The Sports Frog

Today is my 5th anniversary of joining this website. I followed a link from Gino, who we then helped win the Super Bowl commercial thing, and we haven't heard from him since.

I have learned and seen many things in my time here. It is not as difficult to explain having a friend on the internet as it was five years ago. At some point someone got drunk and even allowed me to write on the front page.

Some of us have married, some have divorced, some have battled illnesses, one guy even died. We've had get togethers, Fantasy Baseball auctions, a great dinner at Sammy's, and even finally banned HWNWWNM.

I have learned how expensive it is to call Scottie in Canada on my cell phone. I have helped many Swampers disinfect their computers, I have collected money for too many pools and I even talked with a few guys about sobriety.

I watched a certain female UF student manipulated us with her stories of sexual prowess with most of the Gator basketball team, just so we could vote for her to win a contest.

I have watched countless soccer threads go by and yet I still don't get it. And that is what this place is all about.

Take what you like and leave the rest for someone else. I am proud to call this my home in cyberspace.

A Miami-Dade jury has awarded almost $1.2 million to a 21-year-old man hit in the groin by a batting-cage pitch.

The jury decided last week that the Sluggers batting cage operation at Tamiami Park in West Miami-Dade negligently failed to properly supervise its employees.

Lhyvann Felipe, who was 19 years old at the time, was hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch, said his attorney, Gabriel M. Sanchez. He was hospitalized several days later.

The ball struck him after an employee asked him to go back into the batting cage to help pick up the balls.

The machine, which had already completed the cycle and did not have the lights on, spit out the ball, which hit him.

Remberto Sanchez, an owner of Sluggers, declined to comment. Sluggers' attorneys did not return calls for comment. The judgment called for Felipe to be paid $160,000 for medical expenses and $1 million for pain and suffering.

That made me cringe and immediately check on my twins. The main legal question is, would John Kruk or Mike Lowell only get 500k for pain and suffering?

The best thing that will happen on Wednesday is that no matter who wins what, we won't have anymore stoopid political ads to endure.

We at the Sports Frog are proud to introduce a new editor. He will be editing the articles posted by some of the most well-known writers around this great innertubes. Let's face it, many of these guys just don't know how to get to the point. Many spend too much time beating around the bush, burying the lede, trying to be clever. Our new editor knows the importance of just saying what you mean.

Without further ado, I introduce Ernest Hemingway, who will today edit the latest by ESPN.com's Rick Reilly. The original drones on and on about being mistaken for others:

In one stretch this month, Alex Rodriguez's name was on the front page of the New York Post eight days out of twelve. Paparazzi even followed him to Pittsburgh. Who knew life could suck at $27 million a year?

Madonna once said, "I won't be happy until I am more famous than God," but right now A-Rod is probably wishing she wasn't--and that he'd gone into dentistry. None of this is new. When John Elway was at the height of his powers, he told me, "I'd give $100,000 just to have one day where I could go to the mall and not be noticed. Just be somebody else."

I knew exactly how he felt. People constantly think I'm somebody else.

and:

"You signing today, Rick?" "I'm signing everyday, pal," I said. "Nobody ever asks." "Hah!" he chortled. "Surrrrre. You won this thing six times, right? Or is it seven?" "Uh, no," I said. "You're thinking of Rick Rhoden. The ex-pitcher. Different guy." "Yeah, Rick Reilly, the pitcher! You're the best! I have your rookie card!"

Sigh. I signed my name over Rhoden's face and left it at that. That night, I told Kansas City Chiefs coach Herm Edwards the story.

Now, for Papa Hemingway's Edited version of the same story, in its entirety:

I sometimes am mistaken for others. It makes me angry.

That was easy.

• The Shaq rap - cause if it's good enough to lead sportscenter, it's damn good enough to lead this list.
• Don Imus being both sarcastic and a wonderful human all at once
• Cedric Benson ordered to install an ignition-lock breath tester in his car
• Dwayne Jarrett pleads guilty to DWI
• Pacman Jones, taking time away from praying for Don Imus, wants to drop the Pacman nickname because of all the 'negativity behind it'
• Jevon Kearse charged with a DUI at almost five in the morning even though he was
• Another DUI you ask? Carmelo Anthony can provide
• Horse racing still sucks, is evil, and has very little still good in it
• Two big college football arrests: One in Clemson after a safety on the Tigers tried to choke his girlfriend and another at UCF after a running back there was charged with 'preventing or hindering firefighter equipment and damage of property'. And, yes, college football is a professional sport.

I have always loved the round mound of rebound, the mouth of the south. Charles Barkley is a modern day Will Rodgers, who tells it like it is, with his own unique style and flair. He also is one of the few people to have claimed to have been misquoted in his own autobiography.

When not throwing annoying fans through bar windows or appearing on TV, he can usually be found gambling.

"Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem," Barkley said. "But I don't consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble."

He said he never bet on basketball and only bet in casinos. He called it a bad habit but said he intended to continue.

Charles Barkley acknowledged he owes a $400,000 gambling debt to a Las Vegas Strip casino and promised Thursday to repay it after a prosecutor said the retired NBA star faced criminal charges.

"My mistake," Barkley said in an interview at a pro-am golf tournament in Hoover, Ala. "I'm not broke, and I'm going to take care of it."

We all know about Buzz by now. I personally had no idea who the guy was until he choked on his foot on HBO.

I write for this site, or blog as the case may be, because I enjoy it. No agenda, no specific vile or venom. And yes Buzz my computer is located in my basement. Additionally I do utilize poor grammar as in my real life I have not had to write much since college.

Buzz I may not be as famous as you, but I have an audience away from the keyboard, having done stand-up for years and radio for six years. So either I have fooled a lot of people or they are interested in what I have to say. I only wish I had been on that panel because I am like you, "I am a man of passion, and my passion got the better of me." And then I probably would have gotten the better of you in the parking lot too.

Here are some excerpts:

Q: And though we're not defending the use of the F-word or condemning it, clearly, there's a place for it in blogging or journalism - for instance, it appeared 21 times in your Vanity Fair profile of Don Imus last year.

A: I am not going to go back to the article and count the number of times the word "fuck" was used. I can tell you this-none of the uses were gratuitous or spur of the moment.

Q: We found the "blogs are dumbing down sports fans" argument to be highly debatable - the exact opposite could be said.

A: In the light of day, I think we are all guilty of the dumbing down not just of sports fans but of society. I was guilty of it on the Costas show.

While I didn't exactly take your attack personally, nor do I think our site qualifies as vile or dumbing down sports, Buzz from me to you: Go Fuck yourself.

Cheerleaders are taking Indian cricket by storm, but some are wondering if this conservative South Asian nation is ready for dancers with bulging breasts and gyrating bellies parading in packed stadia.

Many foreign cheerleaders have been imported to India with this month's inauguration of the India Premier League (IPL), a shortened form of traditional cricket that transforms the game into a more glitzy U.S.-style sponsored sport event.

But some outraged politicians say it is an affront to Indian culture while a few of the cheerleaders themselves complain lewd comment and insults from spectators is making their job a misery.

"It's been horrendous," Tabitha, a cheerleader from Uzbekistan, told the Hindustan Times. "

"Wherever we go we do expect people to pass lewd, snide remarks but I'm shocked by the nature and magnitude of the comments people pass here."

The IPL has caught the imagination of India, a nation of 1.1 billion and the world's biggest cricket audience. TV rights sold for more than $900 million and players for eight teams, many imported from abroad, were auctioned for millions.

In contrast to the cliched cricket image of genteel spectators sipping tea while politely applauding their team, now scantily-clad dancers gyrate to Bollywood or Western-style dance music blaring out from loudspeakers in stadia.

Even well-known cheerleaders from the Washington Redskins flew to India to perform for the Bangalore Royal Challengers. Photos of the dancers graced the front pages of most newspapers.

I say this is an excellent effort to help stabilize our country's trade deficit and we should continue to export some of our reusable (or very used, as the case may be) natural (or surgically enhanced) resources.

The Japanese owners of former Kentucky Derby winner War Emblem are struggling to explain why the American thoroughbred has lost his libido.

Even a private harem and a limitless supply of Viagra have failed to pep up the love life of a stallion his handlers freely admit has some personal issues.

"We've tried everything," Nobuo Tsunoda, director of the prestigious Shadai Stallion Station on Japan's northern island of Hokkaido, told Reuters.

"You name it we've tried it. We had him on Viagra -- that didn't work. I even went into (Sapporo's) red light district with 300,000 yen in cash and brought back a lot of 'special' medicine to try and perk him up.

"It's very odd. He's not impotent. He's just very choosy about his women. He's more human than animal. Basically he's a bit of a weirdo."

War Emblem won the 2002 Kentucky Derby but has had problems in the breeding shed since being sold to the prominent Yoshida racing family for around $17 million (8.6 million pounds) later that year.

The 2008 race takes place on Saturday and its winner can expect big fees when he goes to stud. War Emblem has been a disappointment, however.

"He's been in contact with hundreds of mares but has successfully mated with a only a tiny percentage," said Tsunoda. "We have him on male hormone injections to see it that will help."

"It's not normal," continued Tsunoda. "A normal stud would climb onto any mare he sees but not him. He's just doesn't seem to like sex anymore -- which is odd."

Sometimes comedy just writes itself.

From Firejoemorgan.com:

What Bissinger did that was so annoying to me was: he lumped all of these into one thing ("Deadspin," essentially), and furthermore, conflated the actual blog and the people who write for it with the silly comments people make at the bottom of every article.

It's a big dumb ignorant mistake to do this. It's a big hot wet mushy smelly bonebrained mistake to mix blog comments and blog articles. It's an even bigger mistake, in my opinion, to disparage the level of discourse on the Internet and use blog comments as an example. (And swear a ton while doing it, while saying that the Internet is "profane.") Picking a random blog comment and wielding it as a club to bash "blogs" is like picking a random romance novel off an airport bookstore shelf and saying, "This book sucks. Fuck you, Tolstoy -- your medium is worthless!"

I'd add to it, but there's no value for me to add. I only wish that the talented guys at FJM were viewed as more indicative of blog-dom than Deadspin, which is one of my least favorite sites on the web. I just don't see its value. Yeah, there's some irony there, I know.

...to this, but I've got a pilonidal cyst on my ass that may or may not have developed from overexposure to a mattress spring that has been poking me while I sit here in my mom's basement.

I was directed to those comments by Firejoemorgan.com, a ridiculously good site that you should be reading right now instead of this one. Let me know when you get back.

Now, Junior has said pretty much everything I would say if he hadn't already said it. One point I would add is this: most mainstream sportswriters are no longer the best at showing insight to the world of sports. I'm sorry about that use of high-level punctuation back there, Reills, but I was assured by my editors that a colon was acceptable in that instance.

The fact is that -- yes, I understand the paradox of a blogger writing this -- that I would rather read blogs such as FJM for clever, coherent writing than many mainstream outlets. Hell, I don't even like newspapers!

You want irony? Follow this:

1) a guy writes that he is concerned about this "new journalism" that he might have to learn
2) same guy is the main reason that one of these "new journalism" proponents (read: me) canceled his subscription to an "old journalism" magazine (read: SI)

That's not really my point. (Fuck. I buried my lede. I'll never make it as a journalist.) Reilly asks in that link: "Why are they writing?" and I answer thusly:

I write because I enjoy it; it makes me happy to have an outlet. I don't do it for a paycheck or for any glory. Would I take it if said money or glory came my way? You're damn right I would.

I write because I am never so happy as when I am putting words on a piece of paper or in a tiny little Movable Type box.

I write for me, not for anyone else, though I am happy when people like things I write. I don't write sappy, preachy, pieces that foist how I feel upon others with the intent of making them feel the same way. I'm not better than anyone out there reading this just because I asked the guys that run this place if I could join them a few years back. I'm also not worse than a lot of guys with jobs at newspapers.

