decision that clearly made sense for the long term). It is another to decide to roll with Aaron Rodgers AND also try and force Favre into a retirement he clearly didn’t want or to be a back-up, something that he clearly is better than. What should have happened that would have spared everyone several years of Favre related retirment shenanigans? Thompson decides to go with Rodgers, and grants Favre his release to continue his career elsewhere. But since Thompson was too big a puss to do that, we have had the machinations of the last 18 months.

At any rate, Favre can clearly still play and wants to play, it is not Aaro Rodgers’ fault that Green Bay is coming up short in big games, and Ted Thompson is a douche. My scorecard is clear.

In Minneapolis, they are so bored with the Brett Favre story this morning that Sid Hartman devotes his column space to the homerun draft picks that were Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin. In Harvin’s case, the worries of off-field troubles that caused him to slip in the draft to a grateful Minnesota seem quite distant.

Knock us all over with not surprise, but Minnesota is quietly shopping Tavaris Jackson. With cutdown day looming, and Minnesota heavy by one at quarterback thanks to the arrival of Brett Favre, I would imagine that Jackson’s value is worth slightly less than belly button lint.

But, sure, make your calls Minnesota.

At some point, though, probably a second or three after he hits waivers, some team will be glad to scoop up Tavaris Jackson. He would immediately vault to the top 10 of back-up quarterbacks in the league.

God knows the Bengals could use an upgrade there. And, yes, I think Jackson is an upgrade over JT O’Sullivan…

…handing the ball off to Adrian Peterson and watching him sprint 75 yards for a touchdown on the first play of the game is not too strenuous, whether you are an aged quarterback or not.

Good lord Peterson is fast.

The NFL’s foremost such queen says he has a cracked rib.

Brett Favre is expected to heroically soldier on tonight anyway.

I hope he wears a purple dress.

So, he’s in Minny, and all are not happy, if Mike Florio at pft and Adam Schefter (now of espn) are to be believed. Schefter going so far as to quote one “informed source” as saying their is a “schism” in the locker-room. That last part lead to the rather high comedy of espnews last night providing a Webster’s definition of “schism”. Apparently the average espnews watcher is stupid.

At any rate, the inevitable pushback from Vikings world is underway today. Per Sporting News:

The reality is far different, based on conversations with players on the record and off the record. There’s nothing to suggest there’s any split. Coach Brad Childress and RB Adrian Peterson said they didn’t sense any widespread undercurrent of emotion in favor of Jackson. Jackson has friends on the team who want to see him succeed and have a productive career. That’s to be expected because Jackson is entering his fourth year and has relationships with teammates. But there’s a difference between friendships and business. The players are on board with Favre, whose leadership and knowledge of the West Coast offense give the team its best chance to win.

Oh.

Nothing to see here then.

Because it is soooo inconceivable that there might be resentment from Vikings players who just put in a full off-season of work followed by the training camp grind toward Brett Favre being a giant pussy who doesn’t want to work that hard at this point in his life but just wants to float in for the glory of games on Sundays?

Right.

1 for 4 for 4 yards. He was hit more often than he completed a pass. Oh, and the one pass Favre did complete was into double coverage and rather ill-advised.

So, there is work to do.

It’s almost as if Brett Favre has not practiced with the team…weird that.

Jim Souhan in the Minny Star-Tribune dutifully tries to put words to the scene. He finds Favre in purple odd. But that he had a “presence”, so he’s got that going for him.

Now, if he only still has “skills”. We shall see.

Per WCCO (Mark Rosen) in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Favre will sign with Vikings today.

Three quick thoughts if this finally comes to pass:

1. Favre’s a pussy for doing all of this to skip training camp;

2. The Vikings are a legit Super Bowl threat in the NFC; and

3. Jay Glazer of foxsports.com and CBS rules all he surveys. Seriously, Chris Mortenson and John Clayton et al are his collective bitches.

Why would Mr. Noodle have to say that?

Oh, yeah. Because Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams a few days ago said he didn’t. More or less. Mostly more. Anyway, quoth Mr. Noodle:

“Tarvaris Jackson is one of the hardest-working guys you’re going to find on this 85-man roster right now,” Childress said. “Just in terms of the time he spends here, the time he spends in the books, with the wide receivers, in the weight room, strength and conditioning … there are very few people who work as hard as he does in the offseason.”

There you go. Nothing to see here. Mr. Noodle says Williams was taken out of context. Which is a neat trick, since Williams’ comments were made on a radio interview.

Hard not to imagine, now that the Manny Ramirez news is no longer hogging the news media spotlight, that we won’t get Favre’s return early next week. I like the show of the Vikings “looking at film” to explain the delay in announcing it. Solid, even by Favre-needs-to-have-the-spotlight-on-him standards. As for his former team, Jets version, this was a rather pointed quote from an unnamed ex-teammate:

“Another player, who requested anonymity, launched this salvo at the future Hall of Famer: “I’m tired of being part of his soap opera. If he really wanted to win a championship, he’d be right here. Let’s call it for what it is: He wants to play for Minnesota so he can stick it to Green Bay twice a year. He’s just being selfish. I’m not surprised.”