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Giant flop.

She sure knows how to work the media though, so you’ve got to give her credit for that.

Rumors swirled that she was announcing a partnership to do a NASCAR and IRL schedule, or that, even worse, she was announcing that she was going to make her stock car debut in the ARCA race in Daytona in February.

Instead, it was a new paint scheme for her IRL car.

Must have been a slow day on Good Morning America.

A report broke late Thursday that Mark Martin and Jimmie Johnson’s cars barely exceeded NASCAR’s tolerance levels on certain parts of the bodies after Sunday’s race at Dover, and that NASCAR had asked Hendrick Motorsports not to bring those cars back to the track.

Not true, said NASCAR spokesman Kerry Tharp.

So why the fuss?

Well, Johnson and Martin are 1-2 in the points standings. And Johnson’s crew chief, Chad Knaus–widely regarded as the best in the business–has been suspended and fined for rules infractions before.

“Obviously Chad has more fines than anyone in NASCAR history, so that’s where the rumors are going to come from. I think good for them. I wish that was us, when we go to inspection, we should have everything maxed to every limit that we possibly can without going over. That’s the job of ingenuity as a crew chief and as a team in the sport,” Brian Vickers said.

That’s precisely why Hendrick Motorsports has been the dominant team this season. They maximize every millimeter given to them by the rulebook.

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Until the 2009 Sprint Cup Chase

So for those of you that will be so hung over on football and beer Sunday evening that watching cars go in circles for 500 miles seems entertaining, here’s what you can expect on Sunday night.

A Hendrick car is going to win — Yeah, I’m going way out on a limb that may not hold me here, but consider that Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon have nothing to lose because they’re locked in the Chase, and they’ve run extremely well at Atlanta before. Add in Mark Martin, who has been spectacular on the intermediate tracks when he hasn’t been snakebitten, and of course the points leader Tony Stewart, and there’s a chance that six Hendrick cars finish in the top 10.

If a Hendrick car doesn’t win… — It’s going to be Kyle Busch. Shrub won last year at Atlanta and needs another great run to get back into the Chase. I don’t think that he’s going to miss the Chase, and a win Sunday night would give him five, enough to guarantee at least a share of first place after the points reset. Assuming, of course, that he actually does get into the Chase.

The cluster between 7th and 12th — Just 50 points separate those six drivers, and 12th place Matt Kenseth has just a 34 point lead on Shrub. So yeah, it’s conceivable that Busch could end up in seventh or eighth when the night is over with. The same goes for Brian Vickers, who’s now just five points behind Busch. If I was to guess, I’d say that Juan Pablo Montoya is the likeliest driver currently in the top 12 to fall out after Richmond.

And honestly, it was a really eventful weekend.

–The big boys were off, so NASCAR’s Busch* Series had the Sunday show this weekend at the Circuit Gilles Villenueve. It was a clusterf*ck of a race, taking four hours to run 200 miles on the 2.7 mile 14 turn road course, but if you had the patience for it, it produced some wacky racing, including Marcos Ambrose’s curb-hop on the final turn of the final lap to give Carl Edwards the win.

–The weather in Montreal was rainy for most of the weekend, and Sunday was no exception. With approximately 16 laps to go, the rain started to fall and NASCAR called the teams into pit lane so that the crews could equip the cars with rain tires and windshield wipers. Last year’s race was run predominantly in the pouring rain, and drivers were very hesitant to be aggressive, so the racing wasn’t all that exciting. This year? Well… let’s just say that there are fewer wrecks at the bumper cars at the state fair than there were in those final 12 laps. With two laps to go, there were about five cars spun and stuck in the middle of turn two in front of the whole field, and NASCAR was so frustrated that they kept the race green. I bet Ambrose was wishing they’d have thrown the caution…

–Those aerodynamic adjustments that the IndyCar Series made about a month ago sure are working, and it looks like the series has regained distinction of having the best oval racing in the country. It was the fourth closest finish in IndyCar history, and was even more impressive considering that Ryan Briscoe used his last magic mushroom on the next-to-last lap while Scott Dixon was using one coming out of the final turn. I wonder what would have happened if Dixon would have had Bullet Bill.

What a call by me.

Ok, kidding, but Brian Vickers made his fuel last to the end and got Toyota’s first win at Michigan International Speedway (the home race to the troubled three automakers).

Vickers also moves into 13th in the points standings, just 12 points behind 12th place Mark Martin, who ran out of fuel on the last lap and finished 31st, instead of maybe in the top 10.

And the guy that Vickers leapfrogged in the points?

Kyle Busch.

This sets up perfectly for Bristol, a half mile bullring that’s ideal for settling–and creating–disputes on a hot, humid, late August Saturday night.

With any luck, Vickers will be racing Busch for the win late.

Because that could be epic.

If the finish to yesterday’s Busch* race is any indication.

And no, I’m not talking about Brad Keselowski.