It comes down to chances. My chances led me in a different direction; that direction gave me a degree and a decent paycheck with which to pay my bills. What that direction didn't do was sate my thirst for writing. Nothing will. Ever. That's why I write. Maybe if Rick Reilly remembered that was why he started he'd understand why Joe Blogger does what he does.

Mixed Race Athlete Said to be Both Scrappy AND Athletic

Well done, DJ. Well done.

" "Part of me wants to go to Duke, but I also like Memphis, too," he said. "Maybe I'll play half my career one place and half my career at the other."

Heh.

I used to lambast Bill Simmons regularly. Then I didn't post as much, and recently, his stuff (mainly about the NBA) has been pretty good. We all know what we're getting with Simmons. Take him or leave him. He's got a pretty good gig, so that's nice for him.

Then I read his latest article for ESPN the Magazine. The crux is that the future of sports movies is going to be ugly.

His rationale? Re-watchability. Is that the true measure of a good sports movie? I'll stop and watch Bull Durham anytime I see it on television. Major League? Ditto. Same for Rounders (which Simmons mentions). I'm also not so arrogant as to say that just because I won't watch Million Dollar Baby over and over that it isn't a pretty well-made movie. It's also hard to watch Schindler's List a bunch of times. Just because something makes you squirm doesn't mean it can be dismissed as a good film.

Maybe it's this: Instead of Hollywood making enjoyable movies about sports, they decided to make good movies that had sports as a central theme, or sometimes even just a distraction to the main idea of the movie. Does anyone think Remember the Titans was a football movie? It was a race movie that used a football team as the medium to tell its story.

Simmons has seen the ugly future of sports movies. I'll politely disagree and say that, as someone who no longer has the time to watch all the sports movies that come to theaters, I'd rather go in knowing that effort has been put in to make a good film about sports than a good sports movie. And at home, I'll just put my Durham DVD in if I can't find Hoosiers on the tube. Note, of course, that certain movies (Maybe even Semi-Pro) cannot be saved from being a bad movie just by being about sports.

The Swamp is kicking it around, and highlights that Simmons himself may be a little ironic as it pertains to his career arc. However, I think the real irony is that Simmons writes this piece for a magazine that is a big reason that I think the future of sports magazines is ugly.

My opinion, of course.

I have hated Stephen A. Smith from the very first time I ever viewed him on ESPN. I had never heard of him before and did not know he was a columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer. It also didn't help his case that he was the replacement for David Aldridge (who I thoroughly enjoyed).

ESPN brass thought so highly of Screaming A. that they gave him his own TV show on ESPN2. Of course the show lasted as long as Lindsey Lohan's sobriety because the ratings were equivalent to, and this is a direct quote, the amount of viewers equal to pets accidentally turning on the remote.

Fresh off of being fired from the Philadelphia Inquirer, Mr Smith has started his own blog. In the words of Aaron Gleeman "....it's a shame that he's now besmirching the good name of bloggers everywhere. I liked it a whole lot better when horrible newspaper columnists just made fun of bloggers."

Additionally Mr. Smith is being vilified, mocked and verbally raped in the comments section on his own blog. Here are a few samples.

• Remember that time you said the Chargers should kick a field goal on third down because if you miss, you can just kick it again on fourth down?

That was awesome. I hope this blog is that awesome too.

• anytime you speak, i have to find the remote and lower the volume on my tv by about half. i hate you for that.

• To subscribe to the Offline version of the Blog do I need to do anything besides unplug my internet connection?

• Didn't you just tear into bloggers last month, saying that they undermine true professionals like yourself?

• Are all your posts going to show up 12 days after you've written them?

Because that would make sense.

• So stupidity comes in an online format now? Terrific.

Huh. Had no idea HBO had pulled the plug. The show had been on for 31 years, and was drawing about two million viewers a week. Seems pretty healthy for the network. Guess not.

Bob Costas, per usual, was not one to mince words:

"Bob Costas, on the show's final episode, said it best, calling it 'a bone-headed decision to discontinue one of the best and longest-running shows on television.'''

And, where will I go to fulfill my weekly quota of dumb looks and people talking past each other? Work? I try to interact with them as little as possible. Cris Carter and Dan Marino, your quietly comic work will sorely be missed.

...the technical difficulties are indeed lifting.

Fresh content (for those poor bastards who stumble this way) will resume soon.

I want to be thinner without the benefit of exercise. I want Joe Morgan replaced on Sunday night baseball. I want Hank Seinbrenner to shut the fuck up. I want an outlet to plug in my laptop at the MABL draft this season. I want a job like MJD got. There's a lot of things I want.

And what does Barry Bonds want? He wants the his perjury charges to be dismissed. Well Barry, as I was told as a young child, shit in one hand and want in the other and see which one fills up first.

Like a lot of people, we are big fans of MJD, who has moved, since our inception, from wildy successful creator of his own blog, to AOL Fanhouse, to, now, Yahoo Sports as an NFL Expert.

If you have been looking for him since he disappeared from Fanhouse, look here to Yahoo instead.

Nice to see genuine talent rewarded with a career.

...head to Airing of Grievances and check out this post from Cozmo.

Disclaimer: it is not sports related, but well worth your time.

Further disclaimer: It's political. But more social. And dead on.

Additional disclaimer: It whacks both houses, so worry not about fair, and balance.

Final note: If you are tired of the boomer generation too, it scratches you where you itch. And not to be missed.

On behalf of the posters on this part of the Frog and internets, have a nice day off and a good start to the year.

It's Festivus. Well, it will be on Sunday. But internet traffic is down on the weekends (it turns out people surf more from work...who knew?), and the stuff at Airing of Grievances deserves to be read widely. Which means you are compelled to head to Airing of Grievances today and find who has a problem with what.

What, you have something better to do? Bullshit. It's not like you will be working seriously anyway this close to a few days off next week.

The introduction to the day here.

The link to the main site here.

Head there often today and keep scrolling, because you will miss good stuff if you don't check it often.

And, on this Festivus (three days early), an acknowledgement again of the goodness that is AofG and a tip of the cap to the high quality they consistently bring, year after year. Props, fellas. Forever, props.

Swamp legend zumba has launched a new website called mysportsgods.com where he is trying to create a sort of ultra Hall of Fame.

It's an idea conceived in The Swamp, and zumba has given birth to a new website where he is welcoming submissions for the players you think are the best athletes in the history of the world.

Yep, you can even nominate Buddy Biancalana.

Let me begin by saying I have an obvious bias regarding the writer's strike as my brother is a member of the WGA. But this all reminds me of 1976 and Andy Messersmith and Dave McNally.

As the baseball owners before them, the Hollywood studios do not want to share the money. Baseball said free agency would financially destroy the sport. The studios said: "Take a cut in residuals while we develop the in-home video market." That cut was over 20 years ago.

I remember when James Garner quit the Rockford Files because part of his pay was a slice of the profits. Turns out the other producers (Universal Studios) were seriously cooking the books.

Later in the 1980s, after he attempted to fulfill his Rockford contract with a 1981 Maverick revival titled Bret Maverick, Garner became engaged in a legal dispute with Universal regarding the profits from Rockford that lasted over a decade, causing (and reflecting) significant ill will on both sides. The dispute was settled out of court (for an undisclosed amount) in Garner's favor, but because of this conflict, the Rockford character would not re-emerge until 1994.

Today every player gets a check from the union (with the exception of non-members who crossed the picket line during the last work stoppage) for the use of their name, likeness and other assorted rights.

Today every writer gets consistently dicked around even though they are the creative force behind what we watch. Why don't producers have a union? They don't need one.

Once again we have a huge industry with billions of dollars running around like chicken little screaming the sky is falling, while fucking over the writers (players). Sounds like the same tune, different verse to me.

Lists, lies and in this case damned be the statistics. Swamp All-Star, Rex Kramer mentioned this article from Game Spot regarding EA Games March Madness 08.

Here is a sample of their writing. The intro: "What's old is always new in college basketball, a sport that has respected and honored its past for decades. That goes for college basketball video games, too. Although classic teams are nothing new for college games, this year's NCAA March Madness 08 from EA Sports is taking a look backward with its ranking of the top 50 college players of all time. Now, any list like this is going to be fertile territory for argument....."

I cannot comprehend the first sentence. It is not only contradictory but really makes no sense at all. Addtionally, I think every sport honors their past, some sports do it even better than college basketball.

Now the list.
1. Michael Jordan -- North Carolina -- 96
2. Kevin Durant -- Texas -- 94

For a moment we will stop right there and add this simple disclaimer. Kevin Durant is on the cover of the fucking game. This makes him #2 on the list of all time college players? Better than Magic, Bird, Clyde, Sampson, Walton?

3. Earvin Johnson -- Michigan State -- 94
4. Clyde Drexler -- Houston -- 92
5. Larry Bird -- Indiana State -- 92
6. Steve Nash -- Santa Clara -- 91
7. Kenny Anderson -- Georgia Tech -- 89
8. Chris Bosh -- Georgia Tech -- 89
9. Richard Hamilton -- Connecticut -- 89
10. Jamal Mashburn -- Kentucky -- 89

Perhaps someone can refresh my memory with how great Nash was in college but I think he i taking Pistol Pete's spot there. There was also this former Knick and New Jersey Senator that played at Princeton that you may want to include in the top 10. And where is the Dream? Lew Alcindor? Meadowlark Lemon?

11. Jason Terry -- Arizona -- 89
12. Reggie Williams -- Georgetown -- 89
13. Ray Allen -- Connecticut -- 88
14. Carmelo Anthony -- Syracuse -- 88
15. Butch Beard -- Louisville -- 88
16. Travis Best -- Georgia Tech -- 88
17. Mike Bibby -- Arizona -- 88
18. Junior Bridgeman -- Louisville -- 88
19. Caron Butler -- Connecticut -- 88
20. Mike Dunleavy -- Duke -- 88

Nice to see a white stiff at #20, but if I recall correctly Carmelo played 1 year of NCAA BBall. Oscar Robertson? Jerry Lucas? Grant Hill?

EA Sports obviously markets to kids so their history is obviously a shorter span of time. But why lie to the kids? Why make a game and pimp out your cover boy as #2 all-time when he can't even legitimately crack the top ten.

As far as lists go, props to Yahoo for this one, it's fun trip down obscure and forgotten video-game memory lane. The games on the list?

1. Carmageddon
2. Wolfenstein 3D
3. Mortal Kombat
4. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Take 2)
5. Pokemon
6. BMX XXX
7. C & C: Generals
8. Football Manager 2005
9. The Guy Game
10. GRAW2
11. Manhunt 2

Why banned? A variety of sins including violence, Nazi references, sex, nudity, and Tibetan soccer teams (that explains the Football Manager ban in China). The countries laying the smack down at various times? US, UK, China, Saudi, Germany, etc. Follow the link for the details, it's a fun read to start a Monday.

To: Any professional athlete who has ever used HGH as prescribed from a doctor

Re: being proactive

All,

If you are a professional athlete who has used HGH on the advice from a doctor, please get as many copies of the doctor's notes as you can, as well as any other documentation that might be useful to you or that could in any way be harmful to your career or your image and immediately call a press conference in which you own up to using HGH. Bring your doctor along.

Trust us, it's going to suck for a couple of days, but you'll eventually be noted for being a stand-up person about it.

Since this is apparently a day for acknowledging that which we often relentlessly mock, praise is due ESPN.com for a fascinating piece about Ron Jones, grandson of Jim Jones, the infamous cult leader responsible for the deaths of 900 of his followers.

While I've seen the movies and read the stories about Jonestown, I had no idea about the link between the cult and basketball, which saved the life of one of Jones' sons (who eventually became Rob's father).

Well, well worth a read.

One of his legal oopsies has had the trial moved to March (the Georgia obstruction of justice one). Also, he's giving out 1500 tickets to the Total Nonstop Action Wrestling's "Bound For Glory" pay-per-view event on Oct. 14 in Duluth, Ga.! For youths with good grades AND good behavior!

So...students in Fulton County, you are warned. Start tanking tests and acting out now to avoid having to go to "Bound for Glory". Otherwise you will be forced to see a continuation of this kind of compelling action:

"Jones signed with TNA in July and won TNA's tag team title with Ron "The Truth" Killings last month despite being barred by a restraining order from doing anything physical that would hurt his future NFL career. He covered up Sting for the pinfall."

That's some tight reporting from the Tennessean right there.

For one, a team of golfers from the United States dominated a Cup event, winning the President's Cup 19.5-14.5, only it wasn't that close. Now, the US has dominated this event and now holds a 5-1-1 record, but after a draw in 2003 and a narrow win in 2005, it had been some time since a US team had routed an opponent. Everyone is familiar with the Ryder Cup History. So, let's close the door on that surprise with a look at the report cards for the US and International Teams.

Then, as has been mentioned below, I got to watch my favorite pro football team lay one on my old favorite football team. Vey few predicted the comprehensive manner in which the Browns would take out the Ravens. It was never close. The first six times the Ravens reached the territory of the Browns, they were only able to muster six points. The Cleveland defense played as well as they have all season. While probably not a playoff team this season, it makes it easier to think about "down the road."

Speaking of "down the road," that's something that I have been forced to look to for as long as I've watched college football. Then, after a better than the scoreline 45-17 win over Florida Atlantic, coupled with losses of many teams ranked in front of them, the University of Kentucky Wildcats find themselves ranked 8th in the nation.

This is impossible for me to comprehend. If a UK team shows up in the polls at 5-0 and ranked 8th, it's somewhat disappointing, but only because that's usually the basketball team, not the football team. The last time UK was ranked this highly was 1977, the first fall I was alive. Since then it's been a treasure trove of maligned fandom. Marty Moore fumbling at the Peach Bowl. Twenty-plus straight losses to both Florida and Tennessee. Devery Henderson and premature Gatorade baths.

Then, Rich Brooks came in, to much scorn, and told us he was going to 1) Clean up the program off probation 2) Recruit better players and get depth and 3)Start to be relevant again. After seasons of calls for his job, even extending into last years eventual 8-5 campaign, Brooks has shown himself true to his word. Granted, only one SEC game has been played by these Cats, but if you take relevance to mean that the LSUs, Floridas and Georgias of the conference aren't taking games against UK for granted, then Mission Accomplished.

There is still a lot of work to do, and it resumes Thursday, against South Carolina in Columbia. I'm just going to enjoy the ride, because historically this isn't a ride that we get on very often. And Boss, if you're reading this, I'm feeling a little under the weather. I think it's one of those bugs with a four day gestation period. I might be a little late Friday Morning, win or lose.

Eighth? Really?

L'shana Tovah

Count me among those who are curious to see what exactly a $20 million sports restaurant in a super-upscale casino run by Jay-Z will look like.

The whole "85 plasma high-definition TVs" seems like a good start.

Tom 1860, with a preview of the Rugby World Cup opener, this Friday. Don't forget to check out this thread in The Swamp for more Rugby-scussion.

France play Argentina in the opening game of the 2007 rugby world cup on Friday night in Paris.

France have a great defence and they will attempt to soak up Argentine pressure and then beat them on the break. Look for a French victory by 8-12 points, but a close game until the final 20 minutes (rugby is contested over 2 halves, each lasting 40 minutes) when the Argentine team will be very tired and concede points and commit sin-bin offences.

A new blog from two of my favorite Memphis sports talk hosts (Peter Edmiston and Will Askew of 560 WHBQ) entitled These Enormous Children (SNL shout-out there) with a nice find to some enterprising soul's video-list of the top 11 pick-up basketball archetypes. The eleven types so identified?

1. Johnny Clear-out
2. Mr. Excuses
3. Rulebook Jones (heh, 3-second violation guy)
4. Hypothetical dunker
5. Immovable fat guy
6. Richard Simmons (excessive stretching guy)
7. Player/coach
8. Always fouled guy & Never fouls guy
9. Bad gear dude
10. Dr. Quick Skins (always volunteers for skins)
11. Baller the Kid (the 10-year-old who can always play)

Fun video. Others to add to the list? They missed old guy who thinks he's Kevin McHale with 35 second slow backdown to the basket moves. I am actually morphing into that guy as the years go by. Well, him and immovable fat guy. Damn. I hate this list. It's been 20 years since I would have entertained the thought of being Dr. Quick Skins.

Confessions as to your type? Additions to the list? General thoughts? Bring them here, in the Swamp.

I am not even going to pretend I know anything about rugby. Luckily, though, The Swamp is blessed with those who do. Tom 1860, easily the most awesome Swamper currently living in Bristol, England (just east of God's country), has posted a preview of the upcoming Rugby World Cup.

I am pasting it here, and you can read the rest after the jump. Beware, there are loads of words you would expect to hear on a Rugby-pitch. Or whatever ruggers call a field. Also some gratuitous use of the English 'u' in words like colour and rumour and common misspellings of things like center and defense.

Be sure to check in this thread in The Swamp for more hot scrum action.

"Here's the proper, I fucking know about rugby review (Which will include huge stereo-typing):

Favourites (In order of rank): New Zealand, South Africa, France, Ireland, Australia, England, Wales, Argentina, Italy and Scotland.

Team overviews and players to watch:

New Zealand - The All Blacks: Bed-shitters-extraordinaire, but by far the best team. Have been the best team between cups in 1995, 1999, and 2003, but have found a way to lose. Would be a national disaster if they lost and, in my humble opinion, only South Africa or France can take them. They cheat better than any other team in the world and get away with it.

Players to watch:
Captain Richie McCaw @ 7, best forward (I changed this from foward, which actually might be a rugby position, I wouldn't know - AB) in the game, do everything back row forward, always the 1st to the breakdown (When a tackle is made, the ballcarrier goes to ground and has to immediately release the ball).

Rodney So'oialo, huge @ 8 who is the world's best ever cheat (cheating is something to be proud of at international level and should never be confused with dirty play).

Dale Carter @ 10, like McCaw except he is the best backs player. Is very strong and physical despite his size (like LT in football).

South Africa: Huge forwards, hate losing even more than the Australians, except they start punching people when they lose and the Aussies just bitch to the ref and media about it. Have the most physical team and love to beat on others.

Players to watch:

Shalk Berger @ 6, typical Safa, hard as fuck and even dirtier. Is as dirty as So'oialo is a cheat, Rugby's answer to Bob Probert.

Bryan Habana: @14, Big winger with fastest pair of wheels in the game."

Continue reading "Rugby World Cup" »

Casino giant Harrah's Entertainment Inc. announced Wednesday that it will partner with AEG, the company that brought David Beckham to the Los Angeles Galaxy, to build a 20,000-seat arena in Las Vegas capable of housing an NBA or NHL team.

The $500 million arena, behind the Bally's and Paris hotel-casinos on the Las Vegas Strip, is projected to open in 2010. It's a step toward attracting a pro sports franchise to a city that has tried to persuade reluctant league officials to look past its legalized sports betting.

I am sure David Stern is going to love this idea. Hell, Barkely may even come out of retirement for this.

Another NFL team? Hells no.

A CFL team? Apparently yes. Though the CFL season is half over, there a few teams rumored to be interested in getting in the spectacular NFL draft bust business. Maybe Mike Williams will be along at some point too.

Matt Millen's a tool.

Not only does your work continue to suck, but you are not getting any help from whoever is writing the copy trying to draw people into reading your suck. Verbatim from the front page of foxsports.com is this:

"The bloggers have thoroughly enjoyed ripping Jay Mohr so far. But now Jay has his own blog, and firing right back, so watch out."

Ooohhh, scary. I am sure "bloggers" are quaking. We'll probably talk about it at our weekly meetings.

Oh, to be clear, don't read any of Mohr's crap. It's fuck-awful. But do read Fire Joe Morgan every chance you get, and enjoy the expansion to their repetoire that Jay Mohr has provided.

If you aren't a reader of the ESPN Obudsman, you should be, if for no other reason than that Le Anne Schreiber weighs in derisively on "Who's Now" and other happenings in the past month of ESPN Coverage.

- "The divide was between viewers who thought it was fun to have that question "debated" on SportsCenter and those who found it silly but no fun at all. No one will be surprised to find me on the no-fun side of the aisle, but what matters now is the divide itself and what SportsCenter executives think about it."

- "(There was) another risk taken with SportsCenter last month -- having Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic of ESPN's "Mike and Mike in the Morning" radio show serve as anchors for the 6 p.m. SportsCenter on July 23. I tuned in that evening, interested to see how the duo would behave as anchors on a day when the top news stories included breaking news on the NFL commissioner's suspension of Vick and the NBA referee gambling scandal. Mike Greenberg, a former anchor, read the news in a professional manner and then joined "co-anchor" Mike Golic in passing opinion upon it, thus utterly blurring the distinction between anchor and commentator."

And, the money quote:

"I wish ESPN would consider adding to its lineup a crisp, half-hour, nightly news version of SportsCenter -- just news and highlights, without gimmicks or sponsored segments or recaps, without self- or cross-promotion, with a consistent anchor team accountable for a consistent tone, with spare to no use of instant commentary. A prime-time island of clean, clear, straightforward news on which ESPN's journalistic credibility could securely rest."

YES! YES, Le Anne! YES! I would DVR such a show and watch it in the AM. Religiously. As it is, I will not watch SportsCenter. I am so not "Now," but neither is Schreiber, who never got the memo that journalistic credibility is secondary to ratings. Unfortunately so.

"Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones is ready to step into the wrestling ring.

He signed a contract with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling and will make his in-ring debut on Thursday, the company said Monday. Terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Jones' first appearance will be for its iMPACT! show on Spike TV, and he'll appear in a pay-per-view show on Sunday. TNA films at Universal Studios in Orlando, Fla.

"I am a big fan of wrestling, so I wanted to give it a try," Jones said in a statement. "I respect wrestling and I'm not coming in like it's just a show. I want to prove that I am the greatest team-sport athlete."

Almost.

If you read Fool in the San Francisco Chronicle, you know that each year he writes a second column a week in the fall in which he starts with a bankroll and makes calls on various upcoming college and NFL games. I don't believe he has come close to breaking even in the years I've read him.

At any rate, with the hint of real football close, he breaks out the second column this week with the first betting column of the year, some tongue-in cheek, some not. A taste:

"SLOGANS (-14) over Stanford Football: Before you can say things like "Our House, Our Dream," you need to make sure that "your" house isn't a home for football nightmares and that it doesn't draw thousands more fans for soccer matches. The Fool risks 50 simoleons on the UNDER for Stanford's 2007 win total of three."

Curious.

And, to clarify, it is the Atlanta branch of the NAACP doing the defending asking for restraint from the public in terms of judging.

Drew Sharp, columnist for the Detroit Free Press, writes a must read column in response. A few highlights:

"The civil rights organization's Atlanta chapter came to Michael Vick's defense Monday, chastising those rushing to judge the embattled Atlanta Falcons quarterback before he has fully exhausted the criminal court process. But in its rush for sufficient camera time, the NAACP conveniently forgot that nobody has compromised Vick's constitutional or civil rights. If the NAACP demands involvement in Vick's legal and career difficulties, it should concentrate on shedding more public light on the sadistic subculture of dogfighting and possibly how prominent the role of the millionaire black athlete is in this disgusting practice. It should question its own hypocrisy in having no critical complaint whatsoever with Vick and other high-profile black athletes making millions off the exploitation of financially challenged black kids who must have the right athletic shoe even if it costs 200 bucks, but then rips Nike for severing ties with Vick last week simply because Nike buckled from intense public pressure after the dogfighting charges. There's a corporate lesson here that even the most morally vacuous business organization still has limits to its tolerance."