If Brian Vickers had more than one Sprint Cup win to his credit–the one where he dumped Jimmie Johnson and Junior–this would be hailed as the second coming of Donnie Allison v. Cale Yarborough.

Vickers is less than two years older than Busch, and like Busch, left/was told to leave Hendrick Motorsports at a very young age. But while Busch found smashing success as soon as he stepped in Joe Gibbs Racing’s Toyotas, Vickers’ Red Bull Toyotas haven’t been consistently fast.

But he’s getting there. Today marks the third straight Michigan race that Vickers has won the pole for. (Busch starts 39th)

And more importantly, with a good finish, Vickers could leap past Busch in the standings.

In all honesty, NASCAR needs Busch and Vickers to hate each other, whether it be on the track or in real life. 10 of the 12 drivers in the top 12 are over 30 (Kasey Kahne is 29, and Denny Hamlin is Busch’s teammate.) and while the Jeff Gordon-Dale Earnhardt rivalry worked among the drivers’ fanbases because of the generational and cultural gaps, it didn’t really happen on the race track.

But like most NASCAR feuds these days, maybe Busch and Vickers will kiss up and declare a truce by next weekend.

I sure hope not.

I’m so funny.

Today, Carl Long lost his appeal of the penalty that was assessed against him at Lowe’s Motor Speedway in the middle of May.

Long, who runs his own team part time on a shoestring budget, was suspended for 12 races and had his crewchief fined $200,000 for an illegal engine. The engine, which blew up during practice for the Sprint Showdown, the qualifying race for the All-Star Race, had to be turned in to NASCAR if Long wanted to put a new one in the car for the race.

NASCAR ruled that the engine was 358.17 cubic inches. The limit is 358.00 cubic inches, but word is that NASCAR allows anything up to 358.09.

So yes, a $200,000 fine to a guy who can afford to come to the racetrack 4-5 times a year for an engine that was .08 cubic inches above the maximum.

What the hell?

Technical violations by teams who can hardly afford to attempt to qualify are fairly common, considering the number of rules that need to be followed. However, the fine set forth by NASCAR in this place is unprecedented, even for the teams that can (well, could) afford to pay them.

If NASCAR was serious about welcoming anyone with a desire to attempt to race in the Sprint Cup Series, they’d overturn this fine in a heartbeat. I understand that Long broke the rules, and that he needs to pay the price. But that price shouldn’t be end of his desire to run in NASCAR’s top series.

Poole passed away Tuesday at his home at the age of 50.

Poole was the preeminent NASCAR writer in the country. He held the coveted motorsports beat at the Charlotte Oberver, one of the most prestigious newspaper sports beats in the country. (Yes, newspapers still exist–for now.)

If you were a fan at all of motorsports you read Poole’s newspaper work, his blogs, or listened to him on his Sirius satellite radio show. If there was an issue in NASCAR, David Poole’s take mattered. You can’t say that about many people.

And David wasn’t a fan of Joe Posnanski. You can’t say that about many people either.

After being exiled from NASCAR’s top series, Stremme showed enough promise as a Penske test driver and driver for Rusty Wallace in the Busch* Series, Stremme earned another chance, this time replacing Ryan Newman for Roger Penske.

In an offseason of crazy sponsorship happenings, Stremme and Penske’s may be the weirdest. Since Sprint is the title sponsor for NASCAR’s top series, no other new telecommunications company can enter the sport. Cingular and Alltell were grandfathered in, and when AT&T bought Cingular, a long drawn out legal fight ensued to see if AT&T could continue to sponsor Burton’s car. AT&T won their injunction, but had to leave the sport at the end of last season.

With Verizon’s purchase of Alltell, Stremme’s car was left without a sponsor for 2009. However, since Alltell had two years remaining on their deal with Penske, Verizon will fully fund the #12 car for 09 and 10 despite not being able to put any decals on the car. They will, however, be able to use Stremme’s likeness in any advertising that they do, and are also sponsoring Penske’s Busch* effort with Justin Allgaier for the full season, in what looks to be the most expensive Busch* sponsorship in history.

The man with many last name pronunciations is back for another year, but becaus of his lack of marketability and the fact that he didn’t have a full time sponsor last year, Kvapil–pronounced at times as Kah-va-pil, Va-pil and Kwa-pil–is only guaranteed to run the first five races for Yates.

And to make matters worse, the owner’s points that Kvapil accumulated last year are going to Bobby Labonte, who came over in an alliance with Hall of Fame Racing because Ask.com wanted a big name to drive their car when they made their first major money foray into NASCAR sponsorship this season.

If you have a soul, you have to have sympathy for Kvapil’s situation.

However, as he showed last year, Kvapil can be a capable wheel man, overperforming for Yates. Granted, overperforming meant staying above 25th, but for a team without full time sponsors for both of their cars, that’s a great achievement.

With the cash inflow from Ask.Com and Menard’s to help buoy Yates, Kvapil will qualify for the first five races, lock himself into the top 35 after those five races, and force Yates to run Kvapil’s unsponsored car whether they like it or not.