It's as good a read as I have ever seen from Drew Sharp. Highly recommended.

Police are now wondering if it was the same band of thieves that robbed Antoine Walker earlier this month. The Walker robbery was also at his home in the Chicago area.

Meanwhile, in the story on the Curry robbery, we get this odd quote from a neighbor in the tony southwestern Chicago suburb:

"'He comes here to get away, and this is what happens,' said Jodi Cullen, 47, whose son was obliged when he asked an autograph at their famous neighbor's door last year. 'I hope he doesn't move away, but I wouldn't blame him if he did.'"

Finally, the ugly truth of suburban living comes out. Time for everyone to flee back to the inner-city. Or, hey. Wait a minute. A suspicious home invasion of the black guy's home followed by neighbors suggesting the black family might feel safer somewhere else? Hmmmm.

By the way, a sample house in the Burr Ridge neighborhood:

Fantastic. The story from the Tennessean:

"Worrick Robinson, who represents Jones, said his client has been approached by Total Nonstop Action Wrestling 'to participate in their line of entertainment.' But Robinson said Jones 'won't be wrestling' and he won't be playing the part of a villain as some might expect. 'Pacman is talking with TNA at this time and we expect an announcement to be made in the next several days,' Robinson said. 'It is not anticipated that he'll be wrestling, but discussions are taking place for him to have some role in their profession. But details have not be finalized.'''

Talk about the kind of news that puts a spring in one's step to start a work week.

Hey, Total Nonstop Action Westling? A simple request. Please have him make it rain. Later, have one of his entourage pretend to shoot the place up. Laughs all around. Then have a pretend victim of the shooting be in a wheelchair from paralysis. Might as well keep the fun somewhat real.

Really? An investigation into steroids and pro wrestling? You got time for that?

It's not like we are not as a country on the precipice of a constitutional crisis or something along those lines...

Or, say, a seemingly never-ending engagement as target practice in a civil war in Iraq.

All these sports websites and no one has started a petition to at least give Dan Patrick one last show? Is ESPN really blackballing the face of the network and refusing to allow him to go back on the air at all?

Please tell me I'm wrong. Please tell me they're bringing him back for one more week. If they are allowed to just let him go quietly in the night, not only would that be poor form on their part, but it would be a prime example of why their monopoly on the sporting world could become too much, if it hasn't already done so.

It has been exactly one year since I officially filed for divorce from ESPN. I am ashamed to admit it, but I keep going back. Perhaps it is only because I haven't found a suitable substitute. At least I had one thing left to hold to from our relationship that made me feel good.

I thought of Sunday morning SportsCenter as "adult SportsCenter" with Bob Ley and Chris McKendry. Image my shock, outrage, nausea and utter disgust when Screaming A. Smith started making Sunday morning invasions. NOW I have nothing left. (Side note - for some reason when you go to the Chris McKendry page, which is scant, I get an add for Illinois lawsuit loans. How that relates to anything, Ill never know)

In the year since I filed papers you have gone from a cheating tramp to a street walking crack whore, staggering down the block, in stained bicycle shorts, hollering suck your cock for a rock. You need help, extreme help; medication, therapy and a padded room.

NOW has been utterly worst tripe ever recorded on video tape. Last week you used NOW as a vehicle to pimp Adam Sandler and Kevin James just to promote a mediocre movie. I don't care who's NOW. I don't need you to tell me. I am sure this show makes Tom Mees spin in his grave.

Who's not NOW? Dan Patrick and then by proxy Keith Olberman. For one reason or another Dan decided to leave you in mid-August, you made him go immediately. Dan Patrick had by far the finest sports radio show I have ever heard and yet you could not find a way to make the man happy. Do you think David Stern will go on air with Cowherd? I won't go on air with Cowherd.

What's not NOW anymore? TrueHoops. I am thrilled for the guy who founded the site, did all the hard work and made a fortune selling you the site, but you have slowly added drivel to the mix, thus making it less relevant.

What was never NOW ? Somehow you have turned Page 2 into a parody of the concept of Page 2. And one of the few people worth reading, Jason Whitlock, was just a little to critical for your highly refined tastes.

What's not NOW anymore? The Bill Simmons Cartoon. Certainly Bill has a voice made for cartoons, but to have Mrs. Richfield's 6th grade class draw and write the cartoon may not have been a good use of Disney money.

What's not NOW anymore? Cold Pizza. One of the dumbest names ever for a TV show, you renamed it and moved it to Bristol. Great places to eat in Bristol. Yum. But you kept Skip Bayless. Skip has never let facts get in the way of a good argument and after two years of putting up with his shit Woody Paige said fuck this, I'm going back to Colorado. Rename the show Skipless and ratings will soar. But leave his hairpiece on the set, it has a better personality.

What's not useful NOW? Your website now has more activity then a carnival midway. Designed for a kitten with ADD, I can barely sort through the ads to find the content. Your contests, like Gridiron Weekly, fell by the wayside because your monolithic corporation could not send out checks to winners in less than 6 months.

What didn't work NOW? Well if NOW is April when ESPN completely crashed their fantasy baseball site and then wiped out the entire first week of the season.

Who's new NOW? Dusty Baker. Instead of ruining arms around the National League he now gets to ruin my daily does of Baseball Tonight and I understand Karl Ravech now needs Tommy John surgery. And while I do not dislike Eric Young, I just can't understand him now matter how hard I listen. He mumbles, mispronounces and slurs simultaneously.

What was NOW stricken from the History books? The ESPN mobile phone. A failure of epic proportions, ESPN has decided to change deck chairs on this Titanic and partner with Verizon. My favorite commercial is where they talk to a father who watched a game, while viewing highlights of another game, during his child's play, while in his words "performing his fatherly duties." Maybe it's that way if your father is Art Schlichter then maybe it's believable. How Disney of them. There are GA meetings everywhere.

What is NOW? Arena Football. We have had highlights all season as this 20-year old sport suddenly became relevant because it is NOW broadcast on the ESPN family of networks.

What is NOW? NASCAR. We now have more redneck car coverage because the network is broadcasting the "sport". I just can't get enough of non-athletic, lily-white, southern accented, sons of previous drivers on my TV. They aren't even the best drivers in the world. It is a business owned by one family. They decide who races and who doesn't.

Last year when I filed for divorce I thought we were at the lowest point in our relationship. I had severely underestimated you. Your propensity for making the worst possible choices is the most amazing streak since Joe D went for 56 straight. Keep up the good work.

Another blow to the University of Florida's academic reputation.

At any rate, the evidence of Smith's illiteracy? These quotes on the Michael Vick indictment:

"Now, granted he might have been to a dogfight a time or two, maybe five times, maybe 20 times, may have bet some money, but he's not the one you're after. He's not the one you're after, he's just the one whose going to take the fall -- publicly."

Um...or, if he had read the indictment (assuming literacy), maybe realized that Vick kinda sorta actually did, ah, murder animals. In between "been to a dogfight" (maybe 20 times).

While we're here, hey, Emmitt? This is kind of the opposite of how prosecutors work:

"He's the biggest fish in the whole doggone pond right now so they're putting the squeeze on him to get to everyone else."

Ah, no. Prosecutors put the squeeze on the littler fish to get to the bigger fish. Even the very capable US Attorneys in Eastern Virginia. And it very much appears that Vick is the biggest of the fish.

Nike has told retailers it will not release a fifth signature shoe, the Air Zoom Vick V, this summer. Nike spokesman Dean Stoyer said the four shoe products and three shirts that currently bear Vick's name will remain in stores.

I understand the real story behind the shoes is that they are not very comfortable. After wearing them for about an hour, your dogs will be barking.

The ESPY's?

Or anything else that ever was?

Correct answer according to 100% of billions of votes:

Anything else that ever was

..the dirty little secret out there is that Patrick's radio show ratings are slightly behind the ratings of ESPN's other primary radio properties, Mike & Mike in the morning and "The Herd" with Colin Cowherd.

You can always expect to hear the biggest names in sports appear on Dan Patrick's show, but Patrick is not nearly as entertaining to listen to as Cowherd or even Mike & Mike. Patrick has a tough time carrying a show on his own and its only when he's paired with Keith Olberman or one of his regular guests (Rick Reilly, Reggie Miller, etc) that he truly shines.

Absolutely disgusting.

And unwatchable.

Stop. Please. Showing anything to do with this "sport".

I just noticed that the front page has a vast shortcoming. There hasn't been any recent representation of the female gender. Here is a brief respite from men's sports.

Investigators are looking into who altered pro wrestler Chris Benoit's Wikipedia entry to mention his wife's death hours before authorities discovered the bodies of the couple and their 7-year-old son.

Benoit's Wikipedia entry was altered early Monday to say that the wrestler had missed a match two days earlier because of his wife's death.

A Wikipedia official, Cary Bass, said Thursday that the entry was made by someone using an Internet protocol address registered in Stamford, Conn., where World Wrestling Entertainment is based.

So where was Vince McMahon over the weekend. This case is becoming more bizarre.

Quite honestly before this week I had absolutely no idea who Chris Benoit was. I believe that "pro-wrestling" is part dance, part soap opera, part ballet, with some choreography mixed in. I equate the entire "sport" to watching a ventriloquist's dummy and suspending my disbelief as the dummy becomes real to me.

I will not comment on the events at the Benoit residence this past weekend other than to say those events are bizarre.

The WWE was quick to dismiss the idea, issuing a news release Tuesday saying steroids "were not and could not be related to the cause of death" and that the findings indicate "deliberation, not rage." Benoit tested negative April 10, the last time he was tested for drugs, the WWE said.

I am thrilled that his last test came back "negative". I am not aware of any "pro-wrestlers" being suspended for steroid use, but I am aware that a few have died from it. How exactly do the KNOW this?

What strikes me as amazing is that the WWE knows that steroids were not involved in the murder, even though there were some anabolic steroids found in the home. Just this morning World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon on Thursday urged people not to assume that steroids played a role in the murder-suicide of pro-wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and 7-year-old son.

Perhaps it is time for Vince to have a big cup of STFU. Obviously he is concerned for his family's business and is now doing damage control. In fact this event brought Vince back from the dead as he was "assassinated" in a car bombing just two weeks earlier. To call this a sport is an insult to dart and domino players everywhere.

(Some parts of this story came from ESPN.com)

"You know all those stories that we broke with our hard work, with real reporting and real journalism?" he went on. "Yeah, ESPN decided it would be a neat trick to see it on the wire and call up their so-called 'expert' in whatever sport the news broke and then put on the little scroll at the bottom of their screen that it was 'ESPN's so-and-so expert that reported that the news story someone else actually broke was really broken by our lackey expert here.' Do you hear me, Ed Werder? Do you hear me, Rachel Nichols? Do you hear me, Chris Mortensen? Do you hear me, Marc Stein? Do you hear me, ESPN producer schmucks? You didn't break JACK SQUAT."

Sitiyok Kipkark 56.

Buck Droflehs 41.

The seals? Still happy:

Bill Simmons goes to Las Vegas. Bill assumes we care about his exploits in Las Vegas.

This would be an interesting read for those of you who* are fascinated in stuff like "it's hot in Las Vegas in the summer and I'm going to complain about that." Or "I don't like the airport and I'm going to complain about that." Or "I'm going to spend six (long) paragraphs talking about the drive from Los Angeles to Las Vegas." Anyone who has ever made that drive knows there's nothing to talk about. Let me summarize the drive in one word -- desert. That's all you had to say, Bill.

[*Ed. Note - We hope this is approximately none of you.]

She came into the race trying to buck 102 years of history. Her trainer, despite over two dozen entries, had never won a triple Crown race. She was battling a horse that folks had started to label a "freak of nature" and who came off at almost even odds. She even stumbled out of the gate.

But the Belmont is a long race, especially when the pace is as slow as it was yesterday. And the boys gave Rags to Riches plenty of time to catch up with them, and then pass the lot at the end in a phenomenal neck-and-neck stretch run where she and Curlin traded leads multiple times. Despite the rather boring first half, that will be a Belmont Stakes to remember.

If no one does, it'll be a bad day for betting at Belmont.

Official picks (guaranteed not to win):

1. Curlin
2. Slew's Tizzy
3. Rags to Riches
4. Hard Spun

Today Playboy hits the stands with a naked Amanda Beard. She's not even wearing any medals. Having posed almost naked for Maxim, FHM and various others Amanda finally decided to let us see her furry cup, for a price. Here is an interview with her on the subject.

Breast stroke indeed.

Disappointing that only seven horses will be running Saturday. My main problem with this is the possibility that the two horses I like, Slew's Tizzy and Rags to Riches will both be bet down to odds where I can't make much money on the race. I may try to talk myself into Tiago.

1 Imawildandcrazyguy 20-1
2 Tiago 10-1
3 Curlin 6-5
4 C P West 12-1
5 Slew's Tizzy 20-1
6 Hard Spun 5-2
7 Rags to Riches 3-1

The third leg of the Triple Crown is this weekend, and since the same horse didn't win the first two races, no one cares. Not even the horseracing fanatics at Visa. The thing is, this is actually setting up to be an interesting race.

Remember, the same three horses finished in the top three in both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. Two of those three, Preakness winner Curlin and Derby runner-up Hard Spun, will race Saturday.

And then there's the storyline of Rags to Riches, a Todd Pletcher entry who happens to be a girl horse (aka, a filly). A filly hasn't won the Belmont in 102 years. So why does this horse have a shot? She won her last four races, including the Kentucky Oaks. Not too shabby.

The draw is tomorrow, followed by odds Thursday morning. Eight to nine entries are expected.

Not that many people paid attention to the law anyway, but scalpers should be rejoicing tomorrow:

"New legislation expected to be signed today will let fans sell their event tickets on the Internet - and ask whatever price they want.

"The change, lobbied for by theaters and online ticket agencies, would wipe out a longstanding law that makes it illegal to charge more than 45% over the face value of tickets.

"The new law would require large-scale brokers, and those selling more than five tickets outside a venue, to have a state-issued license.

But it would lift limits on regular concertgoers and sports fans selling extra tickets on the Internet."

Of course, the real winners here will be the theatres that can now artificially jack up their own prices. This reminds me very much of how the Chicago Cubs enjoy gouging their fans. Oh well, supply and demand and all that.

With apologies to a certain Doctor in NYC, boxing has become a soap opera like mess. With more sanctioning bodies than Presidential candidates, it has become impossible to keep track who isn't a champion in some weight class approved by some alphabetical organization. I keep waiting for the WADD organization to come foward because I drift off before I can pay attention. That brings us to the latest piece of flotsam.

When Antonio Tarver faced Bernard Hopkins last June, it was obvious from the outset that it wouldn't be his night. Hopkins bullied a lethargic Tarver all over the ring, knocked him down in the fifth round and took the light heavyweight championship on a virtual shutout decision.

Now, as Tarver (24-4, 18 KOs) prepares for his return to the ring a year later to face Elvir Muriqi (34-3, 21 KOs) on June 9 in Hartford, Conn., he says he believes he was drugged before the fight with Hopkins.

I will start to begin to respect boxing when a fighter steps foward and just admits he got his ass kicked. Especially after he hasn't retired six times previously.

For the men and women who served and the families and communities who supported them.

We are designing some T-shirts and would like you to vote on what we should put on them. Please go to this Swamp thread and vote on which slogan you like best.

By the way, this is a perfect opportunity for some of you lurkers to introduce yourselves and get involved in the discussion. Turdferguson's only good for two or three hands-down hysterical per a day. So let's get some fresh voices in there.

Here are some other Swamp threads to which you may want to add two pennies:

--Joe Pa has trash issues
--Criticism of LeBron James
--Another reason Skip Bayless is a hot water bottle
--Newcastle buyout'
--Champions League finals chatter

From time to time, Dan Wetzel pens outstanding columns for Yahoo! Sports. Unfortunately, because his employer uses an exclamation point in their name, no one takes him seriously as a sports journalist. Well, they should:

"Floyd Landis wants you to believe that he is a most upstanding man, a moral product of Mennonite upbringing, where honor and honesty mean more than the money and glory of winning the Tour de France.

"He wants you to peer into his soul and understand that he'd never cheat to win cycling's grandest race, as the drug tests and the US Anti-Doping Agency claim, because such an ignoble act would go against everything his pure heart believes.

"'It's a matter of who I am,' Landis testified Saturday according to the Associated Press at his ongoing arbitration in which he is fighting a two-year ban from the sport. "It wouldn't serve any purpose for me to cheat and win the Tour, because I wouldn't be proud of it.'

"Yes, what a man of high standards this ignorant clown is. What a proud, honorable champion this cut-throat coward is.

"We all found out last week who Landis is, and now this isn't about whether he doped but just what a dope, what a pathetic excuse for a human being he is."

It only gets better from there. Let me just say that it is rare for journalists to come out and call people - especially athletes - a clown, coward or pathetic excuse for a human being. Judging from how much I enjoyed this column, it is far too rare.

The Floyd Landis doping trial took a soap-opera like turn today. Cycling legend Greg LeMond, who was summoned to testify about a conversation he had with Landis last year, dropped a serious biznomb to the court.

LeMond, a three-time winner of the Tour de France, disclosed Thursday that he'd been sexually abused as a child and that he received an intimidating phone call Wednesday night from Landis' manager that referred to the abuse.

Testifying in the fourth day of Landis' Tour de France doping hearing at the Pepperdine University law school, LeMond said the call came at 6:53 p.m. Wednesday. The caller said, "Hi, Greg, this is your uncle," adding a moment later, "I'll be there tomorrow and we can talk about how we used to hide your weenie."

LeMond's Verizon cellular phone recorded the number -- a number from the 949 area code that's listed on a business card belonging to Will Geoghegan, Landis' manager. Geoghegan, sitting behind Landis and the Landis defense team in the hearing room, was then asked to stand and identify himself in the hearing room.

Sad story. And ironically, LeMond who is desperate to save his sport, may have provided Americans with one final head-shake at its expense.

It's about time someone stepped up and put their mouth where their money is in the horseracing world. Hard Spun's trainer, Larry Jones, says his team plans on derailing any Triple Crown talk this Saturday at Pimlico Park in Baltimore. Jones said: "Believe me, we have every intention of seeing to it that there is not a Triple Crown winner in 2007 ... If there is a Triple Crown winner we're going to make them feel like they deserved it ... We're not going to just hand it to them."

Andrew Beyer says you can't write off Jones or his horse after the impressive showing in the Derby and his unorthodox preparation.

The Preakness will have the top three horses from the Kentucky Derby in Street Sense, Hard Spun and Curlin. And these guys, along with most of the infield on Saturday, could care less.

I did absolutely nothing to change a single word that fat boy urped.

"Number of Starbucks on the Pennsylvania Turnpike while going west from Harrisburg to Pittsburgh: three. Starbucks on the Turnpike going back east: three."

Of course had Starbucks knew of McButter's trip they would have constructed and extra one for his return trip. No idea if three were sufficient.

"I think there is more shoulder-length hair in football than in any other sport right now, and I include women's figure skating in that comparison."

Not sure if that is a fat sausage-like thumbs up or down.

Ever been in the Omni William Penn Hotel Starbucks in downtown Pittsburgh? Convivial. Bright. Airy. One problem: Weak, inconsistent espresso shots. Get on it, Seattle.

You hear that Starbucks. Butter has spoken, make it so. Why Starbucks doesn't build a mobile latte vehicle and just follow his fat ass around the country, is beyond me. Make it like Madden's bus.

Get your bets down and get ready for the fastest two minutes in sports. Picks:

Win: Great Hunter
Place: Street Sense
Show: Any Given Saturday

How to lose $25:

$2 Exacta Boxes 20-7, 18-7, 14-7, 12-7 ($4 bets)
$2 Trifectas 20-7-18, 7-20-18
$2 Super 7-20-18-6
$3 on 19 (Dominican) to win

Swamp talk here.

There hasn't been a horse since Apollo in 1882 that has won the Kentucky Derby having never run as a two year-old. There hasn't been a horse since 1915 that has won the Derby in his fourth career race.

Those would seem like pretty long odds, but Curlin isn't a longshot. Instead he's the early favorite to win the Kentucky Derby tomorrow.

Why?

Well, it's partially due to a field with no true standout. But the fact that he has blown the doors off the competition in his first three races does't hurt either. Three starts. Three wins. By a combined total of 28 1/2 lengths. Including a 10 1/2 length Arkansas Derby trouncing.

No, this is not a joke.

According to ESPN Radio: To honor Barbaro's legacy, the Kentucky Derby winner will receive a one million dollar bonus if it bests Barbaro's 6 1/2 length margin of victory in last year's Derby.

This is pure marketing genius. Not only are the horses racing against each other, they're racing against America's favorite fallen equine.

Here is another reason for me to hate the Dolphin's 1st round draft choice. They picked the only guy in the 1st that's hurt.

Ginn will miss mini-camp May 4-6, but the Dolphins said they expect Ginn to be healthy for the start of training camp.

"We feel good about Ted's foot," general manager Randy Mueller said.

Ginn was hurt in the BCS national championship game Jan. 8 after returning the opening kickoff 93 yards for a touchdown against Florida. The injury happened during an end zone celebration.

Some of my other favorite or odd injuries:

• Five-time batting champion Wade Boggs missed a week when he lost his balance putting on his cowboy boots and fell into a couch

• Kyle Farnsworth broke his foot in the bullpen while warming up for the Cubs.

• John Smoltz scalded his chest while ironing a shirt -- that he was wearing.

• Glenallen Hill, an outfielder and arachnophobe, had a nightmare about spiders while sleeping on the couch. In his attempt to get away from the "big bad spider", he crash-landed onto a glass table, leaving his body littered with shards of glass.

• Adam Eaton, Texas Rangers pitcher, was trying to remove that annoying security tape on a DVD with a paring knife and wound up stabbing himself in the stomach.

• Chris Hanson took a swing with an axe at a chunk of wood. He missed and drove the axe deep into this left leg. He was rushed to the ER and placed on injured reserve for the rest of the season. The axe was in the clubhouse because the coach brought it in.

• Lionel Simmons had an illustrious college basketball career, finishing third in all-time NCAA scoring. During the 1990-91 season: Not long after being named NBA Player of the Week, "L-Train" missed two games with wrist tendonitis which was spurred on by excessive play of his Nintendo Game Boy.

• After scoring a TD for the Washington Redskins, Gus Frerotte went to headbutt the padded wall just outside the end zone. Unfortunately, the stadium wall consisted of a thin layer of foam and a very thick layer of concrete, which put Frerotte into a woozy state. He was then quickly ambulanced to the hospital to get treatment for his head injury.

• After Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson netted a game-winning basket, teammate Charles Barkley greeted him with a big bear hug. Barkley squeezed him like a tube of toothpaste and clasped so hard that Johnson's shoulder popped and dislocated.

• Carlos Zambrano emailing his brother.

It's almost May, which means it's time to think about horseracing again for avid bettors. The Kentucky Derby is less than two weeks away. One of the long-held thoughts about the Derby is that horses need three races to prep for the big day. Richard Rosenblatt of the AP reports that several of the favorites are bucking that trend this year and running off of two races.

A list of the horses with the top 20 graded earnings, from which most of the field on May 5th will be chosen, is available courtesy of The Mothership. Of significance, Todd Pletcher has five horses in the top 19. That's right, five. D. Wayne Lucas, Bob Baffert and Nick Zito have a grand combined total of zero. That's right, zero.

Andrew Beyer talks about two of the favorites, Street Sense and Great Hunter, who matched up in the Blue Grass Stakes. But Beyer focuses more on the new articifical racing surface at Keeneland, called Polytrack. Beyer loathes it with a passion, and believes it results in an ugly style of racing.

As if the Derby won't be enough of a circus on its own, Queen Elizabeth has decided to attend: "Queen Elizabeth II's official, six-day state visit to America (May 3-8) will be to help mark the 400th anniversary of the settlement at Jamestown, Va. In addition to a visit to Washington, she will be joined by Prince Philip on a personal trip to Louisville for the Run for the Roses, adding a strong dose of popular American culture for Her Majesty, an avid horse racing fan."

Oh, and lest you think the memory of Barbaro will be soon forgotten, there will be a tribute for the legend at Churchill Downs. You're damn right there will be.

A non-Barbaro Derby thread in The Swamp is up an running.

Ridiculous. On every level. According to the Swamp's Cleveland residents, the most bizarre thing? He's building that 35,000 square foot monstrosity pretty much right in the middle of an existing neighborhood. That probably breaks every rule in the ridiculous out-sized mansion owners handbook. Follow the link for pics of the construction. It m i g h t be large enough to contain his ego. Maybe.

Swamp stalwart zibby with the heads up and thread here.

Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million into a concrete barrier while practicing at a racetrack Monday, destroying the car but escaping uninjured.

The Enzo, valued at around $1.5 million, was owned by the executive producer of "Redline," Daniel Sadek, whose exotic car collection is featured in the movie.

"Undercover Brother's good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can't drive," Griffin, referring to one his past films, said after the accident.

Practice. We talking about practice.

An Irish cricket official was found dead in his hotel room yesterday.

And it is now suspected that Pakistani coach Bob Woolmer was strangled to death in his hotel room.

"The Jamaica Gleaner said a 'high-ranking police officer' had confirmed that fresh evidence has surfaced which suggested that Woolmer was strangled in his room at the Jamaica Pegasus hotel between Saturday night and Sunday morning.

"According to the police officer, Woolmer was found half naked in his room, partially wrapped in a towel, the newspaper said.

"'A bone in the neck, near the glands, was broken, and this suggests that somebody might have put some pressure on it,' the officer told the newspaper.

"'We are now treating this as a homicide.'

"The Jamaica Observer also quoted unnamed sources close to the investigation as saying that bones in the lower part of Woolmer's face were broken, suggesting he had been strangled."

There is a drama unfolding in Jamaica that reads like a movie script, and it revolves around - of all things - cricket. As reported here a few days ago, the Irish beat Pakistan in an incredibly unlikely upset in the World Cup of cricket. This all but eliminated the heavy favorite Pakistani team from competition, at the group stages no less.

Then the next day, the Pakistani head coach, Bob Woolmer, was found dead in his hotel room. The early murmurs were that he had a heart condition and had suffered from a heart attack.

But today Jamaican police announced that they are ruling this a suspicious death, and are investigating it essentially as a potential murder. Which leads, of course, to rampant speculation. Was it gambling-related? One of his players? A Pakistani cricket official?

I'll be heading over to Dunkin Donuts to check in with my local cricket guy to get his take.

UPDATE: In a shocker, indiatimes.com is speculating that it his death has its roots in match-fixing.

Insert your staying sober joke here. But the Irish cricket team beat Pakistan in the World Cup of cricket, which in March Madness terms, is the equivalent of Jackson State beating Florida:

"Ireland produced one of the biggest upsets in cricket World Cup history, beating Pakistan by three wickets in a rain-interrupted Group D match Saturday and consigning the 1992 champions to a first-round exit."

So there are a bunch of Irish guys in Jamaica, and they just pulled off one of the biggest upsets ever in their sport on St. Patrick's Day. If I'm their next opponent, the Red Stripe is on me, bhoys.

...is impregnating beautiful women.

First, of course, Bridget Moynahan (his ex-girlfriend, leaving her the going away present that keeps on giving).

Moynahan:

Now, according to boston.com, picking up on chatter from a Brazlian website, perhaps current girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen.

Bundchen:

I guess it beats collecting baseball cards as far as hobbys go. Although it is a damn site more expensive, assuming that Brady supports the offspring as he should. I also am left to wonder if he will start to take the kind of scorn reserved for other athletes with active sperm and no apparent regard for condoms.

Swamp chatter here thanks to swamp stalwart zibby.

The scientist tasked with figuring out a reliable test for the presence of HGH in your average, say, major league baseball player (or NFL player) now says he is pretty sure a reliable urine test that catches your average HGH cheater (Gary Mathews Jr., Jerry Hairston Jr., John Rocker, Jose Canseco, David Bell, and, I am sure, others) is not going to be possible.

What would be effective for catching the HGH cheats? A blood test. Something the MLB player's association has previously been vehemently opposed to. It appears, with respect to the players' lip service to cleaning up the game (and ownership's lip service re: same), we are about to come to a rubber meets road moment.

Obviously, he had never heard of The Whizzinator.

My favorite part about this story is that the jockey refers to him and his wife as "church people" in defense of his marijuana puffing, and doesn't address whether church people put dildos full of other people's urine down their pants. More:

"Acting chief steward John Hackett became suspicious of Warrington's actions while the jockey attempted to provide a urine sample.

"Hackett caught the jockey squeezing urine from a dildo concealed inside his pants.

"Warrington confessed today that he panicked when asked to provide a urine sample, as he had smoked marijuana at a weekend party ... 'I managed to get hold of a device that would hold urine, and got some urine from someone I knew wouldn't be positive,' he said."

You've also got to love the chief steward's reaction. Hmmm. He's got a dildo in his pants that he's squeezing urine out of. That looks suspicious. I'm no horse racing steward, but I'd imagine that whenever someone is using a dildo in a drug test, we are well past "suspicious."

Propers to rassele for the heads-up.

Seriously.

No, seriously.

I think.

Maybe this has been around awhile, and I am just now seeing it. If so, my apologies. But assuming it's new and for real, well, it seems like it should be a joke. Then again, given how fiscally irresponsible people can be with credit, perhaps a card with Pete Rose on it makes some sense. He's got to be one of the patron saints of irresponsible monetary behavior. At the least, whichever die hard Cincinnati Reds fan loser who won't let go of the past actually orders one of these should have the decency to take it to Vegas, get some cash out, and place some baseball bets (not on the Reds). But not too many, as a credit line of up to $1000 whole dollars doesn't leave a lot of room for having a betting day like, say, Chumley is having today.

Big Lead and Deadspin were all over this yesterday, but in case you don't read those sites, the needed background for the chatter was this post on craigslist:

"Major League Fun

Well, the title says it all; free tomorrow, as in wednesday, and looking for a woman who wants to have fun. I am discreet if you are discreet. 5'9" 180 short hair and blue eyes. Full of energy i need to let loose.....if you give a great massage, even better. Hit me up."

Well. It doesn't take too much sleuthing in general, and even less sleuthing if you are a Reds fan, to figure out that looks like it has to be Ryan Freel. Of the imaginary friend Farney Ryan Freels.

Which is all a lot of fun. But then again, I think some additional bits of information may be of use. First, Freel is married with a kid, happily by all accounts. Freel, with wife Christie:

Second, Adam Dunn (and to a just slightly lesser extent Ken Griffey Jr.), is one of the biggest pranksters going. And that craigslist entry sure looks to me like Dunn (or possibly Jr.) has pulled off another prank. And if so, a pretty damn funny one.

That's my guess anyway.

Then again, Freel may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, and didn't calculate that this would get out. If so, then he will have some explaining to do.

Want more Ryan Freel info? I commend this obsessive Reds fan site to you.

Our own Dr. Howard delivers top-notch analysis on Tommy Morrison's HIV-free self-diagnosis over at ringsidereport.com. The good doctor breaks it down for those us who get squeamish around the site of blood. Here's the summary of HIV blood tests and where some of the confusion may lie:

"One method, the standard used by the major state boxing commissions, tests for the presence of antibodies that the body produces in an attempt to fight off HIV infection. Once you test positive, you will always test positive.

"The second method, measures for the presence of the actual virus. This can revert to zero, or negative, with proper anti-HIV drug treatment. And it can recur once treatment is halted. Whether or not someone who tests zero by the second method can infect another person by mixing blood or fluids is currently a medical unknown. It might be perfectly safe to exchange body fluids; it might not. But anyone who tells you they know for sure is not telling you the medical truth.

"No one has as yet shared details of the medical evidence submitted by Morrison and his team, blood tests conducted in Arizona under the auspices of officials there. Of course Morrison has a confidentiality right. But were I John Carter (Morrison's scheduled opponent), or any other heavyweight about to step into the ring opposite 'Tommy Gunn,' I would have a lot more questions."

Definitely worth the read. Propers to the doc for explaining this in a way I have not seen anywhere else.

After tonight's halftime dance Chief Illiniwek, the University of Illinois mascot, will be put to rest. Since I reside just a few hours from the campus I have heard about this ad nauseum the past few weeks.

Here is a tasty excerpt from, the local butcher of grammar and spelling, The Quad City Times:

"Thousands of Illini graduates, students and fans will tell you the end of the Chief's 81-year reign, which comes tonight at halftime of a home basketball game against Michigan, is the product of NCAA meddling and political correctness run amuck. They see nothing "right" about that."

One of the local Quad City TV stations will be sending, what they call their mobile newsroom, to cover the "event". It humors me greatly how my local media (bottom of their class graduates, mostly) is running over each other to cover this story.

Certainly this country was founded on a policy of genocide. Personally I will start celebrating Thanksgiving when the Indians do. Or as I call it "a holiday to commemorate the genocide of the indigenous people of this continent; let's eat"

But the time has come to stop schools and professional sports teams from using racial mascots and names. Yes, I believe the Washington Football team should change their name. Florida State on the other hand has the blessing/money of the Seminole tribe.

Why not call the Yankees the Hymies? Jessie Jackson would probably be into that.

Most of us know very little of Indian culture. So why expose our children to dancing chiefs or tomahawk chops. We should make certain that sports, which is one of the few equal playing fields, denigrates no culture or race.

This whole situation brings to mind something I just read recently about the late Hank Bauer. Hank was one tough son of a bitch and a Marine too. During one game someone in the stands was yelling racial epitaphs at teammate Elston Howard. Bauer went into the stands to find the coward. That's what sports should be about.

Jesse Owens went to Berlin and represented his race gloriously in the arena, rubbing the whole idea of a master race is Hitler's face, that's what sports should be about.

So go ahead and have your last dance Chief Illiniwek. It really should have happened 40-50 years ago.

Tommy Morrison will fight for the first time in eleven years now that he has passed all medical exams and apparently is no longer HIV positive.

Of course, the absence of HIV in his system is not news to Morrison, who believes that his ban has been an elaborate conspiracy to keep him out of boxing for over a decade. Explains Morrison:

"It's been a long time coming. I know I didn't have [HIV] in the first place. I never had it. I believe it, but they kicked me out of the sport. ... Over the last two or three months, I have taken five, six different [HIV] tests and continued to pass them. It was just a matter of time before they had to let me fight again."

Yes, because throughout history the powers that be in boxing have done everything in their power to keep white heavyweights out of the ring. James J. Jeffries knows Morrison's pain.

This merger has been discussed for quite some time. The FCC may have a tough time with approving this. But what it means to us is simple. No more having to choose for sports coverage. All Hail the merger.

Full Disclosure: I own some stock in both companies. I anticipate an arousing time tomorrow morning.

And I count myself in that category. You'll be happy to know he's back on XM radio starting March 5th. And yes I know that I just made myself a shill for XM radio. Bastards aren't even paying me. They could at least throw in a free month of service or something.

NASCAR's new "HotPass" package begins with a free preview on Sunday. Five drivers -- Kevin Harvick, Jimmie Johnson, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Tony Stewart and Michael Waltrip -- will have a channel televising how they handle the race. Each channel will have five cameras dedicated to them, two announcers and at least three camera shots on a split screen showing the race from the car, the pit and other angles

Here's the thing about nasty divorces, alleged details about your life that you would rather not get public, get distressingly so. Enter the counter-suit from Joumana Kidd to Jason Kidd's complaint for divorce (and allegations that Joumana beats their children---prompting, certainly, her scorched earth response). Among the high(low)lights?

---allegations of sex with strippers in Arizona, Sacramento, Miami, Dallas and Indiana
---sex with a Nets employee
---sex with a Nets season ticket holder
---sex with a cheerleader in New Orleans
---and sex with a couple of women named "Petra" and "Lisa" (apparently their occupation/location in life is unknown)

There are also allegations of abuse, including:

---punched
---kicked (hard enough once to cause blood in urine)
---choked
---struck with objects such as a candlestick (and a cookie...how much of an asshole do you have to be to throw a cookie at someone?)

Kidd's divorce lawyer predictably calls the allegations "retaliatory and gratuitously nasty". Well, yes. And pretty much par for the course for nasty divorce litigation. When husbands and wives go to war, no detail of the others' lives or how they treated each other is hidden from view.

Sad for the couple.

But when the couple is famous and chooses to go to war like this? Hard not to grab some popcorn, pull up a chair, and watch.

Michael Waltrip cheated. And so did his team. He has since apologized, while members of his team have been fined $100,000 and suspended indefinitely. This is the result of a crackdown in rules enforcement that also netted four other teams being punished.

So what do you use to cheat in NASCAR? Sterno, baby. It's the moonshine of fuel supplements:

"Waltrip's crew chief, David Hyder, and team general manager, Bobby Kennedy, were suspended indefinitely. Hyder also was hit with a record $100,000 fine. And Waltrip was penalized 100 points, which, by April, could cost him an assured spot in Nextel Cup fields.

"The violation was in the fuel system of Waltrip's car. A foreign substance in the form of a gel - rumored to be anything from Sterno to jet fuel enhancers - was placed in the intake manifold to richen the fuel mix.

"The aftershocks stirred a tsunami of bad publicity that tarnished NASCAR's image and reached all the way to Japan."

In case you are not a NASCAR aficionado, this is a really big deal. Apparently, many people thought Waltrip got off light. There was talk of banning him from the Daytona 500, and a poll of drivers revealed that the majority of his peers thought that he should be banned. Toyota, already unpopular on the NASCAR circuit for being a foreign car company, considered pulling its support from Waltrip's team.

But none of that happened. And instead Waltrip, who considered not racing at all, drove himself into qualifying for the big race.

On the rare occasions Mike Lupica steps away from the public uber-blow hard personality he has created for himself, he can still churn out a column well worth a read. Today's effort in the Daily News on BALCO reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams and what happened to them in the aftermath of their stories is solid, if only for the collection of quotes from various politicos on a free press, whistleblowers, and the current state of the Union. Writes Lupica of the the two Chronicle reporters, now hopefully in the clear with their source now known (although not through them):

"The reporters did their job, did it as honorably and as well as it can be done, as honorably and well as Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein did. The people who jerk a knee and say, They broke the law, that's it, lock them up, must be completely confused about why distinguished United States Senators such as Dodd and Lugar and Specter have worked mightily to protect people exactly like Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams.

...

The feds have the source they want now, even if they didn't get the name from Fainaru-Wada and Williams, who hung tough all the way. The feds should leave the reporters alone, reporters who should have been cheered all along, by people in and out of this business, not chased along with Bonds and the rest of them."

Just exactly where do you go to get that job?

From SI and its very fine series of pics of Miller, this body painting shot is, um, nice on a cold February day:

Every so often, when he is not playing celebrity, or ignoring how his favorite subjects have been taken away from him, we get down to the Simmons that is enjoyable. Like this effort ahead of the NBA's inaugural All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas. A sample:

" Every ovulating groupie within a 12-hour vicinity will be making the weekend drive to Vegas to hopefully get impregnated by an NBA player -- a list that includes every hooker, stripper and jock-sniffing female between 16 and 40 from Vegas, Reno, Sacramento, San Diego, San Francisco, Oakland, Phoenix and every city and town in the Los Angeles area. To its credit, the NBA is recommending that all players wear two condoms at once, even during the day and when they're sleeping."

I am guessing that camera phones are going to get extensive use in the next week, and that plenty of random pics are about to flood the internet.

With the response from John Amaechi's coming out media tour ranging from a barely stifled yawn to a "Who the hell was he?" from most sports fans, it seems the bigger question is when will an active pro athlete become the first to admit to the public, if not his teammates, that he is gay?

It's hard to believe sixty years after Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball there has still never been an openly gay pro athlete in one of the three major professional sports.

I don't think comparing the first to come out as the "gay Jackie Robinson" to be overstating things too much. The kind of pressure and scrutiny that the person would face would be tremendous. It's likely he would be shunned by some of his own teammates, opposing fans (and even his own team's fans) would heckle him. There will be death threats.

It's easy to state that the world is more gay-friendly and while that's true in a lot of respects, it's probably not in the professional locker rooms of North America. Statistics would indicate that there are probably about 30 to 40 gay athletes in the NFL, 20 to 25 in MLB and 15 in the NBA. We're not talking about a handful of athletes, we're talking about a lot.

Are the sports fans of America ready to handle it if their quarterback or cornerback is gay? I'm not as schooled in the ways of prognostication as some, but it seems to me we're probably pretty close to finding out. The reaction when it happens is going to engrossing from a sociological point of view.

Will the reaction depend on which sport the athlete plays? I don't know why, but I seem to imagine baseball being more potentially accepting that football and basketball. How salaciously will the mainstream sports media cover the story? I could imagine things getting ugly if ESPN decides the public has a right to hear from the athlete's boyfriend, for example.

A lot of questions and no real obvious answers.

No question the undisputed leader and most well known of sports blogs has had a huge week in Miami. The most interesting part of Leitch's breakthrough? Turning the gonzo media spotlight on the media themselves. I am pretty positive that there will be (if there have not already been) meetings in Bristol about the fact that pictures and private information (much speculative, but, hey, speculation is fun) were sent to the world with Deadspin's trademark lack of discretion about Sean Salisbury, Dan Patrick, Stuart Scott and others. No question that those discussions will be given some priority, given that the same rumors about those personalites were tossed in ESPN's face with its ill-advised addition of comments to some of Bill Simmons' stuff. The comments still attached to that piece are rather bland. The better stuff ESPN scrambled to censor after a bunch of Deadspin devotees flooded the comments with far funnier and edgier stuff. Edgier in the sense that much of Deadspin's undercover work and rumor-mongering about some of ESPN's personalities was tossed back in ESPN's face in those comments.

So, anyone with half an inkling about blogs and the media took note of this. Which is great for Leitch, of course. I wonder though, as Deadspin continues to get more and more successful, if his outsider's view and approach to the site will be able to be maintained. I wonder how his associating with sportsline.com to live blog (glog in sportsline parlance) the Super Bowl will be viewed by ESPN in light of what he unleashed on them this week. I wonder if he has good free legal representation to deal with angry ESPN lawyers. Not saying there would be any basis for lawsuits, just that big corporate companies can afford to make life miserable for people if they choose to.

But, at the end of it, I marvel at the irony of ESPN being fed into the same cynical media machine it has helped to create. Fantastic stuff.

• Athletics Nation gets a chance to interview Billy Beane each year. Lucky bastards. The questions are of course, more meaningful and insightful than you will find in your local fish wrap, so by all means it is worth the read if you are a fan of baseball.

• Over at Aaron Gleeman there is a review of the Twins top 40 prospects and he is also working on the forty greatest Twins of all time. Number twenty-two ? Zolio Versalles.

• Did you miss the Tony Gwynn HOF news conference? (Wide screen monitor required) Did you want to see the Cards at the White House? Clipblast.com is home to 6361 baseball video clips. This should be enough to keep you busy until spring training.

• Over at The Hardball Times there are some interesting articles. The HBP Explosion (That Almost Nobody Seems to Have Noticed), Best young Catchers of 2007.

Our long national nightmare is over -- Barbaro is no more. Housewives all over America are shedding a tear at the demise of the bravest horse to ever live. Somewhere in heaven, Jesus is riding Barbaro and they're eating carrots together and laughing at Saddam Hussein in hell.

EDIT: The Deadspin message board is on FIRE! (If you're in to that kind of humor.)

Still alive, but not doing so good.

When the doctor who has spent the last seven months trying to keep Barbaro out of the glue factory keeps making references to throwing in the towel, you know it's not time to be buying options on Barbaro making it to Valentine's Day.

If there's a bright side, maybe all these weirdos from all over the country who send Barbaro carrots and apples can get on with their lives.

Something light, for your Friday morning, courtesy of Mighty MJD (as always, setting a standard that is damn near impossible to match in this genre). For those of you who have not had the pleasure, do know as background that MJD on occasion fashions letters or statements from athlete's pets (the missive from Joey Porter's rottweiler after it killed the pony was an all-timer). Stop acting puzzled. Read it and go with it. Trust me on this. A sample:

"But, just about every other night, I'll walk around and try to watch Tom charm the panties off of some girl. Most of the time, it doesn't take long. He's like, "Hi, I'm Tom Brady," and she's like, "Oh? Well, let me show you a few things about my labia." It's tough, you know ... back at the shelter, I was sending the red rocket into orbit daily and nightly. Over here, I've got to settle for watching supermodels get pounded.

It's not fair, though, to make me just watch ... you think I wouldn't like to get on Gisele Bundchen for a little bit? You think I didn't want to dirty-up Bridget Moynahan? You think I didn't want to mount Tara Reid? Okay, I actually did mount Tara Reid once, but she was shitfaced, and she didn't even notice. That's probably because I couldn't touch the sides."

Good times.

From time to time I like to check sources that we rarely tap for tidbits that might have gone under the ol' radar. I searched over to the Charlotte Observer's site and it seems as if their content has gotten away from them a little bit.

I'll start with Tom Sorenson who after 25 years at the Observer has been allowed to write a blog. The second entry down on today's page features Mr. Sorenson's recent foray into organized religion. "What does this have to do with sports?" you ask? Well Sorenson lost a bet with himself on his playoff game predictions. That's the only reason he went to church and, I guess, felt the need to write about it:

"Before I do anything, I want to say thanks. Losing a bet is a bizarre reason to go to church. Readers could have criticized me for it, but only a few did. The rest of you were wonderful. Church is personal, and so many of you wanted to share yours with me. I was at the Dowd YMCA Saturday morning (and I know how pretentious writing about going to the gym sounds) and at least five of you came up to recommend your church, four of you graciously (wonder what the other guy said to him? -ed.). A man at the Davidson-Appalachian State basketball game also did."

More after the jump.

Continue reading "In Need of an Overhaul at the Charlotte Observer" »

One hour and counting until Day 6. The last we saw of Jack he was on a slow boat to China, but he is back tonight and I for one, miss him.

Here is a link to a site that keeps track of Jack's kills by season.

Our discussion in the Swamp.

And some words about this season of 24, form Stephen King:

"I would argue that 24 is a genuine New Thing Under the Sun, not really a serial at all, but the world's first überseries. Each season is, in effect, a 24-week ''episode'' in the adventures of Jack Bauer...and while we're on the subject of Jack, let's not forget Kiefer Sutherland, who is now probably the best male actor on TV."

Have fun watching the überseries.

By now you've heard about Gino Bona and his winning ad for the Super Bowl. Gino was kind enough to answer a few questions for The Frog in advance of his appearance this morning on ESPN's Cold Pizza. The bold type after Bona's answers are my follow up comments.

Sports Frog: What made you decide to "make a pitch?"
Gino Bona: I'm in the advertising biz, I used to write a sports column, and I'm a fan of the NFL.
(OK, dumb question, my bad.)

Keep reading the interview after the jump!

Continue reading "The Media Blitzkrieg" »

I am not sure how I feel about this, though I did nominate the frog for best sports blog. Of course we think so, otherwise what would we be doing here? This isn't like the Gino thing, which you should be voting for everyday, multiple times ( #5 ), this is purely if you want to. We won't beg, bribe or cajole. (The prizes aren't big enough)

The 7th Annual Weblog Awards.

Congrats and a Happy Festivus to Airing of Grievances, celebrating its third Festivus with the world.

Drop by today, breath deeply as things left unsaid are said, and realize that the world is a better place because of it. Or, at least, that the respective authors (including guests such as Will Leitch from Deadspin!, and a Jeopardy champion!) are feeling better because of it.

Airing of Grievances. Still one of the best stops on the 'nets, for what has been half a lifetime in this new media.

I couldn't remember the last time we had posted a picture of an attractive woman on the front page. So since we have been negligent in our efforts I offer you twins. If they could play O-Line maybe the Texans could be good. Take a minute to enjoy and then get back to work.

You've been there. You see a buddy walk up to a girl in a club to strike up a conversation with the hotter than damnit brunette, only for two of her friends to close ranks and block his way to his target. The comic strip above, Girls & Sports, might refer to this as the "Cover 2" defense.

The strip takes sport's euphemisms and moves them into the single life/dating culture. It also re-introduces us to the characters you're likely to meet as you make your way as a single. We've all seen "the face is OK but she has a good body" girl or made fun of the orange hue of "fake tan" girl. Now the strip has moved from newsprint to glossy pages in the form of the book, Opening Lines, Pinky Probes and L-Bombs.

As the title suggests, the book takes you from opening lines to the "L-bomb," which doesn't mean she's switching teams. The singles scene is covered, and it seems that the creators Justin Borus and Andrew Feinstein have spent more than their share of time in dark bars "researching." Here's hoping that their personal experiences have been more fruitful than those of their cartoon leads Marshall and Bradley. From the singles scene you move to first dates to breakups or if you can make it past those stages, to "Getting out of the Game." (Hint: that involves buying the championship ring, not having one given to you.)

The book expands on all the subjects, but the strength is in the comics themselves. Reading and getting to punch lines such as "I'm the Cal Ripken, Jr. of watching TV every Saturday" and "I asked Louise out but she can't go...It's her Bye-Week," is where Girls & Sports creators let loose. There are some nice additions that flesh out the story, however. For example, you will see that "Tears are a woman's most effective biological weapon." and what goes on inside a woman's head on the off chance she actually calls you.

The first effort by Borus and Feinstein is a fun, quick read (142pp). It's a solid effort that is out of scope for typical comic strip compilation books, which is a good thing. The authors give their characters a bit more depth by having them explain things outside the panels, then the comics illustrate their points. Even with all the extras, the comics are still the main course and are sure to draw a few laughs.

If you read it and don't thing to yourself "Yeah, I remember that" or "Oh man, I did that, too!" then you spent your dating years playing "Doom."

If you're gonna be a shill, why not go all the way? Opened the e-mail in-box and had a message from Gino Bona, Swamper and formerly of ESPN and www.winkandthegun.com. Seems that Gino (Henceforth GENO) is one of twelve finalists with an idea for an NFL ad to air during the Super Bowl.

Go here and check out his clip, #5 - Geno.

He's sitting at 9%, which is 5th place right now. The Swamp can influence this thing. Get the vote out!

I will be the first to admit that our survey data comes from a small group and could prove to be unreliable. If you are the type of person that will try this at home, chances are someone else is reading this to you. From the Philly Inquirer....

"With just eight days left before Christmas, here is the feel-good sports story of the holiday season.

It concerns an 82-year-old horse owner and trainer named Don Karkos who works at Monticello Raceway in upstate New York.

Karkos grew up in Maine and enlisted in the Navy with his brother, Eddie, the day after the attack on Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941. The following summer, Karkos survived an explosion aboard his ship while serving in the North Atlantic, but the blast left him blind in his right eye.

Being blind in one eye didn't cause too many problems once Karkos got accustomed to having limited peripheral vision.

"I used to turn to my right and bump into people and get embarrassed," Karkos said. "But it hasn't been too much trouble. My only concern in the back of my mind was that if something happened to my good eye I would be in trouble."

Recently, Karkos was fiercely head-butted by a 4-year-old pacer named My Buddy Chimo while he was getting the horse ready to be jogged by trainer John Gilmour.

The force of the blow sent Karkos backward into the stall wall and left him woozy. He told people he had never been struck with such force - except for that explosion while in the Navy.

Later that day, while rubbing his left eye, Karkos realized he had regained some of his vision in his right eye.

"I almost flipped," he told the Harness Racing Communications news letter. "I was shocked; I'll be honest about it. The next day I showed Gilmour. He didn't believe me, so I covered my left eye and walked around the barn. Then, he was convinced."

...and while I am stuck back at work for what is seemingly the billionth day in a row, a quick moment to highlight the chatter in my favorite blogs other than this one. For long time readers of the Frog, you know I have pimped these sites before, but, since I have access to this space, I get to do so again. These are, in general, places that will inform, entertain, and prompt the occasional fresh thought. For my money, that makes them must stops on your 'net journeys.The roll call:

---Airing of Grievances, where Jackie Chiles, based on this post certainly would take sharp exception to my characterization of Allen Iverson as a team-killer, makes the argument that the Knicks might as well join the derby looking to land the occasional superstar. A sizable thread debating my use of the term "team-killer" has unwound in the Swamp the last few days here.

---At Dave Sez, he steps away briefly from his rock solid ACC coverage to highlight the latest shenanigans involving Bob Huggins. I am guessing, though, that that kind of behavior is what Kansas State wanted when they signed on to the Bob Huggins experience.

---Braves & Birds Blog remains a great stop for posts that are as informed and well reasoned as anything you will find on the 'net. As the furor surrounding the Florida/Michigan debate over which should go to Glendale dies down, I commend this as a decent set of last words on the subject.

---You know we are pretty unabashed fans of Mighty MJD around here, and it is for fresh and funny takes like his series of previews for some of the fuckawful bowl games being inflicted on the non-betting public this year. This piece on the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl is a great introduction to the site, if you have never been.

---Deadspin is the undisputed king of this genre at this point, and have gotten there for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is their ability to in a moment make you recall recent events about a player of coach that you might have forgotten in damn funny snarky headline or take. Like, say, this one entitled Athletic Black Players Finally Run DeBarry Out of Football.

---At nbx.com (try out their fantasy betting service if you have ever wondered if you could make a go of sports betting instead of working---hint: probably not) their thoughts on where Iverson will eventually end up are worth a look. Their best guess is somewhere in the west.

---Finally, in an off-season where there has already been a sizable amount of baseball chatter, spurred by the insane contract explosion and the Matsuzaka arrival, if you like baseball at all, you should have already found Baseball Musings. If you have not, do yourself a favor and head there.

I am guessing she finally took one last glance at that series of GQ pictures a few years back and finally realized that she was fighting a losing battle...

Bridget Moynahan, needing some comfort this morning.

Troy Smith's Heisman Trophy was shipped home because airport security would not allow the Ohio State quarterback to take it on the plane Tuesday.

We didn't really cover this when it broke a couple of weeks ago. However, we often blame the mainstream media for jumping all over a negative story, and then ignoring it when an athlete is cleared of a crime, or at least might be proven innocent after all. So in the interest of avoiding hypocrisy, we thought we'd bring you the latest news on Floyd Landis. Which is beginning to read more like The Da Vinci Code than a news story about cycling.

What happened? Courtesy of the AP:

"Hackers stole data from computers at the French anti-doping lab whose test procedures are being challenged by American cyclist Floyd Landis, police said Tuesday.

"The Chatenay-Malabry laboratory, which is accredited by the International Olympic Committee and the World Anti-Doping Agency, analyzed the samples which indicated that Landis had elevated levels of testosterone in his system when he won the Tour de France in July."

So, Landis and his people are saying that this obviously calls into account the data that allegedly proved that Landis cheated. And World Anti-Doping Agency chief (and the world's most appropriately named man) Dick Pound, says it in no way questions the lab's comeptence.

And the French? Well, what would you expect? They're accusing Landis of doing the hacking.

This isn't about big head Bonds or offensive linemen. Its about Chess. Yes Chess.

Chess's world governing body will introduce dope testing at the Asian Games this week, although the sport's top official in Doha said he had no idea how drugs could enhance chess performance.
"I would not know which drug could possibly help a chess player to improve his game," competition manager Yousuf Ahmad Ali said.

So what's next ? Chemical analysis of your shuttlecock ?

Some months ago USA Today's Sports Weekly began to include a few pages of Nascar coverage. To me, this was an incredible waste of dead trees and ink. In fact, for the unfamiliar, Sports Weekly only covers baseball and football. And it bothered me. It bothered me that I was spending $1.75 a week (too stupid to take the time for a subscription) and they were spending some of this on Nascar coverage. Apparently I was not alone. From the Editors of Sports Weekly:

"TO OUR READERS: With this issue, USA Today Sports Weekly returns to our core sports of baseball and football that you, our readers, have made clear are our top sports priorities."

Don't even get me started on the contrived "playoff/chase" silliness.

Good stuff from the SF Chronicle's Fool yesterday, including:

"* We learned that any time an announcer mentions Steve McNair, they then must insert the word "classy" or say "he's a real character guy" or mention how much close he is with Ray Lewis and how his presence has turned the Ravens into a Super Bowl contender. I bet two turtle doves, two fingers in a pear tree and five moldy rings that the Ravens don't get anywhere near the Super Bowl. McNair will be hurt long before the Ravens get to the playoffs."

I give that snark four chuckles.

"We learned that Michael Vick can count to two. Now that he's realized what an idiotic thing he did, Vick said 'the people who know me know that's not me and that's not my character.' Cleveland's Braylon Edwards went nuts on the sidelines during an ugly loss to the Bengals. When he realized what an idiotic thing he did and how publicly he had done it, he said 'It's not like I fought anybody. It's not like I gave the bird to somebody in the stands or anything like that.' Interesting."

Really solid stuff from Fool.

On the Vick thing...out of curiosity, is there anyone you know other than maybe a four-year-old (m a y b e) who has not seen someone flip the bird, done same, or received same? Even if only jokingly? Just how obscene a gesture is it at this point? I ask, because every time ESPN re-runs the pic of Vick proudly flying a pair of birds, they blur it out like he is instead waiving his STD-ridden wang at the crowd. Gotta tell you, there are things FAR more offensive on TV than the middle finger getting extended at a crowd of people.

Like Nancy Grace. And Dr. Phil. If anything should be blurred, it's them.

Tonight. Jeopardy. Turdferguson. Check your local listings. Swamp while watching, make fun of the Turd or bow down to his all-knowingness